I am there..

I was going through some things today and came accross one of Kierra's journals. The last entry in this particular book really gets to me. In it she talked about how much she missed Brian's dad, her Grampa Shore. He passed away April 1, 2005. She also talked about how we need to grab on to life and live for today because you never know what will happen tomorrow....

I was suprised how much she wrote. Not daily, sometimes months would go by between entries. Some are happy, some are sad, and some are angry. It is such an intimate look into what she thought and how she felt. She wrote some poetry and had copied a couple of mine down that were her favorites. God, how I miss her. I close my eyes for a minute and flashes of moments go through my mind. So many, yet not enough. I can't focus on just one. I am there in those moments with her.

And then I am brought back by the ringing of the phone, or the cry of a child, and I resist for a second...no, don't open your eyes, no, not yet...and the pain runs deep. Not for the memories or the moments, but for the return to my life without her.