Sealed with a...sore back & knees!!

I am not sure which is greater, my aches and pains, or my exhaustion! I sealed all the grout around all the tile in the new house, twice. I am so sore, and so tired! I stayed up until almost 3am getting the sealing underway, and worked on it all day. Brian installed 5 ceiling fans and is asleep on the couch. We start moving furniture in the morning.. woohoo! I am beat and off to bed!

Tagged..

It's been eons since I played tag with my sister, but she got me on her blog.. see her link on the right.. so I have to list 6 wierd things about me that you may not know?! Ok, here goes:
1) I don't just hate liver.. the smell makes me physically ill.
2) I prefer a light on when I sleep, a night light will do.
3) I like margarine on crackers, ask Nancy about it!
4) I got kicked in the butt by a horse when I was about 5 years old, wouldn't ride for years, until I was a teenager.
5) I wanted to be a truck driver.
6) I sang in a country band for a short time in Indiana when I was 18.
Not so wierd after all, but that's all I've got! Now I tag.. Vicky, Savannah, & Lisa Jaye..if you don't blog, post it in my comments section!

It's Ours!!

I can hardly believe it, but we closed on the new house today. All I can think of is... WOW. Greta insisted on taking the kids for the weekend, Brianne will pick them up for the day from her Sunday morning. Terri is offering "Aunti Terri's Day Camp" Mon-Wed. So the game plan is to do all the set-up stuff..sealing all the grout around all the tile... hang up window blinds and ceiling fans, tomorrow. Then move the big stuff on Sunday & Monday. Move whatever is left on Tuesday. Then we have deliveries and installations on Wed. & Thur. A very busy schedule. I will blog when I can, but right now hubby & I are headed to the new house to spend our first night there.. ALONE. I have Asti on ice and 2 glasses.......ttfn.

I know how..

How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know

Those are some of the lyrics to a song by Blaine Larson (country). I have heard it alot lately when I am swapping around stations in the car. Today (actually Tues) a 39 year old JSO officer shot himself while on duty. He was on the force 3 years. He left behind a wife, and his daughters, ages 2 & 5. He wasn't under investigation for anything, and no one seems to know why he did it. Then my Mom calls to tell me that my step-sister's 21 year old son killed himself Monday night.
Other than the connection to my Dad, I didn't know him. Other than the connection to Brian's job, I didn't know the officer either. I will be honest, when I first heard that song, my first reaction was "I know how you can feel that way...", "I know why people choose suicide..". But I also know why some (I) choose no to do it. I can't be that selfish. Brian & I talked about it and he said the same thing. To feel the grief we feel from Kierra's death, and know we would be creating that pain for those we love and care about keeps us here. It doesn't keep us from walking to the edge, but from taking the leap. It's a dangerous place to be. I am so sorry for this man & this boy who could not step back and not follow the urge to end their lives, and I am beyond sorry for the families they left behind to grieve for them.

FYI.. don't tile ALL your floors

I am glad our new house isn't all tile! This rental property is and it drives me crazy! You hear every little sound because everything echos. It doesn't help that it is small and the kid's rooms are close to the kitchen & living room. The twins room backs against the laundry room, & the kitchen, so they hear the washer and dryer, the dishwasher, when I run water, when I put away dishes, etc. Since I usually do all that in the wee hours, they usually wake up. Just one more thing I like about the new house! The bedrooms are all off the living room, but the far corners of the family room. The only wall that backs to anything that may be noisy is Hunter's. One of his walls is against where the entertainment center will be. But once he is asleep he is out solid until early morning. So I guess I will go to bed and finish cleaning the kitchen in the morning when I want them awake!

The Princess in her chair 3/27/07

The Princess in her chair 3/27/07
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

Alexa had a recheck for her ears today, all is well. We went to the mall to check out a few things and meet up with Greta for lunch. Alexa found this chair in one of the stores. It is a bit big for her yet, but she sure fits the "princess" part! It was fun to have a girls only day!

More Chances..

A friend once told me she noticed a pattern with my three older children. She said it took an average of 5 times for them to do something I told them to do. Because by the fifth time I was aggravated and my tone changed. When I got mad they knew I meant business.
The other day Hunter got in trouble for trying to hit Tristan with the door of the pirate ship playhouse out back. Tristan was bent over picking up his spilled marshmallows. I caught Hunter trying to shut the door hard enough to "accidentally" hit Tristan. He did it more than once before I stopped him. He did not succeed, but the fact that he tried really upset me. I put him in time out and told him I was done with him for the day. He got very upset and cried. "But Mom, you didn't give me more chances!" I usually give him a 3 strikes warning. I will tell him he has used all his chances for the day, and the next problem will be it, I'm done. He was so upset that he didn't get "more chances". I told him since he tried to hurt Tristan more than once, he didn't get any more chances, and that wasn't the only problem that day.
Chad & I have been having a "more chances" issue as well. Wether they are 6 or 20, they think there should always be more chances. I wish life worked that way! But it doesn't. You would think after the first 3 kids I would have a handle on this parenting thing. There is irony in the fact that I don't, but I do have "more chances"..

The Sunny Side..

Now here are some highlights from the week;
*Tristan dancing & saying "shake it, shake it" when he saw a hula skirt on Santa in a book we were reading..have no idea where he got that!
*The twins using the signs and words for "I Love You" randomly throughout the day.
*Playing "My Baby" with the kids while laying on our king size bed. (You snuggle with them and say "My Baby", or My Alexa, Tristan, or Hunter" then the other grown up says.. "no My Baby, etc. and trys to pull them away from the other person. They all love doing that and keep going back for more.)
* Watching them all play when they don't know you are looking and seeing them do something loving, or nice for the other.
* Having Alexa sit on my lap and do eskimo kisses.

No Full Moon.. so What's Up?!

Perfect example.. this is the fourth time I am trying to publish this post, it dumps it, erases it, and I have to start over!
Things have been like that all week, I try to get things done, and run into major glitches. I checked the moon phases to see if it was a full moon, no luck.
Here are just a few things the kids have been into this week;
*Hunter pulled the breaker on the AC unit outside. (came home to 80 degrees inside!)
*Tristan dumped out Brian's contact lenses.
*Hunter knocked over and broke a jar of queso cheese dip when he snuck into the pantry in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning, quite the mess!
*Tristan or Hunter (both were pushing buttons while I buckled in Alexa) changed my temperature display in my car to Celsius, even the book can't tell me how to get it back to Fahrenheit!
*All of them have been bickering and arguing more.
I have to wonder what phase my life is going through since I can't blame the moon!

Not Fair..

It seems Kierra's accident, her death is so "in my face" the past few days. I think of it every day, I think of her every day, but that isn't quite the same as someone else putting it in front of me. It is hard to explain, even harder to deal with. Today we got a letter from the clerk of the court in St. John's County addressed to Kierra. It was informing her of a possible suspension of her driver's license! It said in July of 2005 she got a ticket for not having her driver's license with her while driving. She must have been given a warning for whatever she was stopped for, but they ticketed her for not having her driver's license on her at the time. Anyway, 19months later she gets this letter in the mail, 16 months after her death. If they bothered to check her license online they would have seen it lists her as deceased. What really bugged me was this is the first notice they have sent her on it, we have never gotten anything else. Brian called and straightened it out. He shouldn't have had to do that. To have to explain when and how she died, again, and again. Using Tristan's new favorite phrase, it's "not fair!"

Why I Blog..

I am fortunate to have ALOT of people in my life. Near and far. Friends, family, aquaintances, and everything in between. That has added to alot of life experiences. Add to that.. I am a VERY opinionated person (you should already know that!). So there are times I do not necessarily agree with each and everyone of those people. It is what it is. This is not only a way for me to keep in touch, it is also my journal, my way of letting things out. I do not, and have never, expected everyone to agree with me or like what I say. I believe I have said before that I make no promises about what I will say, or what this is about. Reading this is not required to be part of my life. I have a few people very close to me who do not read it at all. If you choose to read, do so at your own risk. Things I say might bother you. They may make you sad, mad, or sometimes they might make you laugh. I will not rationalize or justify what I have to say. (You should know that about me already too!) This is my life.. good, bad, or indifferent. Walk along with me, or drop in once in a while.. as in everything in life.. your choice.

Our couch sleeps 3!

I couldn't get a picture because it is too dark, but Tristan is on one end of the long section of our couch. Just a few inches past his outstretched toes you will find Alexa's toes. She stretches to the end of that section. Then there is a short section ending with a recliner. That is my section since that is the only space left! They have moved to taking over the couch instead of our bed. Of course they want me with them. Now sometimes I am already there, since I have a tendency to fall asleep on the couch, but even when I am not, Tristan will climb up, usually turn on the TV and then falls back to sleep. Alexa goes to wherever I am, or sometimes bypasses me on the couch and takes over my space in my bed if Brian is there. I know there will be some issues to get them back in the habit of sleeping in their own beds.. as well as in their own rooms. Of course now I have been up since 2 am. I fell asleep on the couch about 11. Alexa woke me up, then Tristan wasn't far behind. I realized the trash hadn't been taken down to the street, (Chad's job) so I emptied all the cans in the house, took trash & recyclables down to the street, cleaned most of the kitchen, started the dishwasher, read my book for a while, and here I am. Tomorrow is a stay at home day, no appointments, so maybe we can have a pajama day and take it easy.. I'll let you know how that works out for me!

2 out of 150..

Okay, Brianne finally updated her blog and it is about how forgetful her thyroid problem has made her. That solves my life long problem with forgetting things.. she got it from me!! Anywho, while blogging yesterday I could not remember what else I had wanted to blog about. I try to get on the computer often enough to get things down before I "forget". Greta & I spent some time today doing pottery. It was a good time. She asked if I had blogged about an incident at the ranch while we were there. I had forgotten all about it, so here it is...

Greta used to ride alot with one of her friends when she was younger, (LOL, much younger!). She has not ridden in many years. I was proud of her for getting back on. She rode Heiffer the first morning, then she spent the afternoon at the hotel with the kids. Then Sunday morning she stayed with the kids, then we took them to the ranch to have lunch, meet up with their parents and let them ride in the arena a little. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Greta got to ride Sally for our final ride of the weekend. We went through the pasture and the woods, then took the long way through the trails. We were just coming down a hill to the last stretch before the main trail when I noticed a familiar black rump, along with a painteron rump I am not so fond of.. Our filly, Tortuga, and her partner in crime, Walker. No horses are supposed to roam loose in the trails. There are gates to keep them out. Somehow those two snuck in while someone was trying to close the gate, or the gate got left open for awhile. They are not followers, trust me, I tried to get them to follow, no go, so I called Marei on my cell phone to let her know some horses had gotten past the gate. The signal was lousy and it went to voice mail, so we headed back to the barn to get help. We saw Blaine coming in on our way out and he said Marei sent him to get them, so she got my message. I offered to help, but he said they had it handled.

Of 150 horses on the property, mine is the one who gets through the gate! And I am the one to find her! Greta & Blaine had a fun time giving me heck about it back at the barn. They are good people. I don't know how I will ever find another place as good as there for my horses. Tortuga is going to be going out to a side pasture with the other yearlings for the summer. Nice fresh, new grass. And no trails to sneak into!!

"well, Kierra didn't.."

There are times I am at odds about what to blog and what not to blog. But this has been on my mind alot. I haven't gotten into the details of Kierra's accident very often. One, because it doesn't change anything. Two, it isn't pleasant to talk about. But over last weekend Greta & I went to Georgia to visit the horses and see Katie & Cody. (A very good weekend!) They spent Sat. night with us and we went to the mall and the movies. Katie & I, & Greta got in a debate about wearing a seatbelt while driving accross the parking lot. We told her she had to wear it, it was the safe thing to do.. that didn't convince her, so we told her it was the law, if she didn't wear it, she would be breaking the law.
Her response was " well Kierra didn't". It took me a full second or two to absorb that she had actually said it, then I replied," and what happened to her Katie?" Katie said "She died." I told her that was right and we wouldn't want anything like that to happen to her. That it should make her think about it, not brag about it. Greta was speechless. Katie, along with alot of us, speaks before she thinks and blurts out whatever comes to mind.
What really struck me was that obviously someone grown up used the example with her at one time or another. Brian's niece had blogged about the same thing on her my space just after Kierra died. Her words were "i just wish she had worn her seatbelt...things would have turned out so much differently if she had..". That has bothered me alot, but I never addressed it.
Kids believe what they hear. So I wish along with the seat belt issue, which we will never know would have mattered, they would have been reminded that the cause of her death was being run off the road by an angry man. Had he not done that, the rest wouldn't have happened, with, or without, a seatbelt. There were alot of contributing factors that day. It bugs me to have the seatbelt be what these kids remember about it. Grownups tend to use scare tactics to convince their kids to do what they should, I feel like Kierra's death should mean more than that. That is my own personal opinion, so don't blast me with seatbelt statistics, and your opinion of wether or not Kierra would have been killed. We paid professional experts to analyze the accident and know more than we ever wanted to. We know the force of the impact and the damage it caused, so don't assume to know what may have saved her life. Nothing did, and that will never change.

Mixed emotions..

I have often referred to my life as a roller coaster, ups & downs, both thrilling and fearful. Just when I think it is slowing down to stop, it plummets without warning. That is how I am feeling about the new house. I am so excited to have a new space, and the space we need. To have a fresh start for all of us. The flip side of that is leaving the other house, the life we have here. I know it's just down the road, but it really is another world in so many ways. I am a little fearful. The whole "waiting for the other shoe to drop". I am working on not doing that, but it creeps in from time to time anyway.
Brian & I went shopping for the kid's furniture for their rooms. The twins are out of their toddler beds, so..We are getting Alexa the bed Kierra picked out when she was just a baby. It is the Cinderella pumpkin coach princess bed at Rooms to Go. We are getting it in a full size so when she gets older she can take the canopy off and still have a beautiful sleigh type bed that she can use. It won't hurt to have the bigger bed when I have to lay down with her from time to time either!
Tristan is getting a Disney Cars bed, and Hunter is getting a Buzz Lightyear bunk bed. Yes, they are spoiled. Believe me, I know it. I kept thinking what Kierra would pick for them. What would she want for them? I do that with almost every decision I make for them. Big & little.
I do that with myself too. What would she say, what would she think? It doesn't always change what I decide, but I guess it keeps her with me, keeps her a part of it all.
Sometimes I can just pretend she is busy with her own life and not gone. Brianne is so busy with work, school, church, & just the demands of every day life. I don't get to see her as often as I would like and we don't get the chance to do much one on one. I maybe get to talk to her once or twice a week. Chad is in his own little world too. So sometimes it isn't so hard to pretend. I busy myself with the demands of life and it fades just a little. Then I think.. I can't wait to tell her about this or that.. .and it's back.
So I am excited about the new house and the move, I just wish she were here to be a part of it.

The Great Shoe Hunt..

Today was busier day than I expected. Brian was home sick. So sick he called into work. This is maybe the 2nd time in over 11 years he has called in sick, which means he was really, really sick. It is some stomach virus so we are all staying away from him! So I took the twins to the mall, met Greta for lunch, then walked to the other end, shopping along the way of course! I let them play on the indoor playground for awhile, but there were ALOT of kids. We shopped our way back to the end of the mall we parked at and got loaded into the car in time to go get Hunter from school. That is when I noticed only one shoe. Alexa had lost one of her purple kid's crocs. There was no way for me to go back right then and find it. So I picked up Hunter, took the twin's to daycare, took Hunter to karate, then He & I went to the mall and retraced my earlier steps. I had even called the stores and the mall.. no luck, no one saw it. We finally found it at the playgroyund. Hunter said he could smell it. Whatever works.. at least we found the shoe!

Alexa on Happy meds

Alexa on Happy meds
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

This was just before her surgery on Friday. She was done & on the way home by 9:30. She was just having the ear tubes put in so she didn't have to have an IV or Airway Tube, she had more gas anesthesia. So the after effects were more than Tristan's. She was fussy and groggy for a while. Then by afternoon she was running & playing again. Today (Sat.) you wouldn't have known she had anything done!

Whose Bed is it Anyway?!

We have been fighting the ages long battle of kids crawling into our bed in the middle of the night. It started about a week ago. When we first moved to this rental it was unbelievable how easily they went to bed for the first couple weeks. No TV, no fuss. They slept through the night. That has slowly changed. The other night I announced it was time to get ready for bed. Alexa put on her best pouty face and moaned pathetically, "Noooooo, not bed". I told her yes, it was time for bed. She pointed to my room and said "that bed", I responded with no, not that bed, your bed. She came back with "not my bed, your bed". I told her she was not sleeping in my bed, she had her own bed. She pointed to my room and said "My bed!" I, of course, laid claim and said no, my bed! That is when she got me... she looked up out of the top of her eyes, I swear she smirked.... and told me..... SHARE! You see, I have been saying that to her & Tristan alot lately when they get in a "mine" match. And no matter who the toy belongs to, they are supposed to share. I fell right into her trap about whose bed it was. It was very hard not to laugh as I took her pouty, mad, too damn smart, little body to her own bed. We don't win the battle every night. I am sure it will be easier when they are in their own rooms and not waking each other off & on all night. Then maybe they won't wake me off & on all night either!