The Problem with Pain..

..is that you have absolutely no control. Wether it is emotional pain, which can also be physical, or the physical pain of a migraine, broken foot, pinched nerve, torn ligament, etc.. sometimes, even the medicines don't work and you are at the mercy of your pain. I don't usually give up control without a fight. I hate giving in to something and letting it take over. I missed the Florida Twin convention activities today (actually yesterday) because of this stubborn migraine. I made it to our bi-monthly get together at Terri, Dwight, & Savannah's, but this damn headache drained me of my "fun factor", and I couldn't enjoy everyone and everything like I normally do. I didn't even get in the pool with the kids.. Thank you Greta, Savannah, Dwight, & Terri for doing that for me! The food and the company were great, I just couldn't relax & enjoy it like I wanted to.

Emotional pain can be like that too. It drains you and steals your ability to do things, to enjoy things, and to be yourself. I had been visiting a blog about a young boy and his Mother dealing with multiple surgeries and a heart transplant. He had been doing okay, but had some complications and sadly, died (Saturday, 10/21). http://prayforcanon.blogspot.com/ What a strong testament to love. And of faith, which I am still lacking, but that is another blog.. sad things happen every day to everyone. Not always as tragic as death, but emotional pain has it's own scale, it's own weight of measure. Not to be underestimated.

This damn migraine, which is 2 days going now, may be a more dominant pain at the moment. And at times it may seem like a greater pain, but it isn't. Brenda told me I was a trooper for cooking and going to the party with my migraine. I have forced myself through other things with my emotional pain killing me inside, so it wasn't such a big deal to strongarm myself through this migraine. I hate giving in to anything, so I am sure I will fight through it again. Like now, when I refuse to let my pain keep me from typing this.. when I refuse to give up control. If this pain insists on being unbreakable, I will suffer through it. Given the choice of giving in and letting it get worse as I cry over it, or fighting against it and still doing what I feel I should.. I will fight the fight. I make that choice almost daily with the pain of my grief. It is familiar to me, it is my life, it is what it is..