Connected..

The past few months I have been avoiding going to Kierra's crash site. I put up a memorial sign and birthday balloons last night (tonight.. haven't gone to bed). I can't talk to her there anymore. I don't feel connected to her there or maybe I don't want to feel connected to her there. I feel connected to her when I hold her children, or I hold her "Bunky". I feel devastated and so angry there, and I don't want to feel that way when I think of her. I lost her there, and I wasn't there when she needed me.. I don't want to be there now.