A jawbreaker broke me..

Yesterday was my birthday.. woo hoo~. First thing in the morning Brian and I went to get coffee at the gourmet coffee shop, (the ship's coffee is awful!) While we were standing there we noticed some candy that they sell. One of them is a huge jawbreaker. Kierra use to love those things, she would eat them for days. You would open the fridge and there it would be wrapped in a paper towel. Then you would see her with this huge thing half in her mouth and her lips all white while she sucked on it. I had to step away and go look out the window at the ocean and cry where no one would see me and ask questions. Brian was upset too. It is always with me, but things like that trigger the pain and make it hard to act normal. We thought we had gotten it under control untilwe went up for breakfast and Greta, Robyn, and Uncle Bobby tried to sing Happy Birthday to me. I had to walk away. At that moment I could not think of it being happy. I could not imagine celebrating anything when Kierra was gone. I felt bad, their intentions were good. I just couldn't do it. By dinner I was able to control it better so they could do the cake and singing. I got some great gifts, we drank Asti, amd went dancing. It was all good. Some days are just easier than others. I guess this was a warm up for the pending Holidays. I'll take it as it goes..