"tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul.." The rest of the song doesn't apply, but those few words sure do! I seem to get sad, angry, frustrated.. all at the drop of a hat. Some of it has been founded. Those "little things" to others can be something really important to me. But then I get emotional and I can't control it.
I try to be honest and tell people how I feel. I don't want everything written off because of "grief" either. I am more sensitive of course. But I have always been a bitch, and that part of me still remains. Those who know me, know that isn't new! Though the flip side of that is.. I may be bitchy, but don't ignore what I am bitching about!
I try to think if I was any happier with life before Kierra was killed, or was I miserable then too, just on a different level? Her death has changed everything, but aren't I the same person at the core? Or is who we are directly connected to those we love, and when you lose a part of yourself, it all unravels a little and can't be put back together quite the same way? hmmm.. I don't have the emotional energy to answer that. I am not sure if I even know. This sounds pretty depressing doesn't it?? The good moments are so intertwined with the bad, it is hard to differentiate. I try, and I do have good times and I am not always a wreck. Honest.. really.. I swear..
No comments:
Post a Comment