Sunday, November 12, 2006

A year ago, a moment ago..

I had planned to take Hunter camping with Greg & Lisa. It was supposed to be the first time I used my new sidekick kayak. It took me quite a while but I finally got the kayak tied down on top of my van and headed out. I had a few errands to run, but planned on being on my way by 9:30am. Despite all my efforts, the kayak diodn't do so well on top of the car. It made this awful humming noise and the vibration was beyond annoying. I had a 4 plus hour drive. So I pulled into a parking lot, rearranged the van and took the kayak down and tried to put it inside the van. It is a very long kayak. It barely fit and completely blocked my right window and rearview mirror. So I finally gave up, tried to find a route home that only required left turns and made it safely back to the house. I unloaded the kayak, put it back in the garage, rearranged the van yet again.
Just as I was about to pull out of the driveway Kierra pulled up with the twins. She just needed to run in and use the phone real quick. I stayed at her car with the twins while she made her call, and then we talked a few minutes before we were both on or way. We made plans to take the twins to the zoo on Tuesday. She'd been working alot and that was her next day off. She also put in her bid for her favorite Thanksgiving Day dishes and we planned to go grocery shopping together too. I told her I would see her Tuesday and yelled "Love you" as I got in my car and she got in hers, she stuck her head out her window and yelled "love you too!" That was the last time I saw her alive..
I cursed that kayak all weekend, now I am so grateful and know despite my doubts and anger with God, there was a reason I was delayed that day, a reason I had to go back home, and it had nothing to do with the kayak..It is futile for me to wish I had known, had sensed the importance of those few moments. They bring me as much comfort as they do pain. It was a year ago, but just a moment ago..

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