I've become a Beggar!

Hunter's school is having a Spring BBQ & Auction in April. I have been soliciting businesses for donations of services, merchandise, or gift certificates. I have about 25 I have been working with. I don't want to hound them, but I want to get it done and know what we will have for the auction. There are 800 students at the school, but they have the hardest time getting anyone to volunteer or help with any of the events they do. It drives me crazy. I don't have much free time, but I feel like it is part of parenting to be involved and help better the school that my children attend. You would think local businesses would want to be part of the community as well and have their name put out there as contributing to the welfare of our kids. It can be frustrating to get so little response from both sides. But I will keep trying, like a dog with a bone, I won't give up or give in. So a begging I will go.. Hi Ho Hi Ho!

Clothing Optional?

Lately Tristan has preferred to run around the house in just his underwear. When we come home from going somehwere he strips within minutes of coming through the door. I will tell him to get dressed in the morning and he wants to know where we are going. If I tell him we aren't going anywhere, then he says he doesn't want to get dressed. I guess I could make him put on clothes, but seriously, why? Is it a battle I really need to fight? He has his blanket if he gets cold, and he knows he has to get dressed if he wants to go play outside. Alexa is usually the opposite. She gets up and wants her clean underwear and clothes as soon as she has her milk and is fully awake. In the grand scheme of things it isn't a big deal to me. So I suppose you could consider our house clothing optional.. if you are 4 years old anyway! Otherwise.. please dress accordingly!

End of a long day!

End of a long day! 3.23.08
Originally uploaded by mommanana

The end of two long days actually. Yesterday we went to the Fraternal Order of Police Easter party. Sounds like a big deal doesn't it? Well, it really isn't. They have burgers & hot dogs, chips, soda & popcorn for everyone. That would be great if the burgers were at least warm. They have one bouncy castle and one mini basketball hoop game to occupy a couple hundred kids. They got an odd looking bunny bag, sort of a Christmas stocking made to look like a bunny. They got a bag of candy with it, so when they did the egg hunt, the eggs were empty. The goal was to find the one egg with a prize ticket inside. The kids didn't think the empty eggs were so great and were disappointed that the lines for the bouncy castle were too long, so we left and went to the movies to see "Horton Hears a Who". They really enjoyed that. Then we came home and dyed Easter Eggs. By the time that was done I was beat! Brianne spent the day with us too along with a little girl she watches who is 2 years old. I don't think I have ever spent an Easter away from my children. I can't count all the dyed eggs I've helped them with over all these years. Those poor chickens! Dyed eggs today, deviled eggs tomorrow!
We had some friends & Family over for Easter Dinner. We did an egg hunt (with candy in the eggs) after we ate. It was nice to be surrounded by love & laughter today. Now the kids are watching the movie "Enchanted" with Brenda. Things are winding down. It's the end of a long day, I think I will snuggle up in a blanket too!

Easter 3.23.08

Easter 3.23.08
Originally uploaded by mommanana

There are lots of new pix in the photo gallery, so click on this pic and go take a look, I will blog later when things slow down!

Freaked Out by a Field Mouse

I can see the headline now.. "A local woman lost her mind today after being freaked out by a field mouse in her garage!" It was small compared to our guinea pig, which does not freak me out at all. And I have had hamsters and not been freaked out either. So what is it about this little mouse that I have heebie-jeebies just thinking about going back out to the garage? You know where there is one, there are bound to be others.. have you seen the movie Ratattouille? I had planned to clear it out over the next week. I have new storage sheds in the back yard to help make room. Now it is imperative it be done asap, and I am on my way to the store to buy glue traps. I may not want them in my garage, but I do not want them killed either.
It reminded me of a time, almost 25 years ago, when Brian, Kierra & I were moving into a new house. It had been empty awhile. I was cleaning and painting before we moved in. I had cooked a weight watchers ziti dinner and had set it on the stove top to cool off. I had it near the front edge of the stove. I was in the next room when I heard a strange sound from the kitchen. I walked in just in time to see my ziti on the floor and a small field mouse perched on my stove with sauce on his front paws. He scampered away leaving little sauce prints on my stove. I was freaked out then too and pretty upset that my lunch was ruined. We had to use the old fashion traps and caught more than one.
I am not looking forward to the evacuation of our garage tenant and whatever buddies he has with him. The only evidence he was there was just in the one box I found him in. I haven't seen anything else. I guess I can thank the preserve right next to our house for this new adventure. A neighbor had mentioned snakes coming & going, which I have not seen much of, but no one has warned me about mice! Maybe I can find a snake and let it come in and clear my mouse problem.. strange to think I am less worried about a snake than a mouse! Ugh!

Hugs..

Nancy & her guy, Mike, floated on feathers yesterday. I won't go into detail, just click on her link to the right side of my blog page "Nancy's" and read all about it. Wether it was Angel's wings, or Faerie wings.. they were carried through it. My sympathies go out to those who were not so fortunate in this terrible series of accidents. Have you hugged someone today?

Luck O' the Irish/ Happy St. Patty's Day

Do you think, in the days of old,
they chased after the "pot of gold"?
Did they believe, as some still do
Leprechauns dance unseen by you?
___________________________
Luck o' the Irish, send some my way
my luck isn't better than any other day!
I'll kiss a stone, I'll dance a jig
I'll even roast the fatted pig!
___________________________________
With corn beef & cabbage we'll have to make do
til some other day our wishes come true.
A hungry man's treasure some say that may be,
but it doesn't match chasing rainbows for me!
_____________________________
Chase me a rainbow to the other end,
eye the pot those "little people" tend.
A true Darby O'Gill I'll finally be,
and at last the Leprechaun I'll see!
___________
mjs 3-17-08

Buying in Bulk..

Okay, so did you notice it's 4:30 in the morning?? I slept on the couch a few hours, then cleaned the kitchen and am trying to get motivated enough to finish putting away groceries. Why do I have groceries to put away at this ungodly hour? Because Brian & I spent a couple hours together yesterday at Sam's Club. (That is as close as we get to a "date"!) Granted we won't have to go again for a couple months, but putting all this stuff away is daunting! I got all the frozen & refrigerated stuff put up right away. And then I ran out of steam! I have a busy day today, so it is a now, or not til tomorrow, kind of thing. I think I will grab a cup of coffee and let the caffiene decide!

Almost..

I laughed today, traitor that I am, shunning the parasitic ghost that is my grief. It has hung around me alot lately, never far, reminding me it's there. A bubble of joy will escape me, and I look quickly to see who noticed, while that elf called guilt skips around me so I won't forget. The dragonflies and fairies chase him away, sprinkling hope and light in their midst. They help clear a path through the darkness that tries to encompass me. I am not meant to hover in this moment. I feel little wings fluttering me forward, into the light. The breeze they create whispers in my ear, brushes a kiss accross my cheek. I can almost see the sun..

Loving & Liking are not the same!

Do you ever have days when you don't "like" the ones you love? If you are saying "no, not me, I like and love everyone all the time"... Liar, Liar, pants on fire!
Hunter was up at the butt crack of dawn this morning after spending an awesome day at Seaworld yesterday with Terri, Savannah, & Jess. He was supposed to go with me to Disney tomorrow to see a family friend from Nebraska who is performing there. He will not be going. He must have been bored this morning so he got into my tool drawer in the kitchen. I had just gotten a new cutter that folds up like a pocket knife. It has a safety latch and a case to put it in. He managed to figure it all out and proceeded to slice up the back of our couch! There is a nice gaping square in the middle of the back and several slices. After the fear receded that he could have cut himself, the outright anger that he had damaged something so blatantly filled in fast. We talked about how dangerous that knife was and we talked about why he would do that. Of course his answer was "I don't know." Then it was because he thought there were some toys inside the couch, and he wanted to get them out. Good enough reason for a 7 year old, but not good enough for me not to be mad about it! So he is not going to Disney. He will be lucky to come out of his room before he's 30! I am off to find my invisible thread and am hoping a loop stitch will help repair the damage. Our couch sits away from the wall, with the back in full view.. I can't think of many other ways to arrange it with the open set up we have. I Love him, I Love him, I Love him.... but right now I don't like him at all!!

Numbers

This is post #622! And there are 431 photos in my photo gallery! How crazy is that?!

The Same?

Is today just like any other day?
Is today just like yesterday?
So much the same, not much has changed.
So much the same, just rearranged.
__________________________
Yet nothing’s the same, or is it?
Is this my life, or just a visit..
to another world that seems like mine
But in this one things are far from “fine”
_____________________________
The truth lies beneath what can be seen
In another place most have never been.
It isn't a world of our own making,
It isn’t a trip I'd recommend taking.
_______________________________
We do what we can with what we are dealt,
Trying not to show what is so often felt.
Each of us puts on our happy faces,
Making the motions and going places.
_____________________________
Is today just like any other day?
Is today just like yesterday?
Nothing is the same, just rearranged,
Nothing is the same, everything's changed.
_____________________________
MJS started 1.27.07 finished 3.14.08

I Wonder..

What would you be doing today?
What things would you have to say?
Where would you have taken your life?
Would you today, be someone's wife?
______________________________________
Time keeps running, like these questions in my mind.
Yet your smiling face, for me, is still frozen in time.
There are no answers given to me,
about what you'd do, or who you'd be.
_________________________________
Just the silence where your voice used to be
telling your hopes and dreams to me..
__________
mjs 3.8.08

Poop, Pee, or Parmesan Cheese..

Which smells worse when hidden in a room for even a short amount of time? Or what would the impact be if they were combined? That was the smell I came home to yesterday after I volunteered at Hunter's school. It was in Alexa's room and it was foul! Of course, the bodily waste was Tristan's. I am not sure if the parmesan cheese was added to cover it up, or just for fun. I made them clean it up. Then got the rest with the vaccum cleaner. My vote goes for the parmesan. It gets stronger as it sits and the smell lingers longer even after it's cleaned up! I am not sure I will be able to put it on my pasta for quite a long time! Scarier than the smell.. Chad didn't smell it!

She's a Charmer!

I spent most of Monday traipsing around St. Augustine getting donations for an upcoming auction at Hunter's school. I had Alexa with me since we went after her speech therapy. She was quite the charmer. She said hello to everyone and when we went into a store or restaurant she would tell them.. "I like you store/place" I don't know where she picked that up from, but she was quite the schmoozer. I do believe it helped get us alot of the donations!

Let me count the ways..

http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/030908/woo_255201236.shtml

This is the link to a story that ran in Sunday's newspaper. A really good article about the man I love, and one of the reasons I love him so much. Kudos to him, and a nod to the reporter who did the interview and "got it".

Lenny 3 9 08

Lenny 3 9 08
Originally uploaded by mommanana

Another New Addition.. you see, horses are like potato chips.. you can't have just one! Or two! I will post better pix soon, I just caught him on his way out to the pasture. There is a good one of Bri and Hunter on Lenny in the photo gallery.. page 4 I think.

Horses lend us the wings we lack to fly.. John Trotwood Moore

Signs..

Not everyone believes in signs.. and some people believe every rush of wind is one. I am somewhere in the middle. I can tell you not everything is a coincidence. Even before Kierra's death I had occasion to believe people I loved who had died found ways to let me know they were with me.
Anywho.. I won't list Chad's car tag here.. and I did not notice it when it came in the mail. Chad put it on his car right away, and then Monday morning I was pulling out to take Hunter to school and glanced over.. The numbers are Kierra's birth month & year.. the letters are KLE.. her middle name is Lee. No matter how you think.. that is just wild! I consider it a cool thing for Chad to have with him when he drives. Coincidence or not.

You Stand by Rascal Flatts

(This song played no less than 10 times on different radio stations throughout my day yesterday. It became my mantra!)

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend 'til you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe you hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out

The edge of a canyon with only one way down

Take what your given before it's gone

And start holdin' on, keep holdin' on

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend 'til you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe you hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand

Every time you get up and get back in the race

One more small piece of you starts to fall into place - yeah

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend 'til you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe you hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand

Yeah then you stand - yeah

Yeah, babyWoo hoo, Woo hoo, Woo hoo

Then you stand - yeah, yeah

Over & Over again..

Cause it’s all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it No
Over and over again...

What's News...

There was an article in the paper yesterday that really stirred up alot of emotion for me. I know Kierra's death is great media fodder. I know it will be talked about whenever road rage comes up. I get so upset because they quote people's opinions instead of facts, so once again they gave wrong information, which pretty much blamed Kie for her own death, etc. Then they showed a pic of Brian and I with "our van that we made into a memorial for our daughter." They showed a pic of the back corner of the window on the van which shows a fairie with Kierra's name and dates. They did not show or mention the "citizensagainstroadrage.com" that is on both sides of the van, or the "Road Rage Kills" that is accross the back. They used the most ineffective shot they had from their files.
Now I wish I could put into action all the things people tell me to do. "Just ignore it. Don't let it get to you. Shake it off. Remember she wouldn't want you to be upset." Seriously? I can't just switch my emotions off. If I never read a paper, watch the news, or listen to people who call to tell me about it.. then I can ignore it, shake it off.. not let it get to me. But once it is in my brain I can't just erase it. Brian talked to a reporter for the paper yesterday, so I guess we will see what kind of spin he puts on things. That is one of the most aggravating things. No matter what you say, they put their own spin to it. They leave out parts of what you say and fill in their own opinion for the rest. I hate that!
I am off to the ranch this weekend.. by myself.. to regroup, recharge, relax.. ttyl.

My little trooper..

although he isn't so little any more. I am amazed at how Hunter handles life sometimes. I try to explain things to him in detail, in a way he can understand. If he asks me a question, I do my best to answer it, not just blow him off. Whenever we do things I explain to him how things work, and what to do if something doesn't go the way we expect. Once on horseback our saddle slid sideways going up a hill. He was on a ride-along saddle behind me, attached to mine. Most adults would have panicked. But I had told him if something like that happened to just hold on and stay calm. He did great. When someone asked him why he didn't panic, he told them "because my Mom told me what to do."
When I felt sick on Monday, Hunter & I were at the grocery store after I picked him up from school. I managed to get the groceries in and got into the car. I knew I was going to pass out so I told Hunter what happens when someone passes out and what to expect. I told him if he got scared to call his Dad. I was only out a mimnute or less. He was a trooper. He got me a towel out of the back seat and told me to throw up in a pan that was in the car if I needed to throw up again. We waited until I was absolutely sure I could handle driving the half mile to our house, then we went home. I asked him what he thought and if he was scared, He said no, but if I hadn't woken up after a few minutes he would have called his Dad. He also told me I couldn't drive anymore if I was that sick! Of course when I left to pick him up from school I didn't feel that sick, just yucky from an upset stomach. I am glad it wasn't worse and Hunter was my little trooper!

Cali 3.5.08

Cali 3.5.08
Originally uploaded by mommanana

This is Calypso yesterday in the van. She is almost 10 months old (on the 15th) and weighs 70lbs! She wedged herself between the two seats and her rearend is up against the back of the center console to the front seat. She is becoming quite the big girl!

Rosie's House

Rosie's House
Originally uploaded by mommanana

This is the deluxe apartment for our new Guinea Pig, Rosie. Hunter named her. (I think it had something to do with when she peed in the box while we were checking out, he didn't think she smelled like a rose!) She is just a baby, and a bit skittish, so she hides in her house alot. Right now she is getting some water, but the minute I pick up the camera she runs. She is black and orange, and quite a cutie. I will post pix when she is better acclimated. What's one more animal at the zoo?!

I saw stars..

I was so sick on Monday I passed out... and woke up to me throwing up.. not good! I was feeling a little better by Tuesday, and am fine now. There is more to the story, but not in the mood to tell it right now. I think not feeling good contributed to my funky mood this week. At least that is what I am going to blame it on for now!

Sat. Night, not Sunday yet for me..

I am glad Tristan has an overabundance of underwear. I have been correcting myself for calling them panties, because I have been scolded and reminded that boys wear underwear.. girls wear panties! Today was day 2 of Tristan in underwear all day. He had a few accidents, but overall has been doing okay with it. I got spoiled with Alexa making the transition so smoothly when she finally made the switch to panties full time. But I will take what I get and be glad I got it! He is on his way and I am thrilled. Alexa has to remind me what a big girl she is and that she keeps her panties dry all day when ever I am praising Tristan for his efforts. I feel like a tennis ball at Wimbledon bouncing between the two of them!