Mixed emotions..

I have often referred to my life as a roller coaster, ups & downs, both thrilling and fearful. Just when I think it is slowing down to stop, it plummets without warning. That is how I am feeling about the new house. I am so excited to have a new space, and the space we need. To have a fresh start for all of us. The flip side of that is leaving the other house, the life we have here. I know it's just down the road, but it really is another world in so many ways. I am a little fearful. The whole "waiting for the other shoe to drop". I am working on not doing that, but it creeps in from time to time anyway.
Brian & I went shopping for the kid's furniture for their rooms. The twins are out of their toddler beds, so..We are getting Alexa the bed Kierra picked out when she was just a baby. It is the Cinderella pumpkin coach princess bed at Rooms to Go. We are getting it in a full size so when she gets older she can take the canopy off and still have a beautiful sleigh type bed that she can use. It won't hurt to have the bigger bed when I have to lay down with her from time to time either!
Tristan is getting a Disney Cars bed, and Hunter is getting a Buzz Lightyear bunk bed. Yes, they are spoiled. Believe me, I know it. I kept thinking what Kierra would pick for them. What would she want for them? I do that with almost every decision I make for them. Big & little.
I do that with myself too. What would she say, what would she think? It doesn't always change what I decide, but I guess it keeps her with me, keeps her a part of it all.
Sometimes I can just pretend she is busy with her own life and not gone. Brianne is so busy with work, school, church, & just the demands of every day life. I don't get to see her as often as I would like and we don't get the chance to do much one on one. I maybe get to talk to her once or twice a week. Chad is in his own little world too. So sometimes it isn't so hard to pretend. I busy myself with the demands of life and it fades just a little. Then I think.. I can't wait to tell her about this or that.. .and it's back.
So I am excited about the new house and the move, I just wish she were here to be a part of it.