You know, the Geyser in Yosemite Park.. the one that blows hot water into the air every so often..
That seems to be me today(Wednesday).. I am fighting a persistent sinus headache, which doesn't help. And I know there is more to my frustration than just the specific things that annoyed me today. But some days it doesn't build up as much as it seemed to today.
I pulled apart my kitchen and cleaned it this morning.. really cleaned it. Of course, with the twins & Hunter under foot and wanting my attention, it took 3 times longer than usual. I tried to get rid of anything non-essential to help downsize all the "stuff" we have no room for. It feels like the house is shrinking.. no matter how much I clean or organize or get rid of, things are still all over the place.
I loaded up the twins & Hunter and took them to have lunch with Brian at the credit union where he was working today. Traffic was horrid and the fast food place where I went had some kind of system failure and it took forever. The tellers and women who work at the credit union have always been so nice to the kids. One of them, Tara, had gotten some gifts for all 3 kids. Brian shut an open door in the breakroom to keep the twins from getting into things and it turned out no one knew who had the key because it automatically locks when you close it. I forgot to ask him later if anyone found the key.
We went home and the twins took a nap so I made a list and headed to the grocery store... 3 stores and hours later I was finally done! I usually shop 2 weeks ahead at Christmas so I can avoid going into any stores this close to the Holiday. It was crazy.. Traffic, crowds, out of items, a royal pain! While I was in one of the stores Brian called me. We talked about the schedule for our pre-Christmas/ Hunter's birthday thing at Terri & Dwight's tomorrow. Brian has to work so I will go early and Brianne will pick him up and come down after he gets off work at 5. I thought he should come straight down from work and we would pick his car up later, he wants to go home and change there them come down, no biggie, but for some reason it turned into a major discussion.
Then he dropped the bomb that HE would be talking to the state attorney tomorrow about the pending charges. He said to let him know if there was anything I wanted him to say. It struck me wrong that he thought because he had to work and would have to call from there that I wouldn't want or be able to be there. I told him as aggravated as I already was it was not a good conversation to have with me in the middle of a grocery store. He said as frustrated as I was with the state attorney's office he didn't think I would want to talk to them. He said I could go to the credit union about 9:30 in the morning and we could call together.
As well as my husband sometimes knows me, sometimes he doesn't know me at all! It was a dead end conversation when he got home later too. He had called our attorney and now will wait until he talks to him about 11 am tomorrow before he calls the state attorney, again making plans without even asking me if I want to be involved. He will call me a dozen times a day about nothing important lately, but something this important he doesn't. It is a mistake for him to place himself in my "strike zone". I am angry and frustrated about alot of things right now, and he just added himself to the list! I try to rationalize why he is thinking the way he is, but it just doesn't matter to my emotionally overloaded, exhausted mind.
So I cooked, he watched TV & fell asleep, and now I can't sleep.. again. I didn't sleep alot before, but now I am up all hours, then get up early. Not intentionally, but my mind just won't rest. I won't take medication because I need to be alert enough to hear the babies when they wake up sometimes at night, and I have never been a pill taker anyway. So it becomes a vicious cycle.
I guess I will worry about it tomorrow (actually now today.. it is 2:30 am), for tomorrow is another day... oh boy!
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