*A Paula Deen, Lady & Sons recipe. A real crowd pleaser. I sometimes omit the onion & bell pepper & add some onion powder if I am feeding picky eaters, comes out great either way. I also use "Morton Nature's Seasoning" in place of the House Seasoning listed in the recipe. There is also a sauce to go with it, (recipe below) but it is just as good without it. Serves 6-8.
INGREDIENTS
2 lbs Ground Beef (I use about a lb beef, and a lb pork)
2 tsp House Seasoning (recipe below)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium bell pepper, chopped
1 cup grated Cheddar Cheese
1/4 cup Worcestershire Sauce
1 cup Sour Cream
1 cup crushed Ritz Crackers
1 teaspoon Lawry's seasoned Salt
8-10 slices of bread (I use 8 when I make a square loaf)
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix all ingredients except bread slices. Shape into loaf. Use baking pan, not a loaf pan. Line pan with bread slices, place meat loaf on top. Bake loaf for 45-60 minutes. (I cook it for the full hour and it is done all the way through.) The bread absorbs any grease and should be discarded after loaf is removed from the oven.
SAUCE
One 10 3/4 oz can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 soup can measure of milk
1 1/2 cups grated Cheddar Cheese
Heat soup & Milk over medium heat; add cheese. Pour over meat loaf, or pass at the table.
* House Seasoning Recipe (makes quite a bit & is great in anything)
1 cup Salt, 1/4 cup Black Pepper, 1/4 cup Garlic Powder. Mix together well. Store in a shaker container near the stove for convenience.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Turkey & Stuffing Meatloaf
First the original recipe, then I will give you my shortcut version.
This makes a very large meatloaf, or you could divide into 2 loaves and freeze one.
**My sister, Cricket made this and said it would be good with a tarter apple (Granny Smith) and some shredded carrots.. great idea sis!
INGREDIENTS
2 McIntosh or Gala apples, peeled and cut into small dice
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 pounds ground all-white-meat turkey or a mix of dark and white meat
3-4 ribs of celery, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
1 large egg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups chicken stock
2 cups stuffing mix
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)
PREPARATION
Pre-heat the oven to 400ºF.In a large bowl, add the apples and lemon juice and toss together. Add the turkey, celery, onion, poultry seasoning, egg, salt and freshly ground black pepper.In a medium size bowl, add the stock and the stuffing. Toss around, letting the stuffing soak up the liquid, then add it to the bowl with the turkey. Mix everything together well, then turn it out onto a parchment paper-lined (or wax paper) baking sheet and shape it into a loaf. Coat with EVOO, transfer to the oven and roast until brown and cooked through, about an hour.
CIDER GRAVY
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
2 cups apple cider
2 cups chicken stock
Salt and ground black pepper
Preparation
In a skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter. Stir in the flour, cook 1 minute then whisk in the cider and stock. Let thicken, season with salt and pepper, then serve.
yesterday I was in the mood to make this, but not to run to the store.. so this is the short-cut version I made instead..it was really good!
SHORTCUT TURKEY & STUFFING MEATLOAF
2 lbs ground turkey
1 box stove top stuffing
2 cups chicken stock (heated til it just about boils)
1 large egg
1 handful craisins (Dried Cranberries)
Empty stove top stuffing into a mixing bowl. Add hot chickem stock, mix, then let sit until all liquid is absorbed. (Just a couple minutes) Then add ground turkey, craisins, and 1 large egg. Mix well, clean hands work best. Shape into 1 large loaf or 2 loaves. Cook in 400 degree preheated oven on a paper lined baking sheet (parchment or wax paper). Bake for 1 hour. I served it with roasted turkey gravy.
I also made "loaded mashed potatoes" w/ sour cream, grated cheese, & bacon bits. A major "comfort food" meal.
This makes a very large meatloaf, or you could divide into 2 loaves and freeze one.
**My sister, Cricket made this and said it would be good with a tarter apple (Granny Smith) and some shredded carrots.. great idea sis!
INGREDIENTS
2 McIntosh or Gala apples, peeled and cut into small dice
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 pounds ground all-white-meat turkey or a mix of dark and white meat
3-4 ribs of celery, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
1 large egg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups chicken stock
2 cups stuffing mix
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)
PREPARATION
Pre-heat the oven to 400ºF.In a large bowl, add the apples and lemon juice and toss together. Add the turkey, celery, onion, poultry seasoning, egg, salt and freshly ground black pepper.In a medium size bowl, add the stock and the stuffing. Toss around, letting the stuffing soak up the liquid, then add it to the bowl with the turkey. Mix everything together well, then turn it out onto a parchment paper-lined (or wax paper) baking sheet and shape it into a loaf. Coat with EVOO, transfer to the oven and roast until brown and cooked through, about an hour.
CIDER GRAVY
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
2 cups apple cider
2 cups chicken stock
Salt and ground black pepper
Preparation
In a skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter. Stir in the flour, cook 1 minute then whisk in the cider and stock. Let thicken, season with salt and pepper, then serve.
yesterday I was in the mood to make this, but not to run to the store.. so this is the short-cut version I made instead..it was really good!
SHORTCUT TURKEY & STUFFING MEATLOAF
2 lbs ground turkey
1 box stove top stuffing
2 cups chicken stock (heated til it just about boils)
1 large egg
1 handful craisins (Dried Cranberries)
Empty stove top stuffing into a mixing bowl. Add hot chickem stock, mix, then let sit until all liquid is absorbed. (Just a couple minutes) Then add ground turkey, craisins, and 1 large egg. Mix well, clean hands work best. Shape into 1 large loaf or 2 loaves. Cook in 400 degree preheated oven on a paper lined baking sheet (parchment or wax paper). Bake for 1 hour. I served it with roasted turkey gravy.
I also made "loaded mashed potatoes" w/ sour cream, grated cheese, & bacon bits. A major "comfort food" meal.
Born Again American by Keith Carradine
Awesome video..great cause..check it out..words listed below
www.bornagainamerican.org
Just a workin’ man without a job
It got shipped off to China via Washington, D.C.
And I know I’m nothin’ special, there are plenty more like me
Just the sameI thought I knew the rules of the game
I stood up for this country that I love
I came back from the desert to a wife and kids to feed
I’m not sayin’ Uncle Sam should give me what I need
My offer standsI’ll pull my weight you give me half a chance
I went up to a congressman and said to him “you know
Our government is letting people down”
He said he’d need a lot of help to buck the status-quo
I said there was a bunch of us around
I’m a Born Again American, conceived in Liberty
My Bible and the Bill of Rights, my creed’s equality
I’m a Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
My brother’s welding chassis at the plant
He’s earning what our granddad did in 1948
While CEOs count bonuses behind the castle gates
How can they see
When all they care about’s the do re mi
It’s getting where there’s nowhere left to turn
Not since the crash of twenty-nine have things been so unfair
So many of our citizens are living in despair
The time has come
To reaffirm that hope’s not just for some
The promise of America’s surrendering to greed
The rule is just look out for number one
But brace yourself ‘cause some of us have sown a different seed
A harvest of the spirit has begun
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and The Bill Of RightsMy creed’s equality
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
It’s clear my country’s soul is on the line
She’s hungering for something that she lost along the way
The principle the framers called upon us to obey
That in this land
The people’s will must have the upper hand
I felt the calling once before and took a sacred vow
And faithful to that vow
I have remainedI hear the calling once again, my country needs me now
And to her cause I have been re-ordained
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and the Bill Of Rights, all people living free
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining seaAnd everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining sea
A M E R I C A
www.bornagainamerican.org
Just a workin’ man without a job
It got shipped off to China via Washington, D.C.
And I know I’m nothin’ special, there are plenty more like me
Just the sameI thought I knew the rules of the game
I stood up for this country that I love
I came back from the desert to a wife and kids to feed
I’m not sayin’ Uncle Sam should give me what I need
My offer standsI’ll pull my weight you give me half a chance
I went up to a congressman and said to him “you know
Our government is letting people down”
He said he’d need a lot of help to buck the status-quo
I said there was a bunch of us around
I’m a Born Again American, conceived in Liberty
My Bible and the Bill of Rights, my creed’s equality
I’m a Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
My brother’s welding chassis at the plant
He’s earning what our granddad did in 1948
While CEOs count bonuses behind the castle gates
How can they see
When all they care about’s the do re mi
It’s getting where there’s nowhere left to turn
Not since the crash of twenty-nine have things been so unfair
So many of our citizens are living in despair
The time has come
To reaffirm that hope’s not just for some
The promise of America’s surrendering to greed
The rule is just look out for number one
But brace yourself ‘cause some of us have sown a different seed
A harvest of the spirit has begun
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and The Bill Of RightsMy creed’s equality
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
It’s clear my country’s soul is on the line
She’s hungering for something that she lost along the way
The principle the framers called upon us to obey
That in this land
The people’s will must have the upper hand
I felt the calling once before and took a sacred vow
And faithful to that vow
I have remainedI hear the calling once again, my country needs me now
And to her cause I have been re-ordained
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and the Bill Of Rights, all people living free
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining seaAnd everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining sea
A M E R I C A
Monday, March 30, 2009
An indulgent day..
Today started like any other day. I got the kids up, dressed, fed & out the door. I took the boys to the bus, got them on, then took Alexa to school. Normally I might go to the drivethru at Starbucks, grab a coffee, then see what I could get done at the house before going to a project meeting at the boy's school. I am not sure why I diverted from that, but I went into Starbucks, sat down with my coffee & a croissant, and worked through a few sudoku puzzles until it was time to go to the meeting. The meeting was at 9:30, I left the school at 1:30. As Brian says.."I can't say no!"
Then I went back to the house & did a few things until it was time to pick the boys up from the bus. I had to go to Sears to pickup a water filter for our refridgerator, so I took the boys to do it since I got sidetracked at the school earlier. Sears is at one end of the mall. At the other end is the kid's playground and an icecream place called Maggie Moo's. They have the creamiest homemade icecream and mix in your choice of goodies. I think we've only been there once before.
I decided to take the boys to Maggie's and then let them play at the playground. Hunter got bubblegum icecream with gummie bears & marshmallows. He forgot how hard it is to chew ice cold gummie bears! Tristan chose chocolate icecream with oreos & marshmallows. They switched when they were almost done so they could taste what the other one got. I tried their "better batter" icecream that tastes like cake batter, then added caramel & almonds. It was sooooo yummy! Now the boys are playing for a bit, then we will go get Alexa & head home. What an awesome, and for me, a very indulgent day!
Then I went back to the house & did a few things until it was time to pick the boys up from the bus. I had to go to Sears to pickup a water filter for our refridgerator, so I took the boys to do it since I got sidetracked at the school earlier. Sears is at one end of the mall. At the other end is the kid's playground and an icecream place called Maggie Moo's. They have the creamiest homemade icecream and mix in your choice of goodies. I think we've only been there once before.
I decided to take the boys to Maggie's and then let them play at the playground. Hunter got bubblegum icecream with gummie bears & marshmallows. He forgot how hard it is to chew ice cold gummie bears! Tristan chose chocolate icecream with oreos & marshmallows. They switched when they were almost done so they could taste what the other one got. I tried their "better batter" icecream that tastes like cake batter, then added caramel & almonds. It was sooooo yummy! Now the boys are playing for a bit, then we will go get Alexa & head home. What an awesome, and for me, a very indulgent day!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Technology has taken over!
Since Chad's graduation things have been flying by in a blur! It took a day or two to get us all unpacked and settled back in.
Brian & I switched our cell service from AT&T to Verizon this week. We had AT&T for over 10 years. Their customer service has become non-existent, and their new conversion changed our discount too, so it was time for a change. So I have spent the past few days getting setup and used to my new blackberry curve. I have always had a basic cell phone. My priority was a decent camera. No internet, no email, etc. This thing has and does more than I will ever use! It can also be addictive. It is a mini laptop! I can get my email, facebook updates, tons of stuff I really lived just fine without having at my fingertips. It doesn't just hold phone numbers.. it holds work and home addresses, birthdays & anniversaries too! I can personalize your number with a picture, (which I have almost everyone set up with already!) and even a custom ringtone so it shows your pic and plays your song when you call. How crazy is that?! My poor laptop was beginning to feel obsolete. My sister told me I could link up with flickr and my blog on my phone too, but I think I should leave something for my laptop to do!
I have been so submerged in technology the past couple days that it was a reality check to take the kids to the movies today and have to shut off my phone. I actually had to shut it off rather than turn it to silent because there are so many applications on it I couldn't find the one to change the ringer volume! Of course after the movie I found it right away. It was just more data than my mind could compute at the moment I needed it to!
So here I am back on my trusty laptop, well, not so trusty.. it has been acting up and at the moment has to be hooked up on a landline to work properly. But still my good old connection to the internet world. It also makes it easier for my "good, old" fingers & eyes to manipulate the keys! That phone keyboard is tiny!!
So off to bed I go. To recharge myself, and according to the beeping message, also to recharge my cell phone!!
Brian & I switched our cell service from AT&T to Verizon this week. We had AT&T for over 10 years. Their customer service has become non-existent, and their new conversion changed our discount too, so it was time for a change. So I have spent the past few days getting setup and used to my new blackberry curve. I have always had a basic cell phone. My priority was a decent camera. No internet, no email, etc. This thing has and does more than I will ever use! It can also be addictive. It is a mini laptop! I can get my email, facebook updates, tons of stuff I really lived just fine without having at my fingertips. It doesn't just hold phone numbers.. it holds work and home addresses, birthdays & anniversaries too! I can personalize your number with a picture, (which I have almost everyone set up with already!) and even a custom ringtone so it shows your pic and plays your song when you call. How crazy is that?! My poor laptop was beginning to feel obsolete. My sister told me I could link up with flickr and my blog on my phone too, but I think I should leave something for my laptop to do!
I have been so submerged in technology the past couple days that it was a reality check to take the kids to the movies today and have to shut off my phone. I actually had to shut it off rather than turn it to silent because there are so many applications on it I couldn't find the one to change the ringer volume! Of course after the movie I found it right away. It was just more data than my mind could compute at the moment I needed it to!
So here I am back on my trusty laptop, well, not so trusty.. it has been acting up and at the moment has to be hooked up on a landline to work properly. But still my good old connection to the internet world. It also makes it easier for my "good, old" fingers & eyes to manipulate the keys! That phone keyboard is tiny!!
So off to bed I go. To recharge myself, and according to the beeping message, also to recharge my cell phone!!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Family Day 3.19.09
We are all home and Chad is getting settled at Fort Huachuca in AZ, check out more photos in the photo gallery. (Link on the right sidebar, or double click on this photo top get there.)
Friday, March 20, 2009
Letting go..
Everyone is sleeping and I can't! It is actually still Thursday for me. We had a good day with Chad. He has become a man over the past 10 weeks. He even looks different to me. Not just in his physical appearance, but in how he carries himself. With a confidence & direction I am not used to seeing in him. I am so very proud of him!
My Mom & Dad came in this afternoon and had dinner with all of us at the NCO Club, They had a dinner for his unit there. He couldn't go off base until tomorrow, so he will see Greta & Randy in the morning. They got in this evening. He will have tomorrow until he has to report back to his unit (by 9 pm). Then he flys out Saturday morning to Arizona where he will go to tech school for almost 11 months.
Kierra living in St. Pete. is the farthest any of our children have lived from us. Even when Chad lived & worked with Greg & Lisa, it was just a couple hours away.
This is a new journey for both of us. It has been the best thing for Chad. It has been hard to let him go, partly because we weren't on the best terms when he left. I am trying to let that go too. This 24 hours with him here is like stepping into another dimension, a place we haven't been before. A reunion, a celebration, & a farewell packed into two 12 hour days.
That is such a short amount of time to get to know him, this man who used to be my little boy. I can say he always will be, but that child is packed away with my memories, and I have to rerrange his "room" in my mind, to adapt to this grown man he has become.
It will be hard to let him go not knowing when I will see him again. I am trying to plan a road trip with the kids in July, but alot can happen between now & then. He said he will try to come home for Christmas.
So this is what it feels like to truly have your child leave the nest, to love them enough to let them go...OUCH!
My Mom & Dad came in this afternoon and had dinner with all of us at the NCO Club, They had a dinner for his unit there. He couldn't go off base until tomorrow, so he will see Greta & Randy in the morning. They got in this evening. He will have tomorrow until he has to report back to his unit (by 9 pm). Then he flys out Saturday morning to Arizona where he will go to tech school for almost 11 months.
Kierra living in St. Pete. is the farthest any of our children have lived from us. Even when Chad lived & worked with Greg & Lisa, it was just a couple hours away.
This is a new journey for both of us. It has been the best thing for Chad. It has been hard to let him go, partly because we weren't on the best terms when he left. I am trying to let that go too. This 24 hours with him here is like stepping into another dimension, a place we haven't been before. A reunion, a celebration, & a farewell packed into two 12 hour days.
That is such a short amount of time to get to know him, this man who used to be my little boy. I can say he always will be, but that child is packed away with my memories, and I have to rerrange his "room" in my mind, to adapt to this grown man he has become.
It will be hard to let him go not knowing when I will see him again. I am trying to plan a road trip with the kids in July, but alot can happen between now & then. He said he will try to come home for Christmas.
So this is what it feels like to truly have your child leave the nest, to love them enough to let them go...OUCH!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Graduation Day..
I am getting things ready for our trip to SC for Chad's Army Basic Training Graduation. There don't seem to be enough hours in my day! He has family day Thursday, then graduates on Friday, He will head out to AZ on Saturday. I am not taking my laptop because it is still acting up, so I won't be online until I get back Sat. night.
I had half of a good day today, then it went to hell. As much as I love my husband, there are times he really doesn't "get it". After more than 25 years he should know I am more dangerous when I am hurt than when I am mad. I wish I could blow things off the way he seems to. But I am like a hungry dog with a bone, and I don't give it up! He should know that too! I am trying not to let it spoil the trip the way it spoiled my day. Of course.. I do love to chew on those bones!! He better hope I find something (or someone) else to gnaw on!
TTFN
I had half of a good day today, then it went to hell. As much as I love my husband, there are times he really doesn't "get it". After more than 25 years he should know I am more dangerous when I am hurt than when I am mad. I wish I could blow things off the way he seems to. But I am like a hungry dog with a bone, and I don't give it up! He should know that too! I am trying not to let it spoil the trip the way it spoiled my day. Of course.. I do love to chew on those bones!! He better hope I find something (or someone) else to gnaw on!
TTFN
Monday, March 16, 2009
Mj & the kids 3.14.09
Check out the new pix in the photo gallery.. Greta & Randy had pix done with all their grandkids so I had a couple shots taken.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Cloudy day
My laptop has been giving me major grief since yesterday afternoon. I am not sure what the deal is, but will be limited for posting until it gets sorted out. Yesterday was just an all around crappy day! Today doesn't seem to be faring much better. My mood matches the cloudy day outside my window, so maybe it is good that I am forced to be somewhat disconnected from the outside world! Hope things in your world are a bit brighter.. I'll be back soon!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Food for thought..
This is what happens when you don't feel well, Daddy won't be home til late and you spend way too much time with your kids! Alexa informed me she had to have one more letter to have the same as Hunter and she wanted an S for her last name! I guess that's one way to avoid confusion as to which plate is theirs!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Blog Blurbs
*I am volunteering this week at the boy's school. I am helping with the FCAT testing. I did it last year for 3rd grade. This year I am helping in 4th. It can be a long 2 hours! The rules are so strict and they have to follow the protocol exactly. I remember tests in school, but nothing like this! I am going to have lunch with Tristan after testing tomorrow, then have lunch with Hunter after testing on Thursday.
*I have been going through the kid's winter clothes and now have to sort through and get out their summer clothes. It has been in the 80's lately! They grow and change faster than I can seem to keep up with.
*They are not liking the time change at all. It is a major discussion for them to go to bed when it is barely dark out, then hard to make them get up before the sun. I am hoping they adjust to it soon! Mornings are rough right now.
*Chad is doing well and has passed his PT tests. We are really looking forward to his graduation. I am really proud of him. It still seems strange that he will be out in AZ soon and be there almost a year.
*Brianne is doing good. Almost back to her old self again. She still gets headaches when she is on the computer at work too long, or if it is real noisy. But she is back to work & driving and all seems to be going well.
*I almost started a line about Kierra, that is how automatic it is when I am talking about them all and updating about them. It is such a void, a missing part of the whole. I wasn't really even thinking about her, it just popped in there while I was typing. I wonder about "Heaven", about an "afterlife".. About what the souls/spirits of our loved ones are doing out there, in the vast unknown. I believe they are definitely there, but could not begin to define "where, how", etc. She is here, all around me, in my heart, in my head, even when I am not consciously thinking of her.
* Brian is working on a task force until mid-April. His hours suck and he has to work most of his days off to make up his off-duty hours. I am looking forward to having time with him for Chad's graduation, another bonus!
*Time to go get Alexa, so that's about it for now.
*I have been going through the kid's winter clothes and now have to sort through and get out their summer clothes. It has been in the 80's lately! They grow and change faster than I can seem to keep up with.
*They are not liking the time change at all. It is a major discussion for them to go to bed when it is barely dark out, then hard to make them get up before the sun. I am hoping they adjust to it soon! Mornings are rough right now.
*Chad is doing well and has passed his PT tests. We are really looking forward to his graduation. I am really proud of him. It still seems strange that he will be out in AZ soon and be there almost a year.
*Brianne is doing good. Almost back to her old self again. She still gets headaches when she is on the computer at work too long, or if it is real noisy. But she is back to work & driving and all seems to be going well.
*I almost started a line about Kierra, that is how automatic it is when I am talking about them all and updating about them. It is such a void, a missing part of the whole. I wasn't really even thinking about her, it just popped in there while I was typing. I wonder about "Heaven", about an "afterlife".. About what the souls/spirits of our loved ones are doing out there, in the vast unknown. I believe they are definitely there, but could not begin to define "where, how", etc. She is here, all around me, in my heart, in my head, even when I am not consciously thinking of her.
* Brian is working on a task force until mid-April. His hours suck and he has to work most of his days off to make up his off-duty hours. I am looking forward to having time with him for Chad's graduation, another bonus!
*Time to go get Alexa, so that's about it for now.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Out of the blue..
I heard this for the first time today flipping through radio stations.
Artist: Jackson Alan
Song: Sissy's Song
Album: Good Time
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, (wife) and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
(Then asking for His love)
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me
Artist: Jackson Alan
Song: Sissy's Song
Album: Good Time
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, (wife) and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
(Then asking for His love)
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
What's Cookin'
I made a huge pot of spaghetti and some awesome sauce the other day. So today I made up 3 pans of meat & cheese lasagna and 2 pans of cheese stuffed manicotti. I used up just about all the sauce and I still have alot of spaghetti left over, so now I am thinking of making some chicken tetrazzini with that. I have containers I got through the monthly cooking club I am in so it makes it easy to fill them up and freeze them. Easy to label too. They cancelled our meeting for this month so I already have the meals for April done & in the freezer. Sometimes I just get in the mood to cook. It fills the house with comforting smells and reminds me of my Grammy Blomgren's house. She always had something in the oven or on the stove. I haven't always been a very good cook. It has been a long process. I enjoy cooking, I enjoy it when other people enjoy what I cook. The kids all have their own aprons and enjoy doing things with me in the kitchen too. I got Hunter his first cookbook for Christmas. That's something I never shared with my mother. She had too many children and had to work. My Grammy B. gave me the basics and I loved to watch her in the kitchen. Her Turkey Croquettes with Egg Sauce is one of my favorite recipes. I used to call her when I was first married to get recipes for everything. I still have them. She made everything from scratch. My friend Nancy visited with her when she lived with my parents in Tennessee. I asked her to record my grandmother sharing stories. I still have that recording. One story was about her and a friend going to the grocery store. Cooking dinner took hours back in those days and they really wanted to do some frivolous shopping. There were some new canned biscuits at the store so they decided to try them. They put their groceries in the car and went off to enjoy some spare time together. On returning to the car they were suprised and a bit shocked to find something all over the inside of the car windows. They soon discovered their new cans of biscuits had exploded all over the car! So they not only had a mess to clean up, but then had to rush to make biscuits for dinner. She laughed retelling the story and I am so glad I was able to record that memory. She was an awesome lady and I miss her.
Monday, March 02, 2009
A rough start..
Well, after a great weekend we got off to a rocky start today. All 3 kids didn't want to get out of bed, and no one wanted to go to school. It was like pulling stubborn teeth to get them up, dressed, fed, and out the door. I can't stand starting the day like that! Everyone was grumpy and that makes me grumpy. I managed to get them somewhat out of their funk then when we got to the bus it all started again. Hunter said it was crazy sock day at their school today so the boys both wore mismatched crazy looking socks. When they were getting on the bus Tristan noticed someone wasn't wearing mismatched socks. He was adamant that he wanted his socks to match, he didn't want to be crazy! I got him on the bus with the promise I would meet him at school to give him a matching sock so he could change it if he wanted to. I did, and all was well with the world. Until Hunter decided to get emotional and want to go back home with me when I brought Tristan's sock. I don't know where all this came from, but I got him settled back down. They have an awesome bus driver and he helped calm them down. I called Hunter's teacher to give her a head's up that he was having an emotional morning. I emailed Tristan's teacher to explain the spare sock. Two down, one to go. I got Alexa to school with her being the least of my problems this morning, until I dropped her at her class and she instantly turned on the tears. I am going to her class to read Dr. Seuss at 11:30. She wanted me to stay or to come home with me until reading time. I got her calmed down and settled in with the promise I would be back to read to her and her class in just a little while. What a way to start the day!
On the way home I stopped at Starbucks for my coffee fix and decided to call into the local radio station for a contest I was listening to. I got on and managed to beat the champion, a logistics engineer, in their Battle of the Sexes contest. I will compete again tomorrow morning. So far I have won movie passes, and an upsweep to the way my day started. We will see what tomorrow brings!
On the way home I stopped at Starbucks for my coffee fix and decided to call into the local radio station for a contest I was listening to. I got on and managed to beat the champion, a logistics engineer, in their Battle of the Sexes contest. I will compete again tomorrow morning. So far I have won movie passes, and an upsweep to the way my day started. We will see what tomorrow brings!
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Monster Truck Jam 2.28.09
Rick took the boys & I to the Monster Truck Jam as one of their Christmas presents. He also got them a t-shirt of their favorite trucks and a poster too. Yes, they are spoiled! They had a blast. 72,000 people were there to watch these monster trucks race and crash. I was amazed at how many flipped over during the freestyle and how much the crowd loved it! We picked Rick up at 5 pm and we pulled into our driveway at the end of the night at 1 am. I am glad I brought us all earplugs! We had awesome seats right up close so we were front & center for all the action. I have been listening to recreations of the night's events all morning! Alexa got to have a sleepover with Auntie Terri & Jessica, a girl's only night, so she didn't feel left out. It has definitely been an "all about the kids" weekend. I am glad they enjoyed all their adventures. I enjoyed it too. I may think it takes me back to being a kid again, but my body reminds me that I'm not!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Backyard camping 2.27.09
We are going to go camping soon so I figured it would be a good idea to practice putting up the 3 room tent we have but have never used. The kids & I are going to camp out in the backyard tonight. I am sure my back will tell me all about it tomorrow! I will fill you in after our night of adventure, sweet dreams!
P.S. Morning after.. the kids had a blast. I am sore all over! I heard every dog bark, every rustle of leaves, I am worn out!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Alien Invasion!
It is so funny to be considered the greatest Mom in the world because I made quesadillas for dinner and let them have ranch dressing to dip them in. Then, of course, I am not the greatest because I won't let them stay up late on a school night. In the course of a single day they can go from being the sweetest, politest, most loving children to being aliens from Mars, monsters unrecognizable to the human eye!
And while I am on a roll, what is with their built in censors? They can be sound asleep, in their rooms, doors partially closed. We can be in our room with the door closed (and locked) for some "quality" time. Just when we are at the most "distracted" there will be a voice at the door just before they try to turn the knob. Talk about a mood buster! And they never want Brian, it has to be me. It happens too often to be coincidence! And it happened with the older three when they were little too. See.. aliens. Has your house been invaded too? Or are ours just overly intuitive?? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm...
And while I am on a roll, what is with their built in censors? They can be sound asleep, in their rooms, doors partially closed. We can be in our room with the door closed (and locked) for some "quality" time. Just when we are at the most "distracted" there will be a voice at the door just before they try to turn the knob. Talk about a mood buster! And they never want Brian, it has to be me. It happens too often to be coincidence! And it happened with the older three when they were little too. See.. aliens. Has your house been invaded too? Or are ours just overly intuitive?? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm...
The Mom Song
I have gotten this a few times and I am amazed at how many of these phrases I have used (and more!) when rambling to the kids. Take a minute and enjoy a good laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESe-AysF9mw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESe-AysF9mw&feature=related
Pill Poppers Beware!
I take several medications daily, okay, I am supposed to take several medications daily! I just got one of my scripts filled yesterday. I went to take it this morning and realized it is the same size and shape, but a different color. I checked the bottle to see if it was the right med, brand, dose, etc. and it was. I still wasn't comfortable taking it so I called my pharmacist and explained it was always green, these are blue. He got the info from me and said he would call me back. He did and it is the wrong dose. Double what I should take. They are dispensing the correct med and I will take these back. Normally I take them on the run first thing in the morning as I am getting the kids out the door to school. I forgot this morning, so I was late taking them. My regular pharmacist wasn't there yesterday, but I didn't think to check the meds. It is scary that everything was labeled correct but the pill was wrong. Just goes to show how quick we are to trust strangers to do things that are so important. How we get too comfortable sometimes and just go with the flow. I double check my food order at McDonalds, but didn't think I needed to check meds that I put into my body everyday. I am sure I will from now on, at least for awhile, until I get comfortable again. Be careful out there!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Butt, Booty, & Boogie
I have been so immersed in the world of babies and children I sometimes forget that not everyone is. Our friend Terry went with me to take Brianne to her Dr. Appt. Monday morning. I went to find a rest room then met them in the pharmacy afterward. They were having fits of laughter & giggles. They just happened to be sitting accross from the baby aisle. There on display were tubes of Butt Paste & Booty Goo. Don't the names just make you smile, or maybe even chuckle, a little? I didn't get carried away like they did. Maybe because I know that the stuff is like paste & goo! And as honestly as they're named, they honestly work.
Then yesterday I went to pick up some cold medicine for Alexa and guess what I found? Boogie Wipes! Yep, special wipes for a boogie nose. In grape or strawberry scents. Okay, yes I did, I got the grape ones. they are bigger than I thought they would be and smell much better than baby wipes and are antibacterial too. So now I have pesonal knowledge of butts, bootys, & boogies!
Then yesterday I went to pick up some cold medicine for Alexa and guess what I found? Boogie Wipes! Yep, special wipes for a boogie nose. In grape or strawberry scents. Okay, yes I did, I got the grape ones. they are bigger than I thought they would be and smell much better than baby wipes and are antibacterial too. So now I have pesonal knowledge of butts, bootys, & boogies!
What's in a name?
The other night my son-in-law was over spending some time with Brianne. I can't even recall what started it, he was probably aggravating Bri or one of the kids.. anywho.. I had already told him to stop at least once, so, as with all my kids, I said Justin Daniel! Stop. He then replied okay Mari-jane _______. (using my middle name) Brian immediately told him "dead man walking!" and Bri & our friend Terry sounded their ooooooohs, and warned him of my wrath.
You see, everyone who really knows me, knows I do not use my middle name, nor does anyone else. My middle name is after my grandmother who I love dearly. She passed away when I was expecting Brianne. She was my lifeboat when I was a child. I don't know that it is so much that I don't like the name really, maybe it is more that I can't possibly live up to it. It has been a long running family secret that really isn't a secret. Everyone usually gives out hints until it is guessed. I threatened Justin to list all the things he has done in 6 years to annoy me besides using my middle name outloud.. the list is long, but I will let him off the hook this time, only this time, because it allowed me to pause and think of her, my Nana, for a few more seconds than I have had time for in a while. She had heart, she had spunk, she had so much love. I got that from her, along with her name.....Mildred.
You see, everyone who really knows me, knows I do not use my middle name, nor does anyone else. My middle name is after my grandmother who I love dearly. She passed away when I was expecting Brianne. She was my lifeboat when I was a child. I don't know that it is so much that I don't like the name really, maybe it is more that I can't possibly live up to it. It has been a long running family secret that really isn't a secret. Everyone usually gives out hints until it is guessed. I threatened Justin to list all the things he has done in 6 years to annoy me besides using my middle name outloud.. the list is long, but I will let him off the hook this time, only this time, because it allowed me to pause and think of her, my Nana, for a few more seconds than I have had time for in a while. She had heart, she had spunk, she had so much love. I got that from her, along with her name.....Mildred.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
He's getting too big.. for his britches..
Hunter has informed me that although he may like to watch the movies and cartoons, he is too old to wear Disney Character clothes. I thought at least the Power Rangers would be okay, but no, not even them. He is too big for that kind of stuff and wanted me to put them away for Tristan to wear to kindergarten. I guess it's a good thing Hunter is small for his age, so Tristan may actually be able to wear them in the fall. I guess 2nd grade is a bit big for Character clothes. I thought they looked pretty cool, but not to 8 year old boys who want to be bigger. I wish he wouldn't grow up so fast. I wish he still liked to run around wearing Winnie-The-Pooh. I wish he was that chubby baby all cute, cuddly, & full of giggles. He is still full of giggles, they are just harder won. I may think he is cute & cuddly, but he doesn't want to be considered a baby in any way, shape, or form. I wasn't prepared for this. I had forgotten how important it is for boys to be big, to be more than just a little kid, to look the part of being a little man. No more shopping at the Disney Store for him! I guess it will be Tony Hawk & NFL gear from now on!
Putting my house in order..
Well, we solved the stir crazy day and the days following, so all is well. Between Bri's recovery and Terry visiting I have seriously neglected my house. I had spoiled Brian & myself the few weeks preceding because I had been keeping things cleaned up and even got the beds made every day. I kept up on laundry, cooked, and kept the kitchen clean. Then so much was going on I barely did the basics. Boy does it show! Bri is doing better, Terry had to head home, and I need to get back on track. I started weeding through our office paperwork and "stuff" a couple weeks ago and that is still a work in progress. I have a kitchen project I planned about a year ago now..would like to get that done too. So I am going to try to get caught back up on putting my house in order. A constant work in progress, but progress worth the work!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Stir Crazy, or just plain nuts?
There is a vast difference between my grown child needing calm & quiet, and the 3 smaller children needing activity and action. Here I am inthe middle of them all trying to keep everyone happy! Brianne is doing much better, although headaches are still an issue. She is getting up and around on her own and needs little assistance. Things just take her alot longer. I am going to get her settled then take the kids to the mall playground for a bit. There are no kid's movies out at all that are appropriate for them, so I have to explore other options. It is too cold, so they don't want to go to the zoo either. Any activity in the house becomes too loud no matter what it is because they just want to go and do. If I had the funds they would be going to daycare for awhile! So off I go to let them release some of this pent-up energy. They have really done well the past few days, so I guess they are allowed a crazy day! I am at the mercy of them all today, so I guess I'll be going crazy too.. nothing new!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A blurred moment..
The little ones have been so worried about their Brianne. She was discharged from the hospital last night and came to our house so she can have someone with her the first few days until she is steady on her feet. The concussion seems to be the hardest part to deal with right now.
Terri & Dwight picked the kids up from school and kept them until I had her home and settled. I went and picked them up and let Justin spend some alone time with Bri.
On our way home I reminded the kids that they would have to be quiet and be careful with Brianne for a few days. Alexa said "yea, because she has a broken head." Then they started asking questions about her injury and how they fixed it. They can't quite understand about the staples they used for her cut. And they think she should have a purple cast on her head til it gets better.
They did quite well trying to be quiet. I think seeing her and seeing that she is okay has helped them alot. It is scary to be little and have someone grown up get seriously hurt. And to trust when everyone tells you they will be okay. It is more comforting to see for yourself.
Mornings are the toughest for Bri right now. The dizziness and nausea are at their worst then. We finally got her feeling well enough to get in the tub and get a hot bath, and to finally get all the dried blood out of her hair late this morning. She ate some soup and is resting. Pain meds are a wonderful thing.
It was the strangest sensation in the early hours this morning to hear her whisper "Mommy?" I was on the couch and have an intercom set up. I went right in. She had slept through the next dose of pain med and the headache was in full force. Tonight I will set an alarm to make sure she gets it every 4 hours. I got her meds and rubbed her back. In the first instant when she called me it was like when she was a young child and would call out for me in the night. When you are half asleep listening for them it can be a blurred moment in time when you hear that voice and have to think of where, and when, you are.
I am glad I can be here for her and with her while she gets better. I am proud of the kids for being able to understand that she needs me and I may be stretched a little thin. They can be little grownups when they have to be.
I will update everyone as we go. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.
Terri & Dwight picked the kids up from school and kept them until I had her home and settled. I went and picked them up and let Justin spend some alone time with Bri.
On our way home I reminded the kids that they would have to be quiet and be careful with Brianne for a few days. Alexa said "yea, because she has a broken head." Then they started asking questions about her injury and how they fixed it. They can't quite understand about the staples they used for her cut. And they think she should have a purple cast on her head til it gets better.
They did quite well trying to be quiet. I think seeing her and seeing that she is okay has helped them alot. It is scary to be little and have someone grown up get seriously hurt. And to trust when everyone tells you they will be okay. It is more comforting to see for yourself.
Mornings are the toughest for Bri right now. The dizziness and nausea are at their worst then. We finally got her feeling well enough to get in the tub and get a hot bath, and to finally get all the dried blood out of her hair late this morning. She ate some soup and is resting. Pain meds are a wonderful thing.
It was the strangest sensation in the early hours this morning to hear her whisper "Mommy?" I was on the couch and have an intercom set up. I went right in. She had slept through the next dose of pain med and the headache was in full force. Tonight I will set an alarm to make sure she gets it every 4 hours. I got her meds and rubbed her back. In the first instant when she called me it was like when she was a young child and would call out for me in the night. When you are half asleep listening for them it can be a blurred moment in time when you hear that voice and have to think of where, and when, you are.
I am glad I can be here for her and with her while she gets better. I am proud of the kids for being able to understand that she needs me and I may be stretched a little thin. They can be little grownups when they have to be.
I will update everyone as we go. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Brianne update
Brianne is spending another night at the hospital. They are downgrading her from ICU to a regular rm. and she should come home tomorrow. Her catscan came back normal today and she got the all clear from the neurosurgeon. She was thrilled to get the neck brace off. She has already gotten some negative comments about horse back riding and if it was worth it. I told her to blow them off. She knows herself and she knows the horse. It was an accident. Wether she rides again or not it is HER choice. I will not be upset if she chooses not to ride anymore. I don't know how to convince others that it was a fluke. She will obviously be more careful and wear a helmet. She shouldn't have to justify herself to anyone. We went over what happened. She knows the mistakes that were made, by her and the horse. I let her know the most important thing to worry about is recovering, not anything else. I don't think she needs to be preached to about the perils of horses. I think that lesson was self-taught yesterday! We should all be thankful she is okay and on the mend. I know I am.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Run, Lenny, Run.... NOT!
Have you ever seen a horse running without it's rider? It is a scene which invoked a gut wrenching fear in me today. Brianne was thrown from her horse. She was cantering and he decided to gallop instead. Then he must have realized he was heading toward the barn, so he took the turn like he used to when he was a barrel racer. A crazy horse version of sliding into home plate. Then he righted himself still going much too fast and Brianne went airborne and came down hard. She didn't lose consciousness and got herself up. She tore up the skin on her left hand and was bleeding from her ponytail. We called rescue to be sure her neck and back were okay and didn't want to play around with a head injury. They took her to the Trauma ER in Jax. She got a few staples for the cut and x-rays showed a crack in her skull. There isn't any brain bruising or damage that they can see. They will keep her at least 24 hours in ICU and we will go from there. She has a very bad headache and is super nauseous. It was such a fluke. She was on Lenny, who has always liked to run, but never to that extent. She has always ridden him and never had a problem. Of course one of the golden rules is to never run heading toward the barn. I don't think he even realized he was going that fast, hence the homeplate slide. I didn't stop long enough to make sure he was okay, so I left a message for the barn manager to check him for me. She was going to untack them and put them out for me, so I am sure she checked him over. We thought it was just a few stitches and some bruises. As bad as it is, it could have been a lot worse. It is a scary thing to see your child injured. It is such a helpless feeling to want to take away their pain and know you can't. I will let you know how things are tomorrow.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Is That You?
Is that you
in my dreams as I sleep?
Is that you
watching me as I weep?
Is that you
playing a song just for me?
Is that you
in every dragonfly I see?
Wherever I go
In whatever I do
I think it is..
Is that you?
mjs 2.13.09
in my dreams as I sleep?
Is that you
watching me as I weep?
Is that you
playing a song just for me?
Is that you
in every dragonfly I see?
Wherever I go
In whatever I do
I think it is..
Is that you?
mjs 2.13.09
Keilbabsa Rice Casserole
Ingredients:
*1pkgs (0.9oz) Knorr Spring Vegetable recipe/soup mix
*1/4stick butter (2 tablespooons)
*3 1/2 cups water
*1 1/2 cups rice (I use Uncle Ben's Original Converted Rice)
*7-8 oz.Keilbasa (I used Oscar Mayer Turkey Polska Keilbasa & cut it into small pieces.)
*1 tsp. Beef Broth Granules (can also use 1 boullion cube)
Combine 3 1/2 cups water with the Knorr mix in large saucepan.
Add 1/4 stick butter, bring to a boil.
Stir in 1 1/2 cups rice, and 1 tsp.beef granules.Then add Keilbasa.
Cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. Turn off heat. Any extra liquid will be absorbed in about 10 minutes.
I double this recipe when I make it, but downsized it for smaller families.
Cricket, you would definitely have to double the recipe!
*1pkgs (0.9oz) Knorr Spring Vegetable recipe/soup mix
*1/4stick butter (2 tablespooons)
*3 1/2 cups water
*1 1/2 cups rice (I use Uncle Ben's Original Converted Rice)
*7-8 oz.Keilbasa (I used Oscar Mayer Turkey Polska Keilbasa & cut it into small pieces.)
*1 tsp. Beef Broth Granules (can also use 1 boullion cube)
Combine 3 1/2 cups water with the Knorr mix in large saucepan.
Add 1/4 stick butter, bring to a boil.
Stir in 1 1/2 cups rice, and 1 tsp.beef granules.Then add Keilbasa.
Cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. Turn off heat. Any extra liquid will be absorbed in about 10 minutes.
I double this recipe when I make it, but downsized it for smaller families.
Cricket, you would definitely have to double the recipe!
Cheesy Baked Ziti
Ingredients:
*16 oz. uncooked Ziti
*16 oz Ricotta Cheese
*3 cups (12 oz) Mozarella Cheese, Grated
*3 cups (26 oz. jar) Marinara or Spaghetti Sauce
*1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook Ziti in salted water, 8-10 minutes, drain.
Place Ziti in large bowl. Mix in 16 oz. ricotta cheese and half (1 1/2 cups) of the mozarella cheese. Mix well.
In a greased 9X13 inch casserole dish, spread half of the Sauce (1 1/2 cups) in the bottom of the pan.Add ziti mixture and then cover with the remaining sauce. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese and the remaining mozarella cheese.
Bake uncovered for 20-30 minutes, until it bubbles around the edges.
This makes a very large amount. I serve extra sauce with it for those who like it saucier!
*16 oz. uncooked Ziti
*16 oz Ricotta Cheese
*3 cups (12 oz) Mozarella Cheese, Grated
*3 cups (26 oz. jar) Marinara or Spaghetti Sauce
*1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook Ziti in salted water, 8-10 minutes, drain.
Place Ziti in large bowl. Mix in 16 oz. ricotta cheese and half (1 1/2 cups) of the mozarella cheese. Mix well.
In a greased 9X13 inch casserole dish, spread half of the Sauce (1 1/2 cups) in the bottom of the pan.Add ziti mixture and then cover with the remaining sauce. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese and the remaining mozarella cheese.
Bake uncovered for 20-30 minutes, until it bubbles around the edges.
This makes a very large amount. I serve extra sauce with it for those who like it saucier!
The language of children..
They say the darnedest things!
*Tristan wants to be "tuckled" in. That is a cross between a snuggle and being tucked in!
*Alexa "can't like that" if there is something she doesn't want to eat or isn't sure of.
*Alexa has picked up "darnit" and "Holy Cow", she has been saying them all morning!
*Tristan still says "Wow, I did not see that one coming!" whenever something suprises him.
*When Tristan has done something he thinks will get him in trouble he comes up and says "I Love You" out of the blue. I have learned to tell him I love you too, what did you do? He usually answers honestly.
*When Alexa wants to stall she will say "Just 5 more minutes, just 5, okay?"
* They think "Stupid" is the bad "S" word.
*"But the sun is rising" is Tristan's reasoning to get up at dawn.
These are just a few of the cute things they say. Their minds are constantly learning and merging what they think with what they hear. I have to really watch what I say!
*Tristan wants to be "tuckled" in. That is a cross between a snuggle and being tucked in!
*Alexa "can't like that" if there is something she doesn't want to eat or isn't sure of.
*Alexa has picked up "darnit" and "Holy Cow", she has been saying them all morning!
*Tristan still says "Wow, I did not see that one coming!" whenever something suprises him.
*When Tristan has done something he thinks will get him in trouble he comes up and says "I Love You" out of the blue. I have learned to tell him I love you too, what did you do? He usually answers honestly.
*When Alexa wants to stall she will say "Just 5 more minutes, just 5, okay?"
* They think "Stupid" is the bad "S" word.
*"But the sun is rising" is Tristan's reasoning to get up at dawn.
These are just a few of the cute things they say. Their minds are constantly learning and merging what they think with what they hear. I have to really watch what I say!
HAPPY HEART DAY!
Valentine's Day is not just a celebration of ideal relationships in a perfect world. It goes beyond that.. It's about real people who support one another in hard times, help each other through problems, and share life's joys as well as it's sadness.
It's about the kind of person who says "I'm here for you" and means it. It's about caring, friendship, love. That's why it is so much more than just a day of hearts and flowers.
Valentine's Day is a celebration of special friends and family.
Sending big hugs to all of you who matter in my life!
It's about the kind of person who says "I'm here for you" and means it. It's about caring, friendship, love. That's why it is so much more than just a day of hearts and flowers.
Valentine's Day is a celebration of special friends and family.
Sending big hugs to all of you who matter in my life!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Patience & Practice..
I think I think too much. I worry about every little thing. I try to be sure everyone is happy. That they have what they want and don't want for anything. It is exhausting! It isn't a constant thing, I go through phases. It is like the tides, it comes and goes. It keeps me too busy to worry about me. I have tried recently to shift that concentration and pay more attention to what I need. Right now I have some health issues which require me taking my meds like I am supposed to and paying attention to my body and what it needs. I am not used to that, and my health has suffered at times because of it. It is easy to say I can't take care of others if I don't take care of myself and know that is true. It is harder to apply that theory to my everyday life. I am not a spring chicken, and I have not always lived a healthy lifestyle. I am trying to do better. In the past 5 months I have lost 42 pounds. That is a big step to being healthier. I have found some of my health concerns were disguised by my weight and the issues we blame on being heavy. Now I have to address my issues and take the steps to making myself healthier. It can be hard to accept that we are not as strong as we think we are, or not invincible. It is difficult to balance caring for others and caring for ourselves. It isn't impossible, it just takes patience and practice. I am up to the challenge of practicing, I am not so sure about finding the patience!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
With Pinnochio 2.4.09
.. and with the sun in their eyes..What a Day! It was cold, but they never complained. Of course I made them wear 2 shirts, winter tights under their jeans, hats, scarfs, & mittens!
Alexa even braved "It's a Small World" after being asked to leave the ride last Memorial Day for screaming her head off. They aren't babies anymore!
Click on this pic to see the other awesome pix we took for their birthday at Disney.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Kie & babies Feb. 4, 2004
Hard to believe it has been 5 years already! We are off to Disney with Tristan & Alexa for the day. I will post pix tomorrow. It will be a day full of memories, both old & new.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Time Marches On..
Okay, well I guess it was my turn to disappear! I didn't really, but I have been absent from blogging. By the time my day is at an end and I think of getting online, it is late and I am tired. I have been dealing with a bout of "Reactive Mono/Epstein-Barr Virus", which my doc says is not contagious. It will flare up when I am stressed or my immune system is low. For years I have had what they thought was Pharyngitis, once or twice a year. Now she thinks it was this instead.
Add to that some "female" problems, which have left me severely anemic, and I have been wiped out. I am looking forward to having these issues resolved soon and I am starting to feel better.
Things have been busy as usual. We registered Alexa for Kindergarten last week. Tristan is automatically registered because he attends preschool where they will attend Kindergarten. They will be 5 this Wednesday, seems hard to believe so much time has gone by. They have lost that toddler look and have become their own "little people". Although Tristan has started climbing into our bed at night and insists I "Tuckle" him in. That is his new word for tucking him in and getting to snuggle.
I registered them for the free pass to Disney for their birthday. Brian & I will take them Wednesday for the day. It isn't such a big deal for them to miss preschool for one day. Brianne will pick up Hunter and have some one on one time with him which he doesn't get too often. Then we will take him on his own for his birthday.
Time marches on. It both amazes and frightens me. I had a difficult moment this afternoon when I was going to pick up the boys at their bus stop. I missed Kie so much it took my breath away, it was physically painful. Not because of a song on the radio, or any other obvious reason. It just hit me. Broadsided me right out of the blue. That doesn't happen as often as it used to. I miss her often, I think of her many times throughout my day, but it hasn't slammed into me like that in quite a while. I called my friend Terry M. and we talked about it, then talked about other things so that by the time I got the boys I was back in control.
I am sure this week will be emotional for me, for Brian too. I am so glad I have him to lean on, to understand my pain and to love me. We will get through the twin's birthday together, with them, and make the most of their day. We will give them great memories and great fun. Kie would want that for them, we do too. So we take it day by day... as time marches on.
Add to that some "female" problems, which have left me severely anemic, and I have been wiped out. I am looking forward to having these issues resolved soon and I am starting to feel better.
Things have been busy as usual. We registered Alexa for Kindergarten last week. Tristan is automatically registered because he attends preschool where they will attend Kindergarten. They will be 5 this Wednesday, seems hard to believe so much time has gone by. They have lost that toddler look and have become their own "little people". Although Tristan has started climbing into our bed at night and insists I "Tuckle" him in. That is his new word for tucking him in and getting to snuggle.
I registered them for the free pass to Disney for their birthday. Brian & I will take them Wednesday for the day. It isn't such a big deal for them to miss preschool for one day. Brianne will pick up Hunter and have some one on one time with him which he doesn't get too often. Then we will take him on his own for his birthday.
Time marches on. It both amazes and frightens me. I had a difficult moment this afternoon when I was going to pick up the boys at their bus stop. I missed Kie so much it took my breath away, it was physically painful. Not because of a song on the radio, or any other obvious reason. It just hit me. Broadsided me right out of the blue. That doesn't happen as often as it used to. I miss her often, I think of her many times throughout my day, but it hasn't slammed into me like that in quite a while. I called my friend Terry M. and we talked about it, then talked about other things so that by the time I got the boys I was back in control.
I am sure this week will be emotional for me, for Brian too. I am so glad I have him to lean on, to understand my pain and to love me. We will get through the twin's birthday together, with them, and make the most of their day. We will give them great memories and great fun. Kie would want that for them, we do too. So we take it day by day... as time marches on.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Where is Everyone?!
Has anyone else noticed the absence of others in their lives? I blamed it on the Holidays, but am not so sure. Do we get so busy, so caught up, that keeping in touch is the first thing we set aside? I don't think it is just personal contact. People are blogging less, emailing less, writing has almost become obsolete. Even calling each other seems to take too much time. I know I slacked off some over Christmas. I wasn't in a very good mood and didn't have much to say.
So where is everyone?! My "other daughter" Brenda hasn't been seen or spoken to since near the end of October. I have left numerous messages, nada. My younger brother pulled his disappearing act back in September. Those are the ones that really worry me. The rest of you I worry about, but not about being dead or alive. I worry how you are, what's going on that has you so caught up. Is it good things or problems? Is it the worry that I have enough on my plate already? PUHLEASE! Knowing you are having tough times isn't going to stress me to my breaking point. I will worry and try to help in whatever way I can, but I think I can handle it. If it is just a matter of life being so busy it has you going at top speed with no time to breathe.. it would be a relief to know that. Trust me, I know how that is!
I know I asked for the gift of your time for Christmas, but it doesn't mean that if you can't give me your undivided attention I don't want to hear from you. It doesn't mean I only care about the ones who are right here around me. I have had most of my friends for many, many years. I have some I have only known a few. You are all important to me. So take care and keep in touch when you can. I miss you, and I hope to hear from you soon!
So where is everyone?! My "other daughter" Brenda hasn't been seen or spoken to since near the end of October. I have left numerous messages, nada. My younger brother pulled his disappearing act back in September. Those are the ones that really worry me. The rest of you I worry about, but not about being dead or alive. I worry how you are, what's going on that has you so caught up. Is it good things or problems? Is it the worry that I have enough on my plate already? PUHLEASE! Knowing you are having tough times isn't going to stress me to my breaking point. I will worry and try to help in whatever way I can, but I think I can handle it. If it is just a matter of life being so busy it has you going at top speed with no time to breathe.. it would be a relief to know that. Trust me, I know how that is!
I know I asked for the gift of your time for Christmas, but it doesn't mean that if you can't give me your undivided attention I don't want to hear from you. It doesn't mean I only care about the ones who are right here around me. I have had most of my friends for many, many years. I have some I have only known a few. You are all important to me. So take care and keep in touch when you can. I miss you, and I hope to hear from you soon!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Mexican Beef Casserole
I am part of a meal exchange group as part as the Jax parents of multiples. We get together once a month. We make 10 of an entree or, like this month, we make 5 of something and 5 of another. Then we get together and swap meals. It helps stretch the grocery bill and also gives us a break form our own cooking. I made Chicken tortilla Soup this month and also a Mexican Casserole. The Casserole originally called for Chicken, but there were already alot of chicken items listed, so I decided to make it with Beef. Then I noticed the other ingredients were meant for use with chicken. So I took the basic recipe idea and made it completely different. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't! This time it worked and actually turned out really good.. so here is is;
MEXICAN BEEF CASSEROLE
Ingredients;
*1 pound of ground beef
*1 pkg taco seasoning
*3/4 cup water
*2 cans bean w/ bacon soup
*1 can rotel tomatoes (your choice of original, mild, or hot- there are green chiles in with the tomatoes) Do Not Drain.
*1 bag corn chips, crushed or broken up (I used regular, but the original recipe was with Doritos.)
*2 cups cheddar or cheese of your choice
*1 4.5 oz can green chiles (optional)
*sour cream (optional, amount based on your preference)
Prep;
*Cook ground beef, drain off all fat.
*Add 3/4 cup water and 1 pkg. taco seasoning. Stir well, then cover and simmer for 2-3 minutes.
*Add 2 cans bean with bacon soup & 1 can (undrained) rotel tomatoes. Stir well until all ingredients are combined.
Use any medium - large casserole or baking dish. Layer items as follows;
*1/2 the bag of crushed corn chips
*1/2 the beef mixture
*remaining crushed corn chips
*remaining beef mixture
*spread 2 cups cheese of your choice over mixture
*sprinkle green chiles on top (optional)
Bake in 350 degree oven for 20-30 minutes, until cheese is melted.
Can be served with sour cream (optional)
My family also enjoyed it as a dip using the chips to scoop it up rather than having them in the casserole.
MEXICAN BEEF CASSEROLE
Ingredients;
*1 pound of ground beef
*1 pkg taco seasoning
*3/4 cup water
*2 cans bean w/ bacon soup
*1 can rotel tomatoes (your choice of original, mild, or hot- there are green chiles in with the tomatoes) Do Not Drain.
*1 bag corn chips, crushed or broken up (I used regular, but the original recipe was with Doritos.)
*2 cups cheddar or cheese of your choice
*1 4.5 oz can green chiles (optional)
*sour cream (optional, amount based on your preference)
Prep;
*Cook ground beef, drain off all fat.
*Add 3/4 cup water and 1 pkg. taco seasoning. Stir well, then cover and simmer for 2-3 minutes.
*Add 2 cans bean with bacon soup & 1 can (undrained) rotel tomatoes. Stir well until all ingredients are combined.
Use any medium - large casserole or baking dish. Layer items as follows;
*1/2 the bag of crushed corn chips
*1/2 the beef mixture
*remaining crushed corn chips
*remaining beef mixture
*spread 2 cups cheese of your choice over mixture
*sprinkle green chiles on top (optional)
Bake in 350 degree oven for 20-30 minutes, until cheese is melted.
Can be served with sour cream (optional)
My family also enjoyed it as a dip using the chips to scoop it up rather than having them in the casserole.
Friday, January 16, 2009
He's in the Army Now!
Chad left Jan. 6th for Basic Training. The first week was mostly in-processing. The hard stuff was supposed to start this week. He only gets to call on Sundays. Part of me would love to be a fly on the wall when they are in his face about making his bed right, or folding his clothes properly.. or better yet.. waking him up at dawn wether he wants to get up or not! The other part of me wants to sit on his shoulder and keep buzzing in his ear.. You can do this. You can make it. Just one more push-up, just one more mile.. You can do this!
It is hard to know your little bird, who is far from little now, has long ago sprouted wings but has yet to fly. Then one day, out of the blue, he takes flight and is gone. As crowded as the nest may be, it is hard to know he feels the need to fly away. It is a good thing, a very good thing. It was long overdue. I am proud of him.
The two parts of me will always be at odds about his leaving, about his need to leave. Hopefully he will, once in a while, feel the need to fly home again on his way to wherever he is going with his life. It was a beautiful thing to watch him spread his wings, and know he has the strength to fly wherever the wind takes him.
It is hard to know your little bird, who is far from little now, has long ago sprouted wings but has yet to fly. Then one day, out of the blue, he takes flight and is gone. As crowded as the nest may be, it is hard to know he feels the need to fly away. It is a good thing, a very good thing. It was long overdue. I am proud of him.
The two parts of me will always be at odds about his leaving, about his need to leave. Hopefully he will, once in a while, feel the need to fly home again on his way to wherever he is going with his life. It was a beautiful thing to watch him spread his wings, and know he has the strength to fly wherever the wind takes him.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A wonderful weekend..
My friends, Terry & Terri, have both given me the gift of their time recently. It was great! Terry came up from where she lives in South Florida and visited for a few days. We celebrated her birthday and spent New Year's together. It was good to spend time with her and talk. Then this past Saturday night Terri & her hubby, Dwight, and Brian & I all went out on a "Date Night". We saw the new Clint Eastwood movie, Gran Torino (very good movie!), and then went to a pub for a drink and a bite to eat. Then we went to St. George Street and stopped at a place there for a nightcap. Brian & Terri played a bowling video game.. I think he won. It was great to get out with grown-ups! Brian & I were able to enjoy an empty house with just the two of us for the night thanks to Brianne & Justin keeping the kids for a sleepover.. thank you, thank you!
Then Sunday Terri & I spent the day together. We went to an arts and crafts festival and out to lunch. We caught up on everyone & everything. Enjoyed walking, talking, wine & coffee.
So Thank You Terry, Terri, Dwight, Brian, Bri & Justin, for a wonderful weekend!
Then Sunday Terri & I spent the day together. We went to an arts and crafts festival and out to lunch. We caught up on everyone & everything. Enjoyed walking, talking, wine & coffee.
So Thank You Terry, Terri, Dwight, Brian, Bri & Justin, for a wonderful weekend!
Alexa at Laurie's
There was a time when this little girl couldn't stand to get her hands dirty! I posted a couple pix sent to me by a friend who watches the kids sometimes. She has twin girl's about a year younger than Tristan & Alexa. Click on this pic to access the photo gallery to see them!
Do I "work"?
The time flys by and things happen, life happens and you don't know where it all went. I often think of when the older kids were little. I think about the kind of parent I was, how I handled things back then. I think about the choices we make in parenting and how even the smallest thing makes a difference in how we influence a child and what type of person they will become. I worry, as most parents do, if I make the right choices. We all know the definite right and wrongs. Yet there are so many little things that are so gray in color, it can be hard to know the "right" choice to make in parenting. I know I do not do things the way I did when the older kids were small. Life is different, it is a different time, I am different. But there are some things I do the same and feel strongly about that will not change. There is no rule book. There is no easy button. It doesn't matter how many children you raise, or have raised, they are all individuals and each have their own personalities. What works with one, may not work with another.
There is no perfect parent, and no perfect child. It is constantly a work in progress. I am still learning from them and learning with them. I have to remind myself sometimes that it is ok to make a choice others may not agree with. I am living this life, I am making the choices the best way I know how. No matter what you do or how you do it, there are days that being a parent will just plain suck. So you move forward and keep going and enjoy the good days when they come and appreciate that you have the ability to learn, to grow, to make a difference. Bad days are only as bad as you let them be. Dwell on it, or let it go. We can't go back and change it, so go forward and make changes as needed.
Everything in life is work. Marriage, parenting, family, jobs.. nothing is a cake walk. The rewards are as great as you let them be. There are times I see so much clearer what is good in my life. Other times it can be a bit foggy and harder to see. Grief can put blinders on you and limit your vision. It can block out so much light that everything becomes gray. It has been a long journey and there may still be times when the fog rolls in, but I refuse to let those blinders block my view.
Do I wish I could go back and erase the difficult times I had with Kierra? Or with any of my children? I can think I may have avoided that conflict/ confrontation, but I know there would have been another around the next corner. You can second guess yourself on every choice you have ever made.. and waste alot of time and energy. I will continue to make the choices I feel are right as a parent. I will not slack off on my convictions to avoid making a child unhappy or mad at me. They will get over it and so will I. Those unhappy moments will be slim compared to the happy ones. Again, I can dwell on them or let them go.
It is so important to have the support of the person parenting with you. A united front is so much stronger than standing divided. Kids are smart, and they know how to push your buttons and work any weakness in your defenses. Sounds like a tactical battle doesn't it? Well, sometimes, especially in the teen years, it can be. It helps to have someone on your side, who can balance you when you go off kilter, or when you are worn out from the emotional toll parenting can take form you.
I can be just as exhausted from a problem free, good day with the kids, as I can from a chaotic, problem ridden day. When even the simplest decision is more than I want to make. Having Brian there to take over or pick up the slack can really be a lifesaver for me. And for the kids too. It helps me look foward to the years ahead with more anticipation than hesitation. To look forward to the fun times, knowing I can handle it when it is not so fun to be a parent.
I am often asked the question.. "Do you work?" I usually say no, I stay at home with my children. But that isn't true. I have one of the hardest jobs on earth. It is a challenging job. A job worth having, worth sharing. It is a job I sometimes take for granted. A job with unlimited benefits. A job that even when I need a coffee break, I am ready, when it is over, to get back to it.
So with a smile, let me say.... Hi Ho, Hi Ho.. off to work I go!
There is no perfect parent, and no perfect child. It is constantly a work in progress. I am still learning from them and learning with them. I have to remind myself sometimes that it is ok to make a choice others may not agree with. I am living this life, I am making the choices the best way I know how. No matter what you do or how you do it, there are days that being a parent will just plain suck. So you move forward and keep going and enjoy the good days when they come and appreciate that you have the ability to learn, to grow, to make a difference. Bad days are only as bad as you let them be. Dwell on it, or let it go. We can't go back and change it, so go forward and make changes as needed.
Everything in life is work. Marriage, parenting, family, jobs.. nothing is a cake walk. The rewards are as great as you let them be. There are times I see so much clearer what is good in my life. Other times it can be a bit foggy and harder to see. Grief can put blinders on you and limit your vision. It can block out so much light that everything becomes gray. It has been a long journey and there may still be times when the fog rolls in, but I refuse to let those blinders block my view.
Do I wish I could go back and erase the difficult times I had with Kierra? Or with any of my children? I can think I may have avoided that conflict/ confrontation, but I know there would have been another around the next corner. You can second guess yourself on every choice you have ever made.. and waste alot of time and energy. I will continue to make the choices I feel are right as a parent. I will not slack off on my convictions to avoid making a child unhappy or mad at me. They will get over it and so will I. Those unhappy moments will be slim compared to the happy ones. Again, I can dwell on them or let them go.
It is so important to have the support of the person parenting with you. A united front is so much stronger than standing divided. Kids are smart, and they know how to push your buttons and work any weakness in your defenses. Sounds like a tactical battle doesn't it? Well, sometimes, especially in the teen years, it can be. It helps to have someone on your side, who can balance you when you go off kilter, or when you are worn out from the emotional toll parenting can take form you.
I can be just as exhausted from a problem free, good day with the kids, as I can from a chaotic, problem ridden day. When even the simplest decision is more than I want to make. Having Brian there to take over or pick up the slack can really be a lifesaver for me. And for the kids too. It helps me look foward to the years ahead with more anticipation than hesitation. To look forward to the fun times, knowing I can handle it when it is not so fun to be a parent.
I am often asked the question.. "Do you work?" I usually say no, I stay at home with my children. But that isn't true. I have one of the hardest jobs on earth. It is a challenging job. A job worth having, worth sharing. It is a job I sometimes take for granted. A job with unlimited benefits. A job that even when I need a coffee break, I am ready, when it is over, to get back to it.
So with a smile, let me say.... Hi Ho, Hi Ho.. off to work I go!
Saturday, January 03, 2009
De-Christmasing Day
I have almost de-Christmased the whole house! My tree is down and boxed. I have all the decorations in the front dining room and am working on putting them all away. My furniture is back in place and my mantel is back to normal as well. It looks so clean and stark with all that stuff gone! I left it up a few extra days because my friend Terry always visits for her birthday, 12/31, and we celebrate Christmas again with her. So officially the holidays are now OVER!!
The kids will all be back in school on Monday, which will be a happy day for all of us! Everyone is feeling good so I hope that means the sickness has left our house for good, well at least until the next virus or stomach bug decides to invade!
The kids will all be back in school on Monday, which will be a happy day for all of us! Everyone is feeling good so I hope that means the sickness has left our house for good, well at least until the next virus or stomach bug decides to invade!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Jan 2009
OK, I was asked to post a more recent pic, here it is. (wearing size 14/16) I am looking for a "before" pic, I am posting one in the photo gallery, (wearing size 20) but I have tended to not let my picture be taken very often, so I don't think this really shows how heavy I was. If you have a "before" pic of me please email it to me. Don't be kind, I want a true pic so I can finally see the difference!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
My Top 40 for 2008
1.) What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Lost 40 lbs
2.) Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No I did not, and I probably won’t.
3.) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Several people.. a very busy baby year!
4.) Did anyone close to you die?
Not close to me, but close to people I care about.
5.) What countries did you visit?
Bahamas, Honduras, Belize, Mexico (Cruise Oct. 2008)
6.) What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Better Financial stability and tolerance.
7.) What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Several, some happy, some sad, top of the list.. the week we spent on a cruise with my parents (and 2 of my sisters.) It was a once in a life time trip for them and memories that will last my lifetime.
8.) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Quitting soda and losing 40 lbs (and still going)
9.) What was your biggest failure?
What failure, I survived another year!
10.) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Some illness, nothing serious.
11.) What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets for a cruise.
12.) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Many to be proud of, you know who you are.
13.) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Many who should not be proud, and they know who they are!
14.) Where did most of your money go?
House, kids
15.) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Losing 40 lbs! (and all the emotional and health benefits that go with it!)
16.)What song will always remind you of 2008?
All those on the CD Brian made me for our 25th anniversary.
17.) Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier?
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
c) richer or poorer? Poorer
18.) What do you wish you'd done more of?
More time with my horses
19.) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasted time & energy on unimportant things.
20.) How did you spend Christmas?
With my husband and children/grandchildren at home, coddling a sick and feverish child, & cooking Christmas dinner.
23.) What was your favorite TV program?
Desperate Housewives? Didn’t really stick on one show, watched what I could when I could.
27.) What did you want and get?
The twins into preschool
28.) What did you want and not get?
The twins in the same preschool
30.) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I survived the day and I turned 45
31.) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
One thing? Satisfying? You asked for it.. more ---!
32.) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Comfy, easy, able to disguise multiple children’s dirty handprints!
33.) What kept you sane?
Horses, reading, Brian (not always in that order!)
38.) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Remember then, appreciate now, take one step forward at a time.
39.) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Bring on the rain (by Jodi Messina)
Another day has almost come and gone
Cant imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes Id like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (cause)
Its almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but Im not dead
Tomorrows another day
And Im thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
Im not gonna let it get me down
Im not gonna cry
And Im not gonna lose any sleep tonight
So bring on the rain
40.) Of all the influences, experiences you had in 2008, is there one that stands above the rest?
Marking my 25th wedding anniversary with my husband. For very personal reasons we did not celebrate it publicly, but will always share the precious memory of our wedding day. You're Still The One Brian!
Lost 40 lbs
2.) Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No I did not, and I probably won’t.
3.) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Several people.. a very busy baby year!
4.) Did anyone close to you die?
Not close to me, but close to people I care about.
5.) What countries did you visit?
Bahamas, Honduras, Belize, Mexico (Cruise Oct. 2008)
6.) What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Better Financial stability and tolerance.
7.) What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Several, some happy, some sad, top of the list.. the week we spent on a cruise with my parents (and 2 of my sisters.) It was a once in a life time trip for them and memories that will last my lifetime.
8.) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Quitting soda and losing 40 lbs (and still going)
9.) What was your biggest failure?
What failure, I survived another year!
10.) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Some illness, nothing serious.
11.) What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets for a cruise.
12.) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Many to be proud of, you know who you are.
13.) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Many who should not be proud, and they know who they are!
14.) Where did most of your money go?
House, kids
15.) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Losing 40 lbs! (and all the emotional and health benefits that go with it!)
16.)What song will always remind you of 2008?
All those on the CD Brian made me for our 25th anniversary.
17.) Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier?
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
c) richer or poorer? Poorer
18.) What do you wish you'd done more of?
More time with my horses
19.) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasted time & energy on unimportant things.
20.) How did you spend Christmas?
With my husband and children/grandchildren at home, coddling a sick and feverish child, & cooking Christmas dinner.
23.) What was your favorite TV program?
Desperate Housewives? Didn’t really stick on one show, watched what I could when I could.
27.) What did you want and get?
The twins into preschool
28.) What did you want and not get?
The twins in the same preschool
30.) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I survived the day and I turned 45
31.) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
One thing? Satisfying? You asked for it.. more ---!
32.) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Comfy, easy, able to disguise multiple children’s dirty handprints!
33.) What kept you sane?
Horses, reading, Brian (not always in that order!)
38.) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Remember then, appreciate now, take one step forward at a time.
39.) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Bring on the rain (by Jodi Messina)
Another day has almost come and gone
Cant imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes Id like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (cause)
Its almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but Im not dead
Tomorrows another day
And Im thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
Im not gonna let it get me down
Im not gonna cry
And Im not gonna lose any sleep tonight
So bring on the rain
40.) Of all the influences, experiences you had in 2008, is there one that stands above the rest?
Marking my 25th wedding anniversary with my husband. For very personal reasons we did not celebrate it publicly, but will always share the precious memory of our wedding day. You're Still The One Brian!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Written Word..
I recently had an email that wasn't supposed to be meant the way it was written. In the past few weeks I have had a text message that struck me the same way and I am hoping wasn't meant the way I took it either. The problem with the written word is the lack of communication. The communication of tone, of intention, of emotion. Sometimes there is too much emotion in the words that are written. No matter how the writer felt, the reader can't help but read it with their own emotions, whatever they are. And once on paper, you can't really take it back. It is there, in the eye of the reader, in their mind and memory in the manner they took it, wether you meant it that way or not.
How easy it is to spew forth with words of hurt, or anger. How easy to vent on whoever happens to read it. How easy to put down on paper something our conscience might hesitate to let come out of our mouth. How much easier to not be in audience as the words sink in and the reader shows the emotion caused by what you have written. How easy to be absent from the consequences of your words. An apology for something said seems to be easier to accept than one for something written and sent to someone.. via email or snail mail. Damage is done much deeper it seems when it is written. Wounds seem harder to heal.
I try to be careful of that here. There are things I have posted here and elsewhere that may seem harsh, but I wrote them willing to take responsibility for those words because they were how I felt, and my intent was clear. I did not and do not regret writing them. That is the choice we make when we write. To own what we put down, good, bad, or indifferent.
I have things saved from over 25 years ago. One I would like to think the writer regrets. I also have love letters from Brian, notes from my children (good & bad), journals I wrote in a different place and time. Watch what words you say, and write. Once out there they have a life of their own..
How easy it is to spew forth with words of hurt, or anger. How easy to vent on whoever happens to read it. How easy to put down on paper something our conscience might hesitate to let come out of our mouth. How much easier to not be in audience as the words sink in and the reader shows the emotion caused by what you have written. How easy to be absent from the consequences of your words. An apology for something said seems to be easier to accept than one for something written and sent to someone.. via email or snail mail. Damage is done much deeper it seems when it is written. Wounds seem harder to heal.
I try to be careful of that here. There are things I have posted here and elsewhere that may seem harsh, but I wrote them willing to take responsibility for those words because they were how I felt, and my intent was clear. I did not and do not regret writing them. That is the choice we make when we write. To own what we put down, good, bad, or indifferent.
I have things saved from over 25 years ago. One I would like to think the writer regrets. I also have love letters from Brian, notes from my children (good & bad), journals I wrote in a different place and time. Watch what words you say, and write. Once out there they have a life of their own..
Round Three
Well, Hunter is now throwing up. The upside is, (LOL) with this virus, that usually only lasts a couple hours. The fever is the part that won't let go. The twins seem to be on the mend. I am keeping everything disinfected and squeaky clean to hopefully prevent any further outbreaks! Can't think of a better way to spend the Holidays... NOT!
Christmas at the Shores'
Christmas Eve we had Terri, Dwight, Savannah, Jessie, Greta, & Randy over for an Italian dinner and to do the Christmas thing. It was fun. Brianne & Justin stayed over Christmas Eve and helped me wrap presents and put things together. I was just setting out the last Christmas stocking at Hunter's door when I heard that he was awake. I had to dash to my room and barely made it before he came in to say Santa had been here! That was at about 6:30 am. We tried to hold off on getting everyone else up but it didn't last long. With Alexa being sick it wasn't as chaotic as it would have been. She just sat in the chair with me and looked pathetic. The boys would bring her presents and she would say she couldn't open it, it was too big. Even her excited face was sad.
We had pancakes and sausage for breakfast. Since we had a turkey & ham for Thanksgiving we decided to do something different for Christmas. I fixed a standing rib roast, loaded mash potatoes, and fresh green beans with leeks and pine nuts. I had 7 layer cookie bars and pumpkin pie for dessert, but everyone filled up on everything else.
It was a good day. We got the kids a puppet theater to share. The Teddy Ruxpin we ordered never came in, but they had enough stuff to not even miss it. They all got Leapster 2 game systems, and clothes. The boys got Star Wars and Indiana Jones toys, Potato Heads, puzzles, books, and several other things. Alexa got princess dolls, fairies, and lots of girly stuff. It was scaled down alot from last year. Alexa's doll bed and pram stroller for her dolls was back ordered, so we may save them for her birthday if they come in by then.
It was a good day. We take those good moments when we can get them and appreciate every one. It seems easier to look back and remember. Not less painful, but I think I am getting used to and accepting the pain rather than fighting it. The remembering is painful, but pleasant as well, so I focus on the pleasant part and let the pain come. We are making new memories and want to enjoy these times and moments as well.
Hope you & yours had good moments and good memories. Hallalujah, the holidays are over!
We had pancakes and sausage for breakfast. Since we had a turkey & ham for Thanksgiving we decided to do something different for Christmas. I fixed a standing rib roast, loaded mash potatoes, and fresh green beans with leeks and pine nuts. I had 7 layer cookie bars and pumpkin pie for dessert, but everyone filled up on everything else.
It was a good day. We got the kids a puppet theater to share. The Teddy Ruxpin we ordered never came in, but they had enough stuff to not even miss it. They all got Leapster 2 game systems, and clothes. The boys got Star Wars and Indiana Jones toys, Potato Heads, puzzles, books, and several other things. Alexa got princess dolls, fairies, and lots of girly stuff. It was scaled down alot from last year. Alexa's doll bed and pram stroller for her dolls was back ordered, so we may save them for her birthday if they come in by then.
It was a good day. We take those good moments when we can get them and appreciate every one. It seems easier to look back and remember. Not less painful, but I think I am getting used to and accepting the pain rather than fighting it. The remembering is painful, but pleasant as well, so I focus on the pleasant part and let the pain come. We are making new memories and want to enjoy these times and moments as well.
Hope you & yours had good moments and good memories. Hallalujah, the holidays are over!
Sick & sleeping Christmas Day
Tristan was sick the week before, and then Alexa woke up with a fever Christmas morning. This virus seems to run 4-5 days and the fever is stubborn. Brian & I spent yesterday stripping all the beds, washing all pillows and blankets and disinfecting the whole house. Brian has been sick with a cold and Hunter has started what seems to be a cold as well. We were supposed to go to Greta & Randy's for a family Christmas/ Birthday get together yesterday and to Disney with my sister, Robyn, & her grandkids today & tomorrow. But with everyone sick it just wasn't happening. I had a dizzy spell in the early hours of Friday morning when I was in the kitchen getting Alexa some medicine. I passed out and hit my head on the floor. I thought it might be the virus the kids have had, but other than a headache I was fine and haven't felt sick or had any other symptoms. My blood pressure and sugar levels have been running low, so that was probably it. We are using alot of lysol & antibacterial gel!
They have been so sick and miserable they are just now getting to enjoy their toys. We have been taking it easy and sticking close to home. At least they were out of school anyway and didn 't have to miss any days other than Tristan missing the last day before the holiday break.
They have been so sick and miserable they are just now getting to enjoy their toys. We have been taking it easy and sticking close to home. At least they were out of school anyway and didn 't have to miss any days other than Tristan missing the last day before the holiday break.
Bri & Justin
This was at Bri's company Christmas party. I have posted more pix on the photo gallery, click on any pic to get there and enjoy!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Hunter's 8 years old!
Our baby boy turned 8 today. Note the wrapped left arm.. it is a hard splint to protect what they think is a cracked growth plate in his wrist. He fell off a bunk bed ladder and landed on his hand while at his Nana's house yesterday morning. He failed to tell her about it because he didn't want to have to leave. Later at home he went to do something and said he couldn't because his hand hurt. Off we went to the ER and he sees his orthopedic specialist on Friday. In the mean time we have to keep him down to a dull roar since he has a very high pain threshold and could make it worse if he reinjured it before they hard cast it. Never a dull moment!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Something to talk about..
When the kids hung ornaments the other night Hunter wanted to hang one of Kierra when she was about a year old. The twins asked who the baby was and Hunter told them it was their Mommy Kierra. That seemed to satisfy them and they finished hanging the other ornaments.
Later I caught the tail end of a conversation between Hunter & Alexa. The part I heard was Alexa asking him "Will Mommy die driving her car?" He quickly told her "No, God wouldn't take both your Mommies away." She accepted that and they moved on to look at another ornament.
I debated bringing it back up, then decided to wait. I asked Hunter about it when I was tucking him in. He said Alexa had asked him where Mommy Kierra was and he told her she was in Heaven. She asked if that was far away. When he told her yes, she asked how she got there. He told her she died and when Alexa asked how she died Hunter told her she died in a car crash when she was driving her car to work one day. That is when I caught the end of the conversation. Hunter asked me if it was wrong to tell her. I told him no, I just wondered if she was old enough to understand. We agreed if it comes up again we will all talk about it together. I thanked him for reassuring her and for being such a great big brother.
I have thought countless times what it would be like to tell them. I wondered when would be the right time. I didn't think of it being part of a simple conversation between 2 children. I forgot how matter of fact Hunter can be, and that I always tell him to be honest. I think he handled it very well. I hope I can handle it as well when they start asking me questions about it.
Later I caught the tail end of a conversation between Hunter & Alexa. The part I heard was Alexa asking him "Will Mommy die driving her car?" He quickly told her "No, God wouldn't take both your Mommies away." She accepted that and they moved on to look at another ornament.
I debated bringing it back up, then decided to wait. I asked Hunter about it when I was tucking him in. He said Alexa had asked him where Mommy Kierra was and he told her she was in Heaven. She asked if that was far away. When he told her yes, she asked how she got there. He told her she died and when Alexa asked how she died Hunter told her she died in a car crash when she was driving her car to work one day. That is when I caught the end of the conversation. Hunter asked me if it was wrong to tell her. I told him no, I just wondered if she was old enough to understand. We agreed if it comes up again we will all talk about it together. I thanked him for reassuring her and for being such a great big brother.
I have thought countless times what it would be like to tell them. I wondered when would be the right time. I didn't think of it being part of a simple conversation between 2 children. I forgot how matter of fact Hunter can be, and that I always tell him to be honest. I think he handled it very well. I hope I can handle it as well when they start asking me questions about it.
All I Want for Christmas..
I have been asked several times what I want for Christmas. Honestly, truly, I do not want anything. I know like us, many people are on a tighter budget this year. What I would really like is the gift of your time. I don't want much, or even immediate use of your time. But maybe give me a call and let's meet for coffee, or lunch, or a walk in the park. Let me know if you have a day when you can go to the barn with me, or go kayaking. Maybe go to a movie. I really miss spending time with the people I care about. We all get busy, I am the first in line to claim being guilty of being too busy sometimes. But I will commit to making time for you if you make the commitment too, okay? You don't have to wrap it, or fuss with a bow.. see how easy it is?
Alexa 12.18.08
She was all dressed up for her Christmas show at school, click on this pic and go see the other pix in the gallery. She was a Christmas present for the show. You should have heard them singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer", "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth", "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer", and my favorite, "Hooves, Belly, Antlers, Nose", which was a version of "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" that I had not heard before! She practiced hard and was so excited. Yes, I got it on video!
Tristan & the North Pole, AKA Puking & other tidbits..
I think I am almost done with all the Christmas decorations. I have added some snowflakes outside and have hung some large ornaments in the archways inside the house. The only thing left to do is finish putting the ornaments on the tree. The kids did some of them, but there is more to do. At night when the lights are on it looks great, but in the light of day it looks like an oversized version of the Charlie Brown tree!
Tristan walks around and thanks me for all the decorations almost every day. He and Alexa would also point out (before it was up) they couldn't thank me for the tree because it wasn't up yet! They can be too smart sometimes. We put together a box to send to Alex in Iraq and we put in some candy that was called reindeer food. Tristan said maybe it would help him fly home fast like the reindeer can fly with Santa. Alexa looked at him so seriously and told him it would have to be flying camels, because they didn't have reindeer where he was, just camels!
We also put together a box for their new little sister, Hayven. Alex told us when he called last week that he & Dawn had a baby girl in September. I reassured him that it was great news and I would get Tristan & Alexa big brother and big sister shirts and take pictures for him. I think he forgets we are such an extended blended family already, what's one more?! I imagine that makes it all the more difficult for him to be deployed again. I have the shirts, just have to take the pix. I will post Hayven's picture soon.
Tristan has been running a high fever since yesterday morning. They rarely run fevers. To the extent that I had to dig up the 2 thermometers we had and both had dead batteries. I had to run to the store to get a new one. He threw up some yesterday afternoon, but that stopped last night. Now he has a fever rash in his groin area. He seems to be feeling better, but that fever is hanging on.
Greta was having Hunter over for a sleepover tonight and ended up taking Alexa too. She asked Hunter if he minded sharing his night and he said Alexa could go. She had gotten very upset that he was going without her. I thought Tristan would be upset at being left home alone, but he wasn't bothered at all. Now you know he is sick!
So I am baking 7 layer bars, and trying to get the motivation to finish the tree. The breakable ornaments are going higher on the tree and I guess that is my job. This may all be done just in time to take it all down and put it away again! The kids love it and that is what counts. Personally, I think it looks like the North Pole puked all over the house!
Tristan walks around and thanks me for all the decorations almost every day. He and Alexa would also point out (before it was up) they couldn't thank me for the tree because it wasn't up yet! They can be too smart sometimes. We put together a box to send to Alex in Iraq and we put in some candy that was called reindeer food. Tristan said maybe it would help him fly home fast like the reindeer can fly with Santa. Alexa looked at him so seriously and told him it would have to be flying camels, because they didn't have reindeer where he was, just camels!
We also put together a box for their new little sister, Hayven. Alex told us when he called last week that he & Dawn had a baby girl in September. I reassured him that it was great news and I would get Tristan & Alexa big brother and big sister shirts and take pictures for him. I think he forgets we are such an extended blended family already, what's one more?! I imagine that makes it all the more difficult for him to be deployed again. I have the shirts, just have to take the pix. I will post Hayven's picture soon.
Tristan has been running a high fever since yesterday morning. They rarely run fevers. To the extent that I had to dig up the 2 thermometers we had and both had dead batteries. I had to run to the store to get a new one. He threw up some yesterday afternoon, but that stopped last night. Now he has a fever rash in his groin area. He seems to be feeling better, but that fever is hanging on.
Greta was having Hunter over for a sleepover tonight and ended up taking Alexa too. She asked Hunter if he minded sharing his night and he said Alexa could go. She had gotten very upset that he was going without her. I thought Tristan would be upset at being left home alone, but he wasn't bothered at all. Now you know he is sick!
So I am baking 7 layer bars, and trying to get the motivation to finish the tree. The breakable ornaments are going higher on the tree and I guess that is my job. This may all be done just in time to take it all down and put it away again! The kids love it and that is what counts. Personally, I think it looks like the North Pole puked all over the house!
Right in Front of Me..
Songs play on the radio,
Images flash on the TV,
Everywhere I turn, it seems,
You're right in front of me.
----------------------------------
I can hope there will come a time
when this all gets easier to do,
yet deep inside my heart I know,
I'll never get over losing you.
---------------------------------
Some say you are in a better place,
that doesn't ring true for me.
Better than here with your babies
is something I just can't see.
----------------------------------
We can't go back, this I know.
We can't undo what has been done.
So we try our best to nurture
the lives you'd just begun.
----------------------------------
They smile your smile
and it's so easy to see,
every time I look at them
you're right in front of me..
----------------------------
mjs started 11.3.08
finished 12.18.08
Images flash on the TV,
Everywhere I turn, it seems,
You're right in front of me.
----------------------------------
I can hope there will come a time
when this all gets easier to do,
yet deep inside my heart I know,
I'll never get over losing you.
---------------------------------
Some say you are in a better place,
that doesn't ring true for me.
Better than here with your babies
is something I just can't see.
----------------------------------
We can't go back, this I know.
We can't undo what has been done.
So we try our best to nurture
the lives you'd just begun.
----------------------------------
They smile your smile
and it's so easy to see,
every time I look at them
you're right in front of me..
----------------------------
mjs started 11.3.08
finished 12.18.08
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Hunter & Bri on Lenny 12.14.08
We went to a pot luck lunch at the barn and got to take the kids on a ride. I rode Tortuga, but I think all the people and noise were too much for her... me too! Click on this pic to see Tristan and Alexa on Lenny too. I'm always adding new pix to the photo gallery!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Kid's Movie List Update
Here is the movie list, if it is crossed through, someone has committed to getting it for them. I figure this way they don't get more toys they don't need! If you see something you want to get them, or have gotten them, please just comment on here and I will update it. Thanks!
Tinkerbell
Kung Fu Panda
Space Chimps
Horton Hears a Who
Narnia- Prince Caspian
Veggie Tales, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Rattatoiulle
Star Wars Clone Wars
Polar Express 3D version
Tinkerbell
Space Chimps
Horton Hears a Who
Narnia- Prince Caspian
Veggie Tales, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Rattatoiulle
Star Wars Clone Wars
Polar Express 3D version
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Where Are You Christmas?
I have been trying to get all the Christmas decorations up. I am not feeling the whole Christmas spirit no matter how many decorations I drag out and hang all over the place. I do it for the kids, and they really enjoy it, so I wll keep doing it! I heard this song on the radio and it sounded alot like how I feel. I am still working on finding it, so bear with me if I am a little Grinchy!
Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go
Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go
Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love
Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Craziness..
Okay, let me explain this photo. I was not going to post this picture because it is not what I consider a good picture of them. My sister, however, said I have to post it because it is so them and shows what craziness I deal with everyday. Alexa had already taken her pix and the ones with Tristan. She was so done and refused to smile. Hunter had waited patiently while the other pix were taken and made the most of finally being in the limelight. And Tristan was bored with the whole thing and just along for the ride! Now realize that this was the BEST shot out of four taken!!
Thanks..
I figure it was a sign when I took a break from filling out my Christmas cards and checked my email. I received an email about this website set up by Xerox to say Thank You to our soldiers who are away from home for the Holidays. This seems like a more direct way to send them than the other option I posted. So take a moment to go to the site and say Thanks. And for those who do.. Thank You!
www.LetsSayThanks.com
www.LetsSayThanks.com
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Thing 1 & Thing 2
Alexa's Pre-school took these when they did Alexa's school pictures last month. I love this one. There was one of Hunter with them, but by that point Alexa was mad and both boys stuck their tongues out, NOT a good picture! I have posted Alexa's pictures in the photo gallery, they turned out really good as usual with her. Tristan's school picture wasn't good, he looked totally bored and uninterested. I should get Hunter's today. I will send some out with Christmas cards. I think Hunter's is just a proof so we have to order them. I am not sure if we will get them in time to send them as well, or if I will have to send them seperately.. I guess you will see when you get your Christmas cards!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Kid's Movie List
Here are the movies I have intentionally NOT gotten for the kids, so if you feel you must get them something, comment on here what movie you are getting them so everyone else can know what is left, They REALLY don't need more toys, I still have some unopened from last year in their closets! Or a Sear's gift card since Alexa is now wearing size 5 slim, and Hunter outgrew his 6 slims in a matter of weeks and now needs 6 Reg. Which means of course Tristan won't be far behind Alexa with his next growth spurt! There isn't really much else they need that we don't get as they need it.
Tinkerbell
Kung Fu Panda
Space Chimps
Horton Hears a Who
Narnia- Prince Caspian
Veggie Tales, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Rattatoiulle
Star Wars Clone Wars
Polar Express 3D version
Tinkerbell
Space Chimps
Horton Hears a Who
Narnia- Prince Caspian
Veggie Tales, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Rattatoiulle
Star Wars Clone Wars
Polar Express 3D version
Surfing the waves..
I have had such mixed emotions about the 13th of November, the 3rd anniversary of Kierra's death. I have not really posted much about it because it is a bit complicated to explain and I am not so sure how best to do that. Words on paper are mostly void of emotion, or perceived differently depending on the emotions of the reader. Although my emotions may be similar to yours, it is hard sometimes to convey them.
I did not go to the site of her accident this year. Brian put flowers there. I drive by it, but have not stopped there in a while. I don't think I intentionally avoid it, I just don't make a point of going there. I think of her and "see" her in so many other places, on so many other days than the day she died. I am not sure what meaning I want to give to that specific spot, so for now I give it none.
I also mentioned to a friend that I resented that day this year, but not just because of her death, I resent that every hour of every day. It has seemed as though, on most other days, people tend to tell me to not dwell on it, to try to move forward and not let it drag me down. To find a place to set my grief aside so I can enjoy my children, my friends, my life. I do try to do that. Yet on that day, the "anniversary" of her death, it is expected, almost encouraged, for me to give in to it. It is expected for me to be inconsolable and best left alone. Like one day is all I need to purge my sytem, to heal my heart. I know that is not how it is meant, but for some reason, that is how it felt. I am a control freak, yes, I know. So, to not have control of how I feel can be quite frustrating.
I have waves of emotion (as Nancy has described it for me) and I am not a good surfer! I had a hard time the day I had events at Tristan & Alexa's schools for Thanksgiving. I could not stop myself from crying when I was on my way to Tristan's Rodeo. I wanted her to be going, I wanted her to be the one they called Mommy and ran to when she walked in the door. I wanted her to be the one they showed off proudly to their classmates. I let it out and got through it with smiles for them, but it was hard. I did not expect the onslaught of emotion and could not stop it until my tears had run out.
Brian & I were heading to the movies to meet all the kids yesterday afternoon. We had a great day together. When we got in the truck a song by Gloria Estefan came on about "Until I had You, I didn't know I was missing out" I think it is "Christmas through your eyes" about her daughter. We both had to change the station and we talked about some of the hardest parts of missing her. It was like being hit by a 2X4. It knocks the breath out of you. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, we are powerless to stop it.
So I don't know how we will handle the rest of the Holidays. Of course we will celebrate and do things for the kids. They deserve to be happy and enjoy the whole Christmas thing. We will keep riding the waves and do our best to quickly reach the surface when one takes us under. We are becoming stronger swimmers, and someday I may be able to ride the waves and stay on the board. For now I have learned to just hold my breath and swim like hell!
I did not go to the site of her accident this year. Brian put flowers there. I drive by it, but have not stopped there in a while. I don't think I intentionally avoid it, I just don't make a point of going there. I think of her and "see" her in so many other places, on so many other days than the day she died. I am not sure what meaning I want to give to that specific spot, so for now I give it none.
I also mentioned to a friend that I resented that day this year, but not just because of her death, I resent that every hour of every day. It has seemed as though, on most other days, people tend to tell me to not dwell on it, to try to move forward and not let it drag me down. To find a place to set my grief aside so I can enjoy my children, my friends, my life. I do try to do that. Yet on that day, the "anniversary" of her death, it is expected, almost encouraged, for me to give in to it. It is expected for me to be inconsolable and best left alone. Like one day is all I need to purge my sytem, to heal my heart. I know that is not how it is meant, but for some reason, that is how it felt. I am a control freak, yes, I know. So, to not have control of how I feel can be quite frustrating.
I have waves of emotion (as Nancy has described it for me) and I am not a good surfer! I had a hard time the day I had events at Tristan & Alexa's schools for Thanksgiving. I could not stop myself from crying when I was on my way to Tristan's Rodeo. I wanted her to be going, I wanted her to be the one they called Mommy and ran to when she walked in the door. I wanted her to be the one they showed off proudly to their classmates. I let it out and got through it with smiles for them, but it was hard. I did not expect the onslaught of emotion and could not stop it until my tears had run out.
Brian & I were heading to the movies to meet all the kids yesterday afternoon. We had a great day together. When we got in the truck a song by Gloria Estefan came on about "Until I had You, I didn't know I was missing out" I think it is "Christmas through your eyes" about her daughter. We both had to change the station and we talked about some of the hardest parts of missing her. It was like being hit by a 2X4. It knocks the breath out of you. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, we are powerless to stop it.
So I don't know how we will handle the rest of the Holidays. Of course we will celebrate and do things for the kids. They deserve to be happy and enjoy the whole Christmas thing. We will keep riding the waves and do our best to quickly reach the surface when one takes us under. We are becoming stronger swimmers, and someday I may be able to ride the waves and stay on the board. For now I have learned to just hold my breath and swim like hell!
Thanksgiving Lunch 11.25.08
This is Alexa with her Turkey Hat on. I didn't have other pics of her to post because they all had her classmates in them and I am not comfortable posting pics of them without their parent's permission. They put on a little show and we all had lunch together. Tristan had his rodeo right before this so I had a busy morning!
YeeHaw!
Tristan had a rodeo at Pre-K before Thanksgiving. He had so much fun and wore those cowboy boots for days! There are a couple pics in the photo gallery so click on this pic and go check them out. He is doing well in school. He & Hunter just started riding the school bus. They love it. I was not so sure about it, but they are the last stop before the school in the morning and the first drop off in the afternoon, so they are only on the bus for 5 minutes. Tristan has to wear a harness seat belt and they sit up front, so I am okay with it so far. It's funny what a big deal it is for me, but they could care less.
Happenings and Hugs
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, emotionally and physically. On the anniversary of Kierra's death, Randy's Dad passed away. He hadn't been doing well, but that doesn't make the grief any less, or the added weight of that loss any easier to bear for them, especially with all they have gone through.
On the 14th, our Jezell gave birth to our Peurto-rican grandbaby, Michael, after many, many hours of labor. She thought he would be born the 13th, but I told her he held out to have his own day! Both are healthy and happy.
Then Brian's Mom came to visit for the week of Thanksgiving. It was a handful with her and the kids to care for. She isn't as mobile as she used to be and needs more help with things. She also isn't used to being around small children and they aren't used to sharing me with anyone else. They all managed and I think she had a good visit. She went home Saturday. Brian and I took the kids to the zoo that afternoon and then thanks to Brianne & Justin, he & I spent most of the day alone on Sunday and then met them all to see Bolt in the afternoon. It is a very funny movie. We all enjoyed it and still laugh when one of us quotes the hamster, Rhino!
So things are headed back to normal just in time to be thrown into chaos again with the Christmas Holidays. I haven't put out any decorations yet. I will have to get motivated in the next week or two. I got some Thanksgiving cards sent out and am waiting for the kid's school pictures to send out the Christmas cards. They should be in this week.
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Enjoy the Holidays and hug each other for me!
On the 14th, our Jezell gave birth to our Peurto-rican grandbaby, Michael, after many, many hours of labor. She thought he would be born the 13th, but I told her he held out to have his own day! Both are healthy and happy.
Then Brian's Mom came to visit for the week of Thanksgiving. It was a handful with her and the kids to care for. She isn't as mobile as she used to be and needs more help with things. She also isn't used to being around small children and they aren't used to sharing me with anyone else. They all managed and I think she had a good visit. She went home Saturday. Brian and I took the kids to the zoo that afternoon and then thanks to Brianne & Justin, he & I spent most of the day alone on Sunday and then met them all to see Bolt in the afternoon. It is a very funny movie. We all enjoyed it and still laugh when one of us quotes the hamster, Rhino!
So things are headed back to normal just in time to be thrown into chaos again with the Christmas Holidays. I haven't put out any decorations yet. I will have to get motivated in the next week or two. I got some Thanksgiving cards sent out and am waiting for the kid's school pictures to send out the Christmas cards. They should be in this week.
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Enjoy the Holidays and hug each other for me!
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