2:45 am..

It is 2:45am.. the house is (our version of) quiet. The sounds of Alexa snoring, ceiling fans turning, and Chad's stereo on low let me know all is well. I did doze on the couch for a while earlier, then awoke from a dream that was too real to let me sleep through it. Some times I can remember my dreams, and some times when I can't, I can guess form the way I feel when I wake up that it was about Kie. I will myself to remember, to grab on to any moments spent with her, even in sleep. But tonight my mind won't give it back to me.

I find myself talking to her alot. Not just quietly, inside my own head. But when I am alone, in the car, in my room at night, or doing something that I think she would have enjoyed. Or when the kids have driven me to the edge of my patience, and I am grasping for sanity. I find myself saying "okay miss thang.. what would you do??" Usually it involves letting them reek havoc and just not giving a damn until we all get it out of our systems. There is nothing that can't be cleaned up later.. or replaced! It is amazing what can be gained from a big bowl of popcorn or Cheetohs. The hell with the carpet or what Cheetoh dust does to clothes, (and furniture!)

When the weather allows I pull out the triplet stroller and load everyone up and we take a walk. I had forgotten there is a pond to the back of our subdivision. Tonight it was full of ducks.. Tristan quacked all the way around it. It was too cute.

Speaking of cute.. I wish I had my camera or even my camera phone earlier tonight when Brian was leaving for work..He & I were talking as he was pulling away to go to work. We had been working on the playground and we were debating on a new playhouse and which type of fencing to use. Then here comes Tristan down the driveway in just his diaper.. a droopy diaper at that. I started to go after him when I was distracted by Alexa walking down the other side of the driveway.. wearing one of Tristan's cowboy boots... and nothing else! Thank goodness it was warm out! Brian was shocked and in a panic.. So I scooped her up and headed back to the front door.. meanwhile Brian had to get out of his car and herd Tristan back toward the house, while Hunter tried to help him. I couldn't stop laughing.. Brian was shocked and called me later to see how they were and asked me why she keeps doing that, (undressing herself and taking off her diaper). I told him all the kids have done that and it is a sign to start potty training her because the few times she has done it usually she had a wet diaper. He can't remember the older kids doing it, but he wasn't always around when they did. Tristan has just started taking his clothes off, but leaves the diaper on, for now! Alexa has always tended to be a few steps ahead of him.

So my mental to do list now has potty training added to it.. I had been thinking about it, but wasn't sure they were ready. I think Alexa will be easier to train than Tristan. Just another challenge!