Monday, June 08, 2009

I'll get through it..

I had a quiet, but long weekend. We didn't go anywhere & didn't really do anything. Brian worked all weekend, so it was just me & the kids. I think my mind is trying to get geared up for tomorrow. It would have been Kierra's 28th birthday. It is pre-school graduation for both Tristan (in the am) & Alexa (in the pm). So I have to put on my happy face & be around alot of people all day. I am so proud of them! I'll get through it. I have cried alot this morning, maybe subconciously I want to get it out of my system. I wish I could blame it on hormones, but I know this pain, I am familiar with the weight of my heart being crushed by it.
I know everyone means well.. It will get easier in time, She's in a better place, She would want you to get past it, move on... I get all that, thanks. The truth is, those are just words. There is no magic spell that can make this better. I know all that in my head, although I still don't buy the better place bit.. but my heart & my emotions sometimes have a will of their own. So I will surf the waves as they come, knowing I'll go under a time or two. Also knowing I'll come up for air, I'll get through it like I always do.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One thing I miss is her calling me, It's never easy, no matter what the words are. But, we are here.
IM so proud of those two, I never had a graduation, give it all they got.