A spoon full of sugar...

My therapist and I had a long discussion today about my depression being worse than usual this past week, more of the physical symptoms.. lethargy, not caring if I showered( don't worry, I did!) feeling like I could just stay in bed and sleep. I took care of the kids, but did the bare minimum as far as taking care of the house and myself. I also talked about feeling disconnected from everything. All of which she reassured me is normal. She did say I might want to think of trying some medication to help get me over the hump. I feel better the past couple days, and I am not a pill taker, so we will see. One of the questions yesterday was if we had been to any counseling and if we had been prescribed any meds. I asked my therapist what difference that would make and she said perhaps they consider that an indication of how much we are suffering, or how we are coping. I get irritated just thinking about some stranger trying to calculate how much we are suffering! Okay, maybe more than just irritated! Anyway.. I am not so keen on taking meds.. never have been. I won't even take Tylenol PM to help me sleep. I think I worry about taking anything that may actually help numb some of my pain. How easy it might be to take a little extra, or take more often than I should. I have seen what addiction can do. I think I have a healthy concern that it might be too easy to depend on something other than my own strength to get me through. The quote tattooed across my lower back says "Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the strength to conquer it". I guess I should have had it put somewhere I could actually see it!