In a Heartbeat...

You know how a comment can go from one person to another to another? Very often that comment gets back to the person you probably would have preferred it never get to. That has happened to me a couple times lately. A couple comments were made about me and have gotten back to me. One that I have really thought alot about & tried to honestly evaluate I would like to share.. and clarify. (To clarify further..I did not make the comment, someone else said it about me and it was repeated back to me.) The comment was to the effect that I would "unload the kids in a heartbeat". I am not sure if that applied to all 3 or just the twins, but it doesn't matter.
They are alot of work, alot of hard work. Some days I don't know how I will do it. And I take full advantage of opportunities to get away and recharge. Most days I am worn out at the end of the day. But it's not just from the kids, it's from life in general too. I could not imagine our life without them. I would not be able to function without them to care for. It keeps me going and keeps my heart in tact. It is easier financially than when my older three were small, but so much harder emotionally. Did I/would I have "unloaded" my other children?? Of course not.. Did they drive me just as crazy? Of course they did! Would I do it all again? In a hearbeat!
Some people think they know how I feel.. I assure you, no matter who you are to me, you don't. You may have a vague notion, but you do not know how my heart feels. That is mine, and mine alone. Comments like this make me gaurd my heart even more.
I get stressed, I get tired. Show me a parent of 3 small children, even without our extenuating circumstances, and you will see them stressed and tired as well. I am blessed to have support from family & friends whom we hold very dear. We could not do this without them. It is not the way I thought my life at this stage would be, but there is no way for me to bring Kierra back, and that is the only way I could/ or would change where my life is today. So in case you were wondering.. my heart beats almost a hundred times a minute and no one is going anywhere.