Bittersweet..

I posted the birthday pictures we had done for the twins yesterday, but I think the order got messed up from the way I posted them originally. I will snail mail them as soon as I can.

I got through yesterday (2/4) by keeping myself so busy I barely had time to think. Brianne & I took the kids to get their pictures taken. They have always done great getting them done and we always get several poses with different outfits/props. The joke was on us! They were all over the place and not the least bit interested in cooperating, hence.. no pix of them together or in different clothes. None in their birthday hats, none in their birthday shirts, and none with Hunter. Tristan was our biggest obstacle. The picture with the cell phone was pure luck. He was entranced because it was playing the hip hop song "My Humps"! The photographer was trying anything to get him to sit still. We mentioned he liked that song and she happened to have it on her phone. We may try again another day... and then again.. maybe not! Darnell had even come over to where we were to help out. No matter how many hands we had, they were in opposite directions the whole time. Not nearly as simple as when they were babies!

We made it to their party just in time. They ran and played, played and ran. They got some great presents and alot of cards, gift cards, and money, which will go toward redoing the playground. It took quite awhile to get them to sleep and they were up and down alot during the night. I didn't sleep well either. I kept dreaming of Kierra. I can't really remember what I dreamt about, but I woke up this morning tired and sad.

Everyone helped make the twin's birthday special. But it was hard not to think about their Mother not being there, and wonder what she would think, what she would have done. It was hard not to look at them and think how sad... they are so young and won't remember her. Kierra was so excited about their 2nd birthday. She was so anxious to see how they reacted and how excited they would be. And she would have been the first one to open their presents and play with them herself!

It was supposed to be a happy day, yet it was so bittersweet for me. I didn't let myself think much about it while it was going on. I kept busy with everyone at the party. But the thoughts came to me the minute I let my emotional guard down, when everyone else was asleep. So I quelched them, and went to bed. That no doubt is why I had such a restless, dream filled night.

We can say we got through it, one less obstacle to get past. Onward to tomorrow!