Thursday, May 04, 2006

It is still so fresh..

There have been alot of things lately that bring it all forward again. I can't just tuck it away at the back of my mind. I posted Brian's entry to Kierra's online guestbook from her obituary. He is more eloquent than he thinks..
We went to court this morning with the officer and his wife who's 24 year old daughter, Kristen, was killed on March 12th. As I sat there I thought.. this is so raw for them, so fresh. I thought about next week being Mother's day and also 6 months since Kierra was killed. I think of a baby going from birth to 6 months old.. half a year.. and all the growth that child goes through. So how can it be 6 months since that horrible moment?? How can so much of my world have kept going?
Brian & I held hands in court this morning. I think of how you plan a marriage.. to love each other for better and worse. I never imagined this. That the "worse" would or could be this awful. I couldn't love him more. I am so glad we have turned to each other instead of away.
The Fernandina Shrimp Festival is this weekend. Brian & I both realized it was something we couldn't do yet.. that was a family affair. Everyone's schedule was too crazy to go last year. Maybe we will take the kids next year..
I am going to Atlanta with Greta this weekend. An emotional retreat.. no promises that I will be out of this funk when I get back... it is what it is!

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