I was going to post another pic of Stanley, my biological father, but this one always ends up winning out of all my choices. He died the day after Brian's neice, Sammy was born. (She's my neice too, that just tells which side of the family she is on!) So sadly, I track how many years he has been gone with how many years old she is. Not intentionally, but my subconscious reminds me before I even think about it. To add to that irony, he died on my little sister Cricket's birthday, so I tell one sibling Happy Birthday, while I find a way to comfort 3 others. Just one more reason I almost hesitate to acknowledge the date of his passing. I have found with Kierra's death, & his, that I resent giving any power to the day they died. I will not give more energy to the day they died than I do to all the days they lived. Sometimes that can be hard to do. So I commemorate the day with this fun filled photo to share with you all. Not to be sad, but to bring a smile to your face, as it does mine..everytime I look at it!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Happy Birthday Sammy!
Sammy turned 11 on July 15th. This pic was in 2007, but is one of my favorites.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Our own little bubble....
I didn't realize we were living in our own little bubble. We did what we could to help those around us hit hard by the economy. We donate to charities. We live a good, full life & rarely want for anything. Now we find ourselves in a position we have not been in for a very long time. We find ourselves scrambling to come up with funds we don't have. We didn't notice the bubble bursting, we didn't notice that gentle slide down the slippery slope, until we hit the ground hard! We aren't alone. Many people are having to sacrifice & rearrange their priorities.
Life goes in phases & cycles. It runs around & around while we do our best to keep up. We've been through rough patches before & we will come through this one. It is just stressful to not see it coming then have to scramble to fix the problem. I miss our bubble, I miss the comfort that comes with financial security. I miss being able to work & contribute like I used to. I do, I really do!
Life goes in phases & cycles. It runs around & around while we do our best to keep up. We've been through rough patches before & we will come through this one. It is just stressful to not see it coming then have to scramble to fix the problem. I miss our bubble, I miss the comfort that comes with financial security. I miss being able to work & contribute like I used to. I do, I really do!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
On Secomd Thought..
There is something else I need after all... a really good babysitter! I have Terri & the gang for when I need a weekend break, (or recovery from surgery!) or if I am going somewhere overnight, etc. They are always willing to take them on. Brianne has been a huge help & helps whenever her schedule allows. Greta & Randy even take them when they can. So I don't mean to complain or infer they aren't really good babysitters.... what I need is someone who can watch them so I can do things with Terri (& the gang), Brianne, & Greta (& Randy), and to fill in to give all of the above a break now & then because they all work full time as well. I have had the help of a couple friends who have twins as well, but I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, or burn out a friendship.
I had a couple referrals for teenagers in our neighborhood, but one of them is always busy with other plans, & the other one never calls back or comes over when she says she will. So those numbers were erased from my list. Of course, then there was no list! So I went back to using an hourly daycare center up in Jacksonville. But since I only need them occasionally it is cost prohibitive because their rates are high on a PRN basis, lower if you buy "packages" of hours. Not to mention they are about 30-40 minutes away from my house, a bit out of the way most of the time. It wasn't so bad when the kids were in school (pre-k for the twins). I scheduled most things during those hours. Summer has become a major challenge.
I am a starbucks addict (suprised?!). there are 2 starbucks near me. One is 5 miles north, just off the interstate, the other is 5 miles East on US1. They know me by name & my usual coffee! One morning while talking to one of my "regular" baristas we got on the babysitter subject. He mentioned a sister who may be able to help me out. I jumped at the opportunity to have her come over and see if it would work out for us both.
She came over for the day on Monday & watched the twins while I took Hunter to the Dr. It seemed to go well. She is 18, just graduated from high school. She watched them Thursday while I took Randy to the dentist. I warned her that they would probably play her & test her. I tried to give her the do & do not scenarios. Randy's appt ended up being almost all day. I called throughout to check on them & all seemed to go well.
I came home to absolute chaos! The biggest issue was that Hunter & Alexa had convinced the sitter that they were allowed to play outfront with their bikes & Hummer.... without her! Tristan didn't want to go, (he knew better!) & Cali, our great dane, wouldn't go outside for the sitter. Hunter told her she couldn't leave Cali alone in the house, which is true, but he also told her it was okay, he would watch Alexa. She asked him if I let him do that... Hunter & Alexa both told her yes! NOT. She checked on them often, & said most of the time they were drawing with the sidewalk chalk.. or so it seemed. Hunter & Alexa would keep an eye out & listen for the door alarm, then run & catch her before she discovered all the things they had gotten into in the garage. Here are just a few of the highlights..
*Red Bull from the garage fridge.. tried it, didn't like it, so played hockey with several cans.. somehow puncturing a few. The ants have invaded my driveway even though it has been sprayed down..bug spray is a wonderful thing! Red Bull cans were strewn all over the far right side of our house..furthest from our front door so no one would see!
*Duct Tape.. a large new roll. Taped everything & anything they saw.. wads of it all over the place from when they pulled it off so they wouldn't get caught!
*Tool Box.. I think that may have been connected to the Red Bull somehow..possibly how the cans got holes in them.. no one is fessing up.. tools strewn everywhere.
*Camping Chairs & various outdoor games.. all out & in disarray.
*Several bins emptied with various toys, clothes, etc.
*got into unopened toys I had in a dresser in the garage, opened them & had them strewn everywhere.
*Popsicle & drink wrappers here & there.
* Alexa was dancing on top of the neighborhood large green electrical box when I pulled up.. never saw her move so fast as she dove off of it, grabbed her baby buggy & actually tried to pretend she hadn't been up there!
*They had somehow gotten the top off of, & knocked over, the fireant killer, thankfully they didn't mess with it, just made a mess!
There are probably still things out there I haven't discovered yet. My front yard looked like a junkyard. The sitter was very upset when she realized all they had done. She & I had a huge talk about common sense & being more attentive to what they are doing. Tristan, other than not telling her they lied, was actually the good one for the day! I was glad they didn't get hurt, although sympathy might have curbed my anger!
She was so sorry & promised it wouldn't happen again. She didn't know & isn't used to 3 small kids at one time. She watched them again yesterday for just a couple hours.. Hunter still got into things he shouldn't have & didn't want to listen to her. He & I talked about that, and about what being grounded means. I made sure Cali was gated in my bathroom while I was gone so she wouldn't have a 4th child not listening!
She is supposed to babysit on Monday so Bri , Jess & I can go up to the horses. I asked her if she was still willing to babysit.. I figure this will be the truth teller.. they will either do better, or she may not be the right fit. I told her she can have fun with them, but can't be their friend, she needs to be firm & on top of them. I just don't know if she has the confidence or the experience to handle them. We shall see.
They are a handful, I am not dillusional, I know they are alot to deal with. I am hoping everyone settles down & it works out for the occasional time I need a sitter. I don't want the name "Shore" to send sitters running in the opposite direction. School starts on August 24th. I am hoping I can work out the twins going to half day camp for a couple weeks... so we'll just keep swimming, swimming, swimming through the rest of summer!
(although hockey is a pretty good use for red bull!)
I had a couple referrals for teenagers in our neighborhood, but one of them is always busy with other plans, & the other one never calls back or comes over when she says she will. So those numbers were erased from my list. Of course, then there was no list! So I went back to using an hourly daycare center up in Jacksonville. But since I only need them occasionally it is cost prohibitive because their rates are high on a PRN basis, lower if you buy "packages" of hours. Not to mention they are about 30-40 minutes away from my house, a bit out of the way most of the time. It wasn't so bad when the kids were in school (pre-k for the twins). I scheduled most things during those hours. Summer has become a major challenge.
I am a starbucks addict (suprised?!). there are 2 starbucks near me. One is 5 miles north, just off the interstate, the other is 5 miles East on US1. They know me by name & my usual coffee! One morning while talking to one of my "regular" baristas we got on the babysitter subject. He mentioned a sister who may be able to help me out. I jumped at the opportunity to have her come over and see if it would work out for us both.
She came over for the day on Monday & watched the twins while I took Hunter to the Dr. It seemed to go well. She is 18, just graduated from high school. She watched them Thursday while I took Randy to the dentist. I warned her that they would probably play her & test her. I tried to give her the do & do not scenarios. Randy's appt ended up being almost all day. I called throughout to check on them & all seemed to go well.
I came home to absolute chaos! The biggest issue was that Hunter & Alexa had convinced the sitter that they were allowed to play outfront with their bikes & Hummer.... without her! Tristan didn't want to go, (he knew better!) & Cali, our great dane, wouldn't go outside for the sitter. Hunter told her she couldn't leave Cali alone in the house, which is true, but he also told her it was okay, he would watch Alexa. She asked him if I let him do that... Hunter & Alexa both told her yes! NOT. She checked on them often, & said most of the time they were drawing with the sidewalk chalk.. or so it seemed. Hunter & Alexa would keep an eye out & listen for the door alarm, then run & catch her before she discovered all the things they had gotten into in the garage. Here are just a few of the highlights..
*Red Bull from the garage fridge.. tried it, didn't like it, so played hockey with several cans.. somehow puncturing a few. The ants have invaded my driveway even though it has been sprayed down..bug spray is a wonderful thing! Red Bull cans were strewn all over the far right side of our house..furthest from our front door so no one would see!
*Duct Tape.. a large new roll. Taped everything & anything they saw.. wads of it all over the place from when they pulled it off so they wouldn't get caught!
*Tool Box.. I think that may have been connected to the Red Bull somehow..possibly how the cans got holes in them.. no one is fessing up.. tools strewn everywhere.
*Camping Chairs & various outdoor games.. all out & in disarray.
*Several bins emptied with various toys, clothes, etc.
*got into unopened toys I had in a dresser in the garage, opened them & had them strewn everywhere.
*Popsicle & drink wrappers here & there.
* Alexa was dancing on top of the neighborhood large green electrical box when I pulled up.. never saw her move so fast as she dove off of it, grabbed her baby buggy & actually tried to pretend she hadn't been up there!
*They had somehow gotten the top off of, & knocked over, the fireant killer, thankfully they didn't mess with it, just made a mess!
There are probably still things out there I haven't discovered yet. My front yard looked like a junkyard. The sitter was very upset when she realized all they had done. She & I had a huge talk about common sense & being more attentive to what they are doing. Tristan, other than not telling her they lied, was actually the good one for the day! I was glad they didn't get hurt, although sympathy might have curbed my anger!
She was so sorry & promised it wouldn't happen again. She didn't know & isn't used to 3 small kids at one time. She watched them again yesterday for just a couple hours.. Hunter still got into things he shouldn't have & didn't want to listen to her. He & I talked about that, and about what being grounded means. I made sure Cali was gated in my bathroom while I was gone so she wouldn't have a 4th child not listening!
She is supposed to babysit on Monday so Bri , Jess & I can go up to the horses. I asked her if she was still willing to babysit.. I figure this will be the truth teller.. they will either do better, or she may not be the right fit. I told her she can have fun with them, but can't be their friend, she needs to be firm & on top of them. I just don't know if she has the confidence or the experience to handle them. We shall see.
They are a handful, I am not dillusional, I know they are alot to deal with. I am hoping everyone settles down & it works out for the occasional time I need a sitter. I don't want the name "Shore" to send sitters running in the opposite direction. School starts on August 24th. I am hoping I can work out the twins going to half day camp for a couple weeks... so we'll just keep swimming, swimming, swimming through the rest of summer!
(although hockey is a pretty good use for red bull!)
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
All that I want, All that I need..
There is such a fine line between need & want. I want alot, I need very little. I need time alone with Brian. (Here's some TMI)...not just for sex, although that is great when we can manage it! But just to be with him, to talk , to share, to just "BE" together. Between his crazy schedule & my being pulled in a dozen different directions, time truly alone together is rare. We both get plowed under by life & all that we do. We also get burnt out by those same demands day after day. We are not alone, it is how many couples live their lives.
I go through phases & I think Brian does too, when it all just gets to be too much. I NEED to be with him, need to have some time for just the two of us. More than a couple hours out at a movie, which doesn't happen often either, but it is about the only thing we do as a "date night" from time to time. That is the "big" thing we did for our anniversary. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't enough. We slow danced for a few minutes in the parking lot, & that was awesome.
It doesn't have to be the most romantic, or anything fancy. Just to be together, uninterrupted, & have the energy & ability to give our undivided attention to each other. I have planned a weekend for us to be "home alone" in a few weeks. We can't really afford to go anywhere, & honestly I don't want to. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone else but Brian. It may sound selfish, but I don't want any phones, any visits, nada. I am not planning anything. We can sleep, watch movies, do something, do nothing. I don't care. He works so many hours & misses out on so much. We spent a week at Disney. Yes, he took a week off, but the only true time we had "alone" was a ride through the Haunted Mansion. I am not complaining, we had a great week. It was mainly for & about the kids. Now I want to give that same attention to my husband. For 48 hours I don't want to be distracted or exhausted from anyone or anything else.
I had Kierra when we met. 26 years later we are still raising children together. Neither of us would have it any other way, but that doesn't mean that we don't deserve to put each other first every once in a while. I don't NEED him all the time, every day. I WANT him all the time, every day, but sometimes the NEED is so great it hurts.
It doesn't have to be a weekend, but take the time to appreciate & truly "be with" the person you love. With or without kids, life can eat up all your time & energy. You know your partner loves you & you know they know you love them, but nothing replaces giving yourself & your time to the one you love. Nothing expensive, nothing fancy, just your time. You both not only WANT that from each other, you NEED that from each other.
We have a quote on the wall next to our bed, it says;
"Holding you, I hold everything" that is so true, all that I want & all that I need, rolled into one. So I will take the time to not just tell Brian that, but to show him that with my time & attention, just the two of us!
(HUGE Thank You to Terri, Dwight, Savanna, & Jess for being such great friends & such a great second family for the kids. We couldn't do it without you!)
P.S. It was a great idea, but once again life got in the way.. Brian ended up working & I had to move one of my horses, Reese, back up to Georgia.. so once again we got bumped to the back burner..
I go through phases & I think Brian does too, when it all just gets to be too much. I NEED to be with him, need to have some time for just the two of us. More than a couple hours out at a movie, which doesn't happen often either, but it is about the only thing we do as a "date night" from time to time. That is the "big" thing we did for our anniversary. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't enough. We slow danced for a few minutes in the parking lot, & that was awesome.
It doesn't have to be the most romantic, or anything fancy. Just to be together, uninterrupted, & have the energy & ability to give our undivided attention to each other. I have planned a weekend for us to be "home alone" in a few weeks. We can't really afford to go anywhere, & honestly I don't want to. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone else but Brian. It may sound selfish, but I don't want any phones, any visits, nada. I am not planning anything. We can sleep, watch movies, do something, do nothing. I don't care. He works so many hours & misses out on so much. We spent a week at Disney. Yes, he took a week off, but the only true time we had "alone" was a ride through the Haunted Mansion. I am not complaining, we had a great week. It was mainly for & about the kids. Now I want to give that same attention to my husband. For 48 hours I don't want to be distracted or exhausted from anyone or anything else.
I had Kierra when we met. 26 years later we are still raising children together. Neither of us would have it any other way, but that doesn't mean that we don't deserve to put each other first every once in a while. I don't NEED him all the time, every day. I WANT him all the time, every day, but sometimes the NEED is so great it hurts.
It doesn't have to be a weekend, but take the time to appreciate & truly "be with" the person you love. With or without kids, life can eat up all your time & energy. You know your partner loves you & you know they know you love them, but nothing replaces giving yourself & your time to the one you love. Nothing expensive, nothing fancy, just your time. You both not only WANT that from each other, you NEED that from each other.
We have a quote on the wall next to our bed, it says;
"Holding you, I hold everything" that is so true, all that I want & all that I need, rolled into one. So I will take the time to not just tell Brian that, but to show him that with my time & attention, just the two of us!
(HUGE Thank You to Terri, Dwight, Savanna, & Jess for being such great friends & such a great second family for the kids. We couldn't do it without you!)
P.S. It was a great idea, but once again life got in the way.. Brian ended up working & I had to move one of my horses, Reese, back up to Georgia.. so once again we got bumped to the back burner..
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
*IT* Happens...
some times more often than others..sh*t happens! Yesterday was one of those days. My phone was on the fritz, my GPS sent me to timbuktu, every time I needed to get out of my car it rained, Cali hurt her left front foot, Hunter left his window open & soaked the window frame, sill & carpet, Hunter has a sprained left wrist, (thankfully not broken..again!), the kids have been fighting non-stop, I had to take Hunter to an urgent appt. with his specialist, there was a glitch at the pharmacy when I tried filling his prescription, & on & on & on! Just another day in the Shore nuthouse!
Hunter has been taking medications for ADHD for about 2 years, & for the past year he has also been taking medication for Bipolar symptoms. (Bipolar isn't usually diagnosed until puberty, but he has all the symptoms of it.) His Dr. & I had decided to take him off all meds once school ended to cleanse his body & get a baseline of his behavior. I can usually handle Hunter, but I have to admit I was at my breaking point when I took him to his appt. yesterday. There is a big difference between "just being a boy" and the behaviors that Hunter exhibited when off his meds; he had emotional outbursts to the extreme. He became hysterical or enraged by trivial things. He broke things, or more often, cut things when he got mad or upset. there is no rhyme or reason as to what set him off. He became physical when playing or when he got mad. I could not leave him unsupervised at all. He made very unsafe choices, such as using a very sharp hunting knife he got out of a toolbox in the garage to cut a milk jug he was supposed to be putting in the recycle bin. He could have seriously hurt himself. He also jumped off the back end of his bunkbed trying to break his storage shelf because he was mad. That is when he hurt his wrist & we thought it was broken. He was also becoming more physical with the twins. I made sure they didn't play unsupervised to avoid them getting hurt. I would never put them or Hunter in danger. It is a hard admission for any parent to make.. that they are afraid their child is a danger to themselves or others. But it is what it is.. or was.. because I got him in to see his doc & he is now back on medication. It was a very rough month.
I think I was hoping there would be a magical change, a cure. That he would be unaffected by being off his meds. There wasn't. Those behaviors were out of control unmedicated. They are almost nonexistent when he is on medication. I wish he didn't have these conditions. I wish I could have done something to make it all better. I feel guilty that as his Mom I couldn't "save" him, or "protect" him from this. His Dr. reassures me that this is something no one, not even Hunter, can control without the help of medication. There is biological history of ADHD & Bipolar for Hunter. Unfortunately he has both. There isn't behavior modification for this. It isn't something he will outgrow. so we grab the bull by the horns & do what we have to do to help him, to do what needs to be done for him to learn & realize that medications are neccesary for him to fiunction to the best of his ability. But it sucks, it is not fair that at 8 years old he has to deal with this, as unfair as it was for him to lose his sister & gain 2 siblings when he was only a month shy of his 5th brithday. Life is rarely fair. You can overcome it or let it overcome you. Control freak that I am, I will overcome it, for him, with him, we will fight the fight and get this under control. He started back on medication today.
I would not trade Hunter, Tristan, or Alexa for any other child in the world. Anymore than I would trade having Kierra, Brianne & Chad. They are my heart and soul. They are why I get out of bed every day, even on the days like yesterday when I really don't want to! Yesterday was a bad day, but it was yesterday, not today, & hopefully not tomorrow. When the rare day like yesterday gets to me, I vow when that day ends the next day will be better, and so it is. We have the power to give in or get up. I got up yesterday & trudged through it, I got up today & walked a little stronger, & I will get up tomorrow be stronger still. Yesterday is over, done, finito.
It's irrefutable, undisputable... the fact is... *IT* happens!
Hunter has been taking medications for ADHD for about 2 years, & for the past year he has also been taking medication for Bipolar symptoms. (Bipolar isn't usually diagnosed until puberty, but he has all the symptoms of it.) His Dr. & I had decided to take him off all meds once school ended to cleanse his body & get a baseline of his behavior. I can usually handle Hunter, but I have to admit I was at my breaking point when I took him to his appt. yesterday. There is a big difference between "just being a boy" and the behaviors that Hunter exhibited when off his meds; he had emotional outbursts to the extreme. He became hysterical or enraged by trivial things. He broke things, or more often, cut things when he got mad or upset. there is no rhyme or reason as to what set him off. He became physical when playing or when he got mad. I could not leave him unsupervised at all. He made very unsafe choices, such as using a very sharp hunting knife he got out of a toolbox in the garage to cut a milk jug he was supposed to be putting in the recycle bin. He could have seriously hurt himself. He also jumped off the back end of his bunkbed trying to break his storage shelf because he was mad. That is when he hurt his wrist & we thought it was broken. He was also becoming more physical with the twins. I made sure they didn't play unsupervised to avoid them getting hurt. I would never put them or Hunter in danger. It is a hard admission for any parent to make.. that they are afraid their child is a danger to themselves or others. But it is what it is.. or was.. because I got him in to see his doc & he is now back on medication. It was a very rough month.
I think I was hoping there would be a magical change, a cure. That he would be unaffected by being off his meds. There wasn't. Those behaviors were out of control unmedicated. They are almost nonexistent when he is on medication. I wish he didn't have these conditions. I wish I could have done something to make it all better. I feel guilty that as his Mom I couldn't "save" him, or "protect" him from this. His Dr. reassures me that this is something no one, not even Hunter, can control without the help of medication. There is biological history of ADHD & Bipolar for Hunter. Unfortunately he has both. There isn't behavior modification for this. It isn't something he will outgrow. so we grab the bull by the horns & do what we have to do to help him, to do what needs to be done for him to learn & realize that medications are neccesary for him to fiunction to the best of his ability. But it sucks, it is not fair that at 8 years old he has to deal with this, as unfair as it was for him to lose his sister & gain 2 siblings when he was only a month shy of his 5th brithday. Life is rarely fair. You can overcome it or let it overcome you. Control freak that I am, I will overcome it, for him, with him, we will fight the fight and get this under control. He started back on medication today.
I would not trade Hunter, Tristan, or Alexa for any other child in the world. Anymore than I would trade having Kierra, Brianne & Chad. They are my heart and soul. They are why I get out of bed every day, even on the days like yesterday when I really don't want to! Yesterday was a bad day, but it was yesterday, not today, & hopefully not tomorrow. When the rare day like yesterday gets to me, I vow when that day ends the next day will be better, and so it is. We have the power to give in or get up. I got up yesterday & trudged through it, I got up today & walked a little stronger, & I will get up tomorrow be stronger still. Yesterday is over, done, finito.
It's irrefutable, undisputable... the fact is... *IT* happens!
Thursday, July 02, 2009
These Days..
These days.. life goes on
rambling with a mind of it's own
pulling me with it, like it or not
never caring where I'm thrown.
These days.. life goes on
with or without my consent
pulling me with it, like it or not
never caring if I'm spent.
These days.. life goes on
and I see more of the light
pulling me with it, like it or not
giving me back my sight.
These days.. life goes on
and it's music to my ears
pulling me with it, like it or not
as laughter drowns out my fears.
These days.. life goes on
knowing I'll never forget
pulling me with it, like it or not
I'm not done living yet.
MJS 7.2.09
rambling with a mind of it's own
pulling me with it, like it or not
never caring where I'm thrown.
These days.. life goes on
with or without my consent
pulling me with it, like it or not
never caring if I'm spent.
These days.. life goes on
and I see more of the light
pulling me with it, like it or not
giving me back my sight.
These days.. life goes on
and it's music to my ears
pulling me with it, like it or not
as laughter drowns out my fears.
These days.. life goes on
knowing I'll never forget
pulling me with it, like it or not
I'm not done living yet.
MJS 7.2.09
Family Dynamics
I know families that have only 1 child, I know families that have 6 or more children. I know a few that had very little trouble with their teenagers, very few! The norm seems to be that somewhere between 16 to 20 years old they decide to drive their parents crazy! The age of 16 wasn't so bad for us with the older three kids. 18-20 was the rough phase for us. The age where they figure they can do whatever they want, even if they are still living at home, because they are adults now...hahahahahahaha! If that were true they wouldn't need their parents to fix their problems, or pay their bills, or get them out of trouble.
The oldest child usually tends to be the hardest to deal with when these issues arise. It is the first time you have to handle that type of situation. It is a hit or miss scenario. We try to avoid how our parents handled things because when we were that age, our parents did everything wrong... right? We also want any younger siblings to learn from other's mistakes, and have to think ahead to when we have to deal with their possible teenage angst.
It isn't the same with every family, but I notice middle children tend to be more mature, & do tend to learn from their older siblings experiences. They also tend to be less demanding on us than our oldest or youngest children. They almost tend to be invisible. Not intentionally, never on purpose. But I think we go to autopilot sometimes when we have stress from one child eating up our emotional resources. The youngest child is "our baby", no matter how old they are. We tend to give in more, tend to allow more than we do with the older children, again, not on purpose. We feed all our emotions about them being our last baby, about the mistakes we made with our older children, into how we react & respond to them.
Chad kind of went from our youngest to sort of a "middle" child when we took in Hunter. That was quite a switch in dynamics. It changed things for him, for us. Kierra's death in itself was another major change for our family, then add the twins to the mix and WOW. Bringing other children into your home changes the dynamics just as much as giving birth to another child. No matter how old they are, your other child/children will react accordingly. The dynamics change wether you want them to or not!
Changes in any family, any type of change, makes the dynamics change too. When an oldest child moves out, the next in line kind of steps into that slot, becoming the "oldest" in the household. Then the domino affect happens and the whole family has to adjust to the change. Sometimes everyone steps into their new slot seemlessly, other times it is not so smooth & easy.
I could not go "back home" to my parent's house when I left Indiana & came back home. The dynamics had changed too much & there wasn't that same slot waiting for me to step back into it. I wanted, and expected to be the "oldest" with all the authority & priveleges that came with it.
But I had become a mother as well & I didn't fit into the slot of being anyone's child anymore. My younger siblings also weren't going to step back into the roles they had before I left. I had expected them to change back for me, I had to change to the way things were at that time, not before. It didn't last long. I moved elsewhere. That was probably for the best. They say you can't go back home again, in many ways I believe that is true. It was for me.
I see the families around me all going through different stages of what I have already been through with the older three children. I am not so eager to go through it all again with these younger three! I can hope I have learned from my previous experience. Yet every child is different, parenting every child is different. So I will do the best I can, which is all any of us can do. All the best to you & your family, whatever the dynamics are.
The oldest child usually tends to be the hardest to deal with when these issues arise. It is the first time you have to handle that type of situation. It is a hit or miss scenario. We try to avoid how our parents handled things because when we were that age, our parents did everything wrong... right? We also want any younger siblings to learn from other's mistakes, and have to think ahead to when we have to deal with their possible teenage angst.
It isn't the same with every family, but I notice middle children tend to be more mature, & do tend to learn from their older siblings experiences. They also tend to be less demanding on us than our oldest or youngest children. They almost tend to be invisible. Not intentionally, never on purpose. But I think we go to autopilot sometimes when we have stress from one child eating up our emotional resources. The youngest child is "our baby", no matter how old they are. We tend to give in more, tend to allow more than we do with the older children, again, not on purpose. We feed all our emotions about them being our last baby, about the mistakes we made with our older children, into how we react & respond to them.
Chad kind of went from our youngest to sort of a "middle" child when we took in Hunter. That was quite a switch in dynamics. It changed things for him, for us. Kierra's death in itself was another major change for our family, then add the twins to the mix and WOW. Bringing other children into your home changes the dynamics just as much as giving birth to another child. No matter how old they are, your other child/children will react accordingly. The dynamics change wether you want them to or not!
Changes in any family, any type of change, makes the dynamics change too. When an oldest child moves out, the next in line kind of steps into that slot, becoming the "oldest" in the household. Then the domino affect happens and the whole family has to adjust to the change. Sometimes everyone steps into their new slot seemlessly, other times it is not so smooth & easy.
I could not go "back home" to my parent's house when I left Indiana & came back home. The dynamics had changed too much & there wasn't that same slot waiting for me to step back into it. I wanted, and expected to be the "oldest" with all the authority & priveleges that came with it.
But I had become a mother as well & I didn't fit into the slot of being anyone's child anymore. My younger siblings also weren't going to step back into the roles they had before I left. I had expected them to change back for me, I had to change to the way things were at that time, not before. It didn't last long. I moved elsewhere. That was probably for the best. They say you can't go back home again, in many ways I believe that is true. It was for me.
I see the families around me all going through different stages of what I have already been through with the older three children. I am not so eager to go through it all again with these younger three! I can hope I have learned from my previous experience. Yet every child is different, parenting every child is different. So I will do the best I can, which is all any of us can do. All the best to you & your family, whatever the dynamics are.
Church Steps 7.1.1983
Brian & I had our 26th Anniversary yesterday. He had to work, I had the kids all day, so it was just another day for us. Greta watched the kids last night so Brian & I could have a "date". We went to a deli for a bite to eat, then went to see the movie "The Proposal". It is a very funny movie.( Funny enough I didn't mind seeing it a second time since I saw it Monday night with Terry & Greta!)
But the best part of the night for me was after the movie. Brian & I went to the truck to leave, but he told me to wait a minute.. he turned up the stereo & slow danced with me!
It was a song we used to dance to years ago. We had an agreement that whenever one of us played that song on our stereo we would stop what we were doing, meet in the living room & slow dance. The kids used to laugh at us & thought we were crazy!
So it wasn't so much a suprise that he remembered that, It was that he would do that in the middle of a parking lot. It earned him major brownie points! It wasn't an expensive evening, nothing fancy or flashy, but that few minutes in the parking lot are priceless to me!
But the best part of the night for me was after the movie. Brian & I went to the truck to leave, but he told me to wait a minute.. he turned up the stereo & slow danced with me!
It was a song we used to dance to years ago. We had an agreement that whenever one of us played that song on our stereo we would stop what we were doing, meet in the living room & slow dance. The kids used to laugh at us & thought we were crazy!
So it wasn't so much a suprise that he remembered that, It was that he would do that in the middle of a parking lot. It earned him major brownie points! It wasn't an expensive evening, nothing fancy or flashy, but that few minutes in the parking lot are priceless to me!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Cali June 29 2009
Cali has relaxed back into the household, obviously! She was sleeping on her back in this photo, which is a very relaxed, submissive way for a dog to sleep. She was calm & quiet the first couple days, now she is coming out of her shell & more like she used to be. We are trying to let her have free roam of the house. She has done very well so far. Other than trying to chew on the couch pillows while Brian was home with her last night! We are glad to have her back home!
6 Days at Disney!
Lots of pix added to the photo gallery..check them out! I didn't take my laptop so I was "offline" other than my phone. It was hot, hot, hot, but we had a good time. The twins were not so keen on riding anything they thought would be at all scary or too fast, so my limited ability to ride some of the rides wasn't such a bad thing. They averaged about half a day before they were done & ready to go back to the hotel & swim in the pool. We weren't on a set schedule, so whenever we all got up & got going worked out well. A couple things were closed, but there was still so much to do no one really noticed. We still have a day left on our passes, so I think we will wait for cooler weather to use it!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Carousel
Have you ever ridden on a carousel? You pick the one you want to ride on, you climb aboard all excited. The ride starts, everyone is laughing & having fun. Then you notice that your horse isn't moving like the others, your horse is slower and isn't really going anywhere. You notice you aren't riding up & down as fast as everyone else. How can you all be on the same ride yet be going at such different speeds? The ride is still fun, but it isn't the same when you notice you aren't keeping up with everyone else. Most of the others on the ride don't even notice.
Or are you one of the other riders? The ones who are going along just fine, having fun & enjoying the ride, not noticing that someone else isn't keeping up, isn't having as much fun?
Life can be like that sometimes... whichever side of the carousel you are riding on.
And other times, it is what it is... just a ride.
Or are you one of the other riders? The ones who are going along just fine, having fun & enjoying the ride, not noticing that someone else isn't keeping up, isn't having as much fun?
Life can be like that sometimes... whichever side of the carousel you are riding on.
And other times, it is what it is... just a ride.
Crazy Couple Days!
It has been a really crazy couple days! I have been running non-stop & am so worn out! Randy was in the hospital again.. he has alot going on, but they can't do any surgery to fix some of it until his infections are gone. he is so sick of being sick! He went home today so he can rest & get well before they decide what else they need to do. My brother Tommy came into town yesterday & should be going back to St. Pete tomorrow. I spent some time with him yesterday, then today I got some fairies like I have on my van for his van & put them on for him. He had wanted them & I was able to get them for him. He brought me an antique picture with an ornate cherry frame. It is of a mare & foal. I don't collect horse stuff, but will have to see if I can fit this in somewhere. It matches the office furniture..we'll see!
Brianne has a new dog at her house. A 6 month old Black Lab. She was one of the puppies born up at the stables where my horses are. A friend of mine got her, but they are moving into an apartment & couldn't keep her. She has settled right in at Brianne's like she has always been there. I may be getting Cali back next week. The woman who wanted her originally couldn't handle caring for her, there were some issues, so the woman who has Cali's sister has taken Cali in, but may not be able to keep her. I had hoped it was a good move for Cali, but it doesn't seem to be. It is so hard to trust that someone will love & care for a pet the way you would. We will see what happens next week.
Hunter has been at horse camp with Terri's nephew all week. He has a horse show tomorrow night. Mike spent the night over here Tuesday night, so Hunter is spending the night over there tonight. So it is just the twins & I. Brian has been working doubles all week so he can have next week off. We are going to spend the week at Disney with his brother & his family. There are special passes for the military right now, so with them having a timeshare, it is the only way we could afford to do something with the kids this summer. The kids are so excited. I am still pretty limited as to what physical stuff I can do, but am looking forward to some fun with the kids, & getting away from these walls for a few days! It will also be the only time Brian will be off & away from work to really enjoy being with us!
I have a to-do list that is getting longer & longer, so off I go to get something done!
Brianne has a new dog at her house. A 6 month old Black Lab. She was one of the puppies born up at the stables where my horses are. A friend of mine got her, but they are moving into an apartment & couldn't keep her. She has settled right in at Brianne's like she has always been there. I may be getting Cali back next week. The woman who wanted her originally couldn't handle caring for her, there were some issues, so the woman who has Cali's sister has taken Cali in, but may not be able to keep her. I had hoped it was a good move for Cali, but it doesn't seem to be. It is so hard to trust that someone will love & care for a pet the way you would. We will see what happens next week.
Hunter has been at horse camp with Terri's nephew all week. He has a horse show tomorrow night. Mike spent the night over here Tuesday night, so Hunter is spending the night over there tonight. So it is just the twins & I. Brian has been working doubles all week so he can have next week off. We are going to spend the week at Disney with his brother & his family. There are special passes for the military right now, so with them having a timeshare, it is the only way we could afford to do something with the kids this summer. The kids are so excited. I am still pretty limited as to what physical stuff I can do, but am looking forward to some fun with the kids, & getting away from these walls for a few days! It will also be the only time Brian will be off & away from work to really enjoy being with us!
I have a to-do list that is getting longer & longer, so off I go to get something done!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Cavatini Supreme
1 1/2 lbs Ground Chuck
1/2 med-large onion, chopped
2 tblsp butter
1 tblsp Garlic Powder
1 tblsp Italian seasoning
Salt & Pepper to taste
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
6 oz Pepperoni, sliced or chopped
1 32oz jar tomato sauce (your preference)
1 cup uncooked pasta twists
1 cup uncooked pasta shells
1 cup uncooked ziti pasta
8 ounces grated Mozzarella cheese
Saute onion in butter in large pan. Add ground beef, garlic powder, italian seasoning, salt, & pepper. Cook until done.
Drain off any excess fat.
Add mushrooms, & Pepperoni. Stir.
Add tomato sauce, stir well. Cook on low while you prepare pasta.
In large pot of salted, boiling water..add pasta twists & shells.
Cook for 2 minutes.
Add Ziti in with rest of pasta, cook all pasta for 9 minutes. Drain well.
Add Pasta to sauce mixture. stir well to combine all ingredients.
Place mixture in 13x9x2 baking dish.
Top with Mozzarella cheese.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes until hot & bubbly.
(Before baking you can freeze this recipe for future use. When you are ready to use it, thaw completely, bake uncovered 30-45 minutes)
1/2 med-large onion, chopped
2 tblsp butter
1 tblsp Garlic Powder
1 tblsp Italian seasoning
Salt & Pepper to taste
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
6 oz Pepperoni, sliced or chopped
1 32oz jar tomato sauce (your preference)
1 cup uncooked pasta twists
1 cup uncooked pasta shells
1 cup uncooked ziti pasta
8 ounces grated Mozzarella cheese
Saute onion in butter in large pan. Add ground beef, garlic powder, italian seasoning, salt, & pepper. Cook until done.
Drain off any excess fat.
Add mushrooms, & Pepperoni. Stir.
Add tomato sauce, stir well. Cook on low while you prepare pasta.
In large pot of salted, boiling water..add pasta twists & shells.
Cook for 2 minutes.
Add Ziti in with rest of pasta, cook all pasta for 9 minutes. Drain well.
Add Pasta to sauce mixture. stir well to combine all ingredients.
Place mixture in 13x9x2 baking dish.
Top with Mozzarella cheese.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes until hot & bubbly.
(Before baking you can freeze this recipe for future use. When you are ready to use it, thaw completely, bake uncovered 30-45 minutes)
Friday, June 12, 2009
There are Times...
There are times I can sweetly dream,
& you are right here with me.
There are times I can wake at dawn,
& relive when your life left me.
**********************************
There are times I can see the sun,
& it pushes the dark away.
There are times I can feel happy,
& it keeps the grief at bay.
**********************************
There are times I can move on,
& live the life before me.
Then there are the times......I cannot.
mjs 6.12.09
& you are right here with me.
There are times I can wake at dawn,
& relive when your life left me.
**********************************
There are times I can see the sun,
& it pushes the dark away.
There are times I can feel happy,
& it keeps the grief at bay.
**********************************
There are times I can move on,
& live the life before me.
Then there are the times......I cannot.
mjs 6.12.09
Thursday, June 11, 2009
All dressed up 6.9.09
Alexa just had to have her hair curled for her Pre-K graduation Tues. night, also on her mother's birthday. More pix in the gallery. She was in my room while I was getting ready and said she HAD to have jewelry for her graduation, so please could she wear some of mine. I let her go through my earrings. I have dozens with all types of styles & designs..she zeroed in on the dragonfly earrings & then just had to wear the dolphin heart necklace. Kierra loved anything with Dragonflys, and the dolphin necklace was hers. It really caught me off gaurd. Of course I let her wear them! We are very proud of her too!
Mr. Pre-K Graduate 6.9.09
Tristan had his Pre-K graduation Tuesday morning, June 9th. What would have been his mother's 28th birthday. It was a very bittersweet day. He was his usual self, constantly moving! There are other pix in the photo gallery. I am going to take tristan & Alexa for formal pix in their caps & gowns. we videotaped everything. I have a special part of the video to save for part of his high school graduation.. when he said his name he said "Tristan Jane-Marie Shore". I'm not sure he even realized he said Alexa's middle name instead of his, which is James. We are so proud of him!
Monday, June 08, 2009
I'll get through it..
I had a quiet, but long weekend. We didn't go anywhere & didn't really do anything. Brian worked all weekend, so it was just me & the kids. I think my mind is trying to get geared up for tomorrow. It would have been Kierra's 28th birthday. It is pre-school graduation for both Tristan (in the am) & Alexa (in the pm). So I have to put on my happy face & be around alot of people all day. I am so proud of them! I'll get through it. I have cried alot this morning, maybe subconciously I want to get it out of my system. I wish I could blame it on hormones, but I know this pain, I am familiar with the weight of my heart being crushed by it.
I know everyone means well.. It will get easier in time, She's in a better place, She would want you to get past it, move on... I get all that, thanks. The truth is, those are just words. There is no magic spell that can make this better. I know all that in my head, although I still don't buy the better place bit.. but my heart & my emotions sometimes have a will of their own. So I will surf the waves as they come, knowing I'll go under a time or two. Also knowing I'll come up for air, I'll get through it like I always do.
I know everyone means well.. It will get easier in time, She's in a better place, She would want you to get past it, move on... I get all that, thanks. The truth is, those are just words. There is no magic spell that can make this better. I know all that in my head, although I still don't buy the better place bit.. but my heart & my emotions sometimes have a will of their own. So I will surf the waves as they come, knowing I'll go under a time or two. Also knowing I'll come up for air, I'll get through it like I always do.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Bri & Brian 6-4-05
Her wedding day! Happy Anniversary to Brianne & Justin. I love this pic. It comes in second to the one when Brian danced with her to "Baby Mine", which was also her ballet recital song when she was 4. Our baby girl, all married & grown up!
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
My foreign body..
The world keeps spinning, going round & round. I feel like I am trying to keep up, but having to do everything in slow motion just throws me further & further behind! It has only been 3 weeks, it has been 3 whole weeks, either way there are still more weeks to go for my recovery & my patience with this foreign body of mine is running thin! I am not in control & we all know that does not bode well!
My oldest sister, Robyn, will be here tomorrow for a few days. She insisted on coming to help. I appreciate that to some extent, but I really don't know what she can help with. I am up & doing & getting things done. I have been off pain meds a week now, other than running the vacuum cleaner, I am back to doing what needs to be done. She will go to Greta's on fri night & fly home Saturday. Good thing we have a community pool & she likes to sunbathe or there wouldn't be anything for her to do! We used to have a close relationship, but issues changed that a number of years ago when our biological father died. It has been repaired some, but will never be what it was. Of course, no matter who it is, I feel like things need to be in order when someone is coming to visit. It just takes me so much longer to do everything, it gets frustrating!
The incision has healed well, but my insides are still sore, & a ways from being back to normal. It is strange to be limited by my body. It isn't something I am used to at all. So I will keep counting the days, & weeks until I am healed & can figure out what normal is for me again!
My oldest sister, Robyn, will be here tomorrow for a few days. She insisted on coming to help. I appreciate that to some extent, but I really don't know what she can help with. I am up & doing & getting things done. I have been off pain meds a week now, other than running the vacuum cleaner, I am back to doing what needs to be done. She will go to Greta's on fri night & fly home Saturday. Good thing we have a community pool & she likes to sunbathe or there wouldn't be anything for her to do! We used to have a close relationship, but issues changed that a number of years ago when our biological father died. It has been repaired some, but will never be what it was. Of course, no matter who it is, I feel like things need to be in order when someone is coming to visit. It just takes me so much longer to do everything, it gets frustrating!
The incision has healed well, but my insides are still sore, & a ways from being back to normal. It is strange to be limited by my body. It isn't something I am used to at all. So I will keep counting the days, & weeks until I am healed & can figure out what normal is for me again!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Blast from the past..almost 30 years!
I "know" alot of people. There are alot of different levels of "knowing". I do my blog thing here, I joined Myspace more to help Kierra's friends keep up with things too. The last holdout for me was joining Facebook. I knew nothing about it & figured it was just another Myspace. I finally joined & am so addicted to it. I even have it on my phone! It is the closest thing to grown-up contact I can get on such a frequent basis. I live a busy life. The few friends & family we have near us are very busy too. That leaves me with alot of kid time. Which, at times can be a blast, but not 24/7.
I had several people from high school contact me on FB (Facebook for the unknowing). I knew them, or knew "of them". It is great to reconnect with people who I may have otherwise never come accross again. Today I found someone I truly "knew" from back then. I wasn't sure they would remember me, but they did. It was fun to reconnect with someone who I had a genuine connection with so long ago. I have very dear friends from almost 30 years ago that I keep in touch with & am lucky to have close to me now. How wild it would be to not talk to them since way back then & just out of the blue one day say, "Hey, do you remember me?" & have them respond "WOW, yes I do"? I think part of that is because to me, I was invisible back then. I was among the un-noticed.
It was so funny several years ago, the girls & I went to one of the reunions that invited a couple years worth of Alumni, I think it was the 20th. Because I knew who all the popular people were (but never really "knew" them in school) & I am now fairly outgoing..haha.. they all thought I was someone significant. It was a blast. We are all grown up, in different worlds, but you put us all in a room & we tend to revert to who we were back then, or who we thought we were. We had a great time & I look forward to the next reunion. I think Brian's 30th should be this year, but we haven't heard anything about it. I'll have to check into it.
Anywho, this world is smaller than we think it is, & if we keep our eyes open, there's no telling what we'll see!
I had several people from high school contact me on FB (Facebook for the unknowing). I knew them, or knew "of them". It is great to reconnect with people who I may have otherwise never come accross again. Today I found someone I truly "knew" from back then. I wasn't sure they would remember me, but they did. It was fun to reconnect with someone who I had a genuine connection with so long ago. I have very dear friends from almost 30 years ago that I keep in touch with & am lucky to have close to me now. How wild it would be to not talk to them since way back then & just out of the blue one day say, "Hey, do you remember me?" & have them respond "WOW, yes I do"? I think part of that is because to me, I was invisible back then. I was among the un-noticed.
It was so funny several years ago, the girls & I went to one of the reunions that invited a couple years worth of Alumni, I think it was the 20th. Because I knew who all the popular people were (but never really "knew" them in school) & I am now fairly outgoing..haha.. they all thought I was someone significant. It was a blast. We are all grown up, in different worlds, but you put us all in a room & we tend to revert to who we were back then, or who we thought we were. We had a great time & I look forward to the next reunion. I think Brian's 30th should be this year, but we haven't heard anything about it. I'll have to check into it.
Anywho, this world is smaller than we think it is, & if we keep our eyes open, there's no telling what we'll see!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Chicken Cheese Lasagna
This is dinner for tonight. I just have to get motivated & get it made! Just like traditional lasagna, it is even better the next day!
CHICKEN-CHEESE LASAGNA
8 oz. lasagna, uncooked (about 9 or 10 noodles,)
2 c. cooked chicken, chopped
2 c. chicken broth
2 c. milk
1/2 c. flour
2 c. (16 oz.) Mozzarella cheese
1 c. grated Parmesan cheese
2 c. (16 oz.) cottage cheese (I use Ricotta Cheese)
2 (10 oz.) pkg. chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 med. onion, chopped (approximately 1/2 c.)
2 cloves garlic, crushed (I use garlic powder)
1/2 c. butter
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. oregano
Melt butter in saucepan, add flour, garlic, salt. Cook, stirring constantly until bubbly. Remove from heat. Add milk and chicken broth. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly, about 1 minute. Add onion, basil, oregano, pepper, 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, Mozzarella cheese, stirring until cheese melts.
In ungreased 9x13x2 inch rectangular pan, pour 1/4 of cheese sauce (approximately 1 1/2 cup). Layer 3 or 4 lasagna noodles, overlapping if necessary. Spread 1 cup of cottage cheese over noodles, 1/4 of cheese sauce, 3 or 4 noodles, 1 cup cottage cheese, chopped spinach, chopped chicken, 1/4 cheese sauce, 3 or 4 noodles, remaining cheese sauce, sprinkle 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese on top. (I also top with Mozzarella.) Bake in 350 degree oven about 35-40 minutes.
CHICKEN-CHEESE LASAGNA
8 oz. lasagna, uncooked (about 9 or 10 noodles,)
2 c. cooked chicken, chopped
2 c. chicken broth
2 c. milk
1/2 c. flour
2 c. (16 oz.) Mozzarella cheese
1 c. grated Parmesan cheese
2 c. (16 oz.) cottage cheese (I use Ricotta Cheese)
2 (10 oz.) pkg. chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 med. onion, chopped (approximately 1/2 c.)
2 cloves garlic, crushed (I use garlic powder)
1/2 c. butter
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. oregano
Melt butter in saucepan, add flour, garlic, salt. Cook, stirring constantly until bubbly. Remove from heat. Add milk and chicken broth. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly, about 1 minute. Add onion, basil, oregano, pepper, 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, Mozzarella cheese, stirring until cheese melts.
In ungreased 9x13x2 inch rectangular pan, pour 1/4 of cheese sauce (approximately 1 1/2 cup). Layer 3 or 4 lasagna noodles, overlapping if necessary. Spread 1 cup of cottage cheese over noodles, 1/4 of cheese sauce, 3 or 4 noodles, 1 cup cottage cheese, chopped spinach, chopped chicken, 1/4 cheese sauce, 3 or 4 noodles, remaining cheese sauce, sprinkle 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese on top. (I also top with Mozzarella.) Bake in 350 degree oven about 35-40 minutes.
It only hurts when I laugh!
*I had a huge debate w/ Hunter about "Double Dog Dares" & wether you HAVE to do them. After this intense discussion where he kept defending that you HAVE to do double dog dares, & I insisted you don't...he explained that was why he made his milk explode at lunch yesterday! ( I really had to work at not laughing! What he did was not funny, well, kind of, but the whole debate beforehand to help cover his own butt was!) I hope I convinced him to be his own person, that he can, & should, say NO when others try to get him to do something that he knows is wrong, or unsafe, or he just doesn't want to do. It is so hard to impress upon kids that what others think is not so important. Even at just 8 years old, he is influenced by the kids he spends his school day with. It is very important to him to be liked. I tried to reassure him & let him know, it is usually the kids who won't really be a good friend that try to get you to do things they know are wrong, or will get you into trouble. I wonder if it is a futile battle. But I will keep trying!
*Alexa caught Brian & I both by suprise last night. He walked in the door & before anyone else could say anything she ran up to him & said "Dad, we need to talk!" I was in the other room & couldn't help but laugh at how serious she sounded. I had no clue what was so important. He asked her to wait for him to get changed. The instant he came out of our room she was ready & waiting.... to tattle about something one of the boys had done! It had already been handled. She was just looking for some extra support & sympathy. Being Brian's Princess she thought he would defend her. He handled it well, but was thrilled I think that she thinks so much of him. I am so concerned how he will handle her manipulations when she is a teenager!
*We have been waiting for the Night at The Museum 2 movie to come out. The kids loved the previews & we have the first movie on DVD. Brian was off Monday so we met bri, Justin & some of his family at the theatre to see it. Tristan was sitting next to me. I almost choked on my popcorn when he quoted one of the lines that "The Thinker" sculpture says. He flexed his muscles & said "Boom, Boom, Firepowa". It was so funny because he said it when he saw the sculpture in the background of a scene..before the actual scene when he says it. He did it complete with accent..it was hilarious! He can be quite the mimic when he likes something. He picked up a word from the bobblehead Einsteins in the movie too, but I can't remember it. It is a long word, but it escapes me! I will post a note on here when I remember. (it wasn't Dumekopf)
(it was Vundeba!)
Now he is waiting for the movie "UP" because he likes Doug the Dog from the previews..I should make a DVD of kids movie previews & sell it as entertainment!
*Alexa caught Brian & I both by suprise last night. He walked in the door & before anyone else could say anything she ran up to him & said "Dad, we need to talk!" I was in the other room & couldn't help but laugh at how serious she sounded. I had no clue what was so important. He asked her to wait for him to get changed. The instant he came out of our room she was ready & waiting.... to tattle about something one of the boys had done! It had already been handled. She was just looking for some extra support & sympathy. Being Brian's Princess she thought he would defend her. He handled it well, but was thrilled I think that she thinks so much of him. I am so concerned how he will handle her manipulations when she is a teenager!
*We have been waiting for the Night at The Museum 2 movie to come out. The kids loved the previews & we have the first movie on DVD. Brian was off Monday so we met bri, Justin & some of his family at the theatre to see it. Tristan was sitting next to me. I almost choked on my popcorn when he quoted one of the lines that "The Thinker" sculpture says. He flexed his muscles & said "Boom, Boom, Firepowa". It was so funny because he said it when he saw the sculpture in the background of a scene..before the actual scene when he says it. He did it complete with accent..it was hilarious! He can be quite the mimic when he likes something. He picked up a word from the bobblehead Einsteins in the movie too, but I can't remember it. It is a long word, but it escapes me! I will post a note on here when I remember. (it wasn't Dumekopf)
(it was Vundeba!)
Now he is waiting for the movie "UP" because he likes Doug the Dog from the previews..I should make a DVD of kids movie previews & sell it as entertainment!
Dog Treat Recipes
My dog guru sis-in-law, Lisa sent me these for my lil sis Cricket to make for her new dog. I posted it on facebook & forgot to post it here!
DOG BISCUITS
Recipe #1
2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup powdered dry milk
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
6 tbs. margarine or shortening
1 beaten egg
1 tsp. brown sugar
1/2 cup ice water
Preheat oven to 350F.
Combine flour, dry milk, and sugar. Mix in margarine or shortening until mixture resembles cornmeal. Mix in egg. Add enough cold water so that the mixture forms a ball. Pat out dough 1/2" thick on an oiled cookie sheet. Cut with doggie biscuit cutter and remove scraps. Pat out scraps and cut with biscuit cutter as before. Bake for 25-30 minutes.
Recipe #2
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 cup grated Romano cheese
1 egg
1/2 cup plus 1 tsp. corn oil
1/2 cup chicken broth
Preheat oven to 350F.
Blend flour, cornmeal, garlic and cheese. In a small bowl beat egg with 1/4-cup oil and broth (use rest of oil to oil cookie sheet). Blend liquids into the dry ingredients with a fork. On an unfloured board work dough just enough to form a ball. Roll to 1/3" thickness. Cut biscuits and place on an oiled cookie sheet. Bake for 30 minutes.
DOG BISCUITS
Recipe #1
2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup powdered dry milk
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
6 tbs. margarine or shortening
1 beaten egg
1 tsp. brown sugar
1/2 cup ice water
Preheat oven to 350F.
Combine flour, dry milk, and sugar. Mix in margarine or shortening until mixture resembles cornmeal. Mix in egg. Add enough cold water so that the mixture forms a ball. Pat out dough 1/2" thick on an oiled cookie sheet. Cut with doggie biscuit cutter and remove scraps. Pat out scraps and cut with biscuit cutter as before. Bake for 25-30 minutes.
Recipe #2
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 cup grated Romano cheese
1 egg
1/2 cup plus 1 tsp. corn oil
1/2 cup chicken broth
Preheat oven to 350F.
Blend flour, cornmeal, garlic and cheese. In a small bowl beat egg with 1/4-cup oil and broth (use rest of oil to oil cookie sheet). Blend liquids into the dry ingredients with a fork. On an unfloured board work dough just enough to form a ball. Roll to 1/3" thickness. Cut biscuits and place on an oiled cookie sheet. Bake for 30 minutes.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Ham & Green Noodle Bake
Ham & Green Noodle Bake
1 Medium Onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
2 tblsp Margarine or Butter
2 Tblsp Flour
1/2 tsp Salt
1/4 tsp Pepper
1/4 tsp Dry Mustard
1 3/4 cups Milk
2 cups cut-up, fully cooked, Ham
1/2 cup shredded Swiss Cheese (about 2 ounces)
4 ounces uncooked Spinach Egg Noodles
2 tblsp Grated Parmesan Cheese
Garnish; (optional)
Twist of Lemon
Celery Leaves
Preheat Oven to 375 degrees.
Cook & stir onion in Margarine, (or butter), until tender.
Blend in flour, salt, pepper, & dry mustard.
Heat over low heat, stirring constantly, until bubbly; remove from heat.
Add milk; heat to boiling, stirring constantly.
Boil & stir 1 minute, then stir in ham & swiss cheese.
Cook noodles as directed on package; drain.
Alternate layers of noodles & sauce mixture in ungreased, 1 1/2 qt casserole dish, then sprinkle with parmesan cheese. *(I just mix it all together & use a 13x9x2 baking dish.)
Bake, uncovered, until bubbly & light brown, about 20 minutes.
Garnish with a twist of lemon & celery leaves if desired.
Makes 6 servings. About 260 calories per serving.
Had this in the freezer, made ahead. Thawed it out & dinner is done! One of Brian's favorites!
1 Medium Onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
2 tblsp Margarine or Butter
2 Tblsp Flour
1/2 tsp Salt
1/4 tsp Pepper
1/4 tsp Dry Mustard
1 3/4 cups Milk
2 cups cut-up, fully cooked, Ham
1/2 cup shredded Swiss Cheese (about 2 ounces)
4 ounces uncooked Spinach Egg Noodles
2 tblsp Grated Parmesan Cheese
Garnish; (optional)
Twist of Lemon
Celery Leaves
Preheat Oven to 375 degrees.
Cook & stir onion in Margarine, (or butter), until tender.
Blend in flour, salt, pepper, & dry mustard.
Heat over low heat, stirring constantly, until bubbly; remove from heat.
Add milk; heat to boiling, stirring constantly.
Boil & stir 1 minute, then stir in ham & swiss cheese.
Cook noodles as directed on package; drain.
Alternate layers of noodles & sauce mixture in ungreased, 1 1/2 qt casserole dish, then sprinkle with parmesan cheese. *(I just mix it all together & use a 13x9x2 baking dish.)
Bake, uncovered, until bubbly & light brown, about 20 minutes.
Garnish with a twist of lemon & celery leaves if desired.
Makes 6 servings. About 260 calories per serving.
Had this in the freezer, made ahead. Thawed it out & dinner is done! One of Brian's favorites!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
A long road..
Tha past 10 days have gone by in a kind of blur. One day seems pretty much the same as the day before. I have tons of nothing to do. I miss the kids, I miss driving, I miss sleeping in any position I want, I miss being able to do the simplest of tasks. And I have 4-5 more weeks to go! Even then, I will still be on restrictions, but alot of the daily tasks will be off the list. I am getting stronger day by day. Just taking a shower can wipe me out for a couple hours. I am trying to pace myself, but it is hard. I couldn't believe just cutting up some chicken put me in pain the other day. So I am being more careful. It is a long road, but I am walking it one step at a time!
Lobster, Crab, or Shrimp Bisque
From Paula Deen's The Lady & Son's Cookbook
I thought making bisque was going to be a big deal, one of those fussy recipes that takes alot of time. This was so easy & so very good! Brian likes texture to his soups so I didn't blend it at the end like she suggests. Sure to be a real crowd pleaser! Thanks to Brianne for bringing me fresh lobster from her trip to Maine. It doesn't make up for me not being able to go, but it sure makes being housebound easier to bear when there is Lobster Bisque to eat!
8 ounces of cooked crab, shrimp, or lobster meat
2 Tablespoons sherry, plus extra to taste
Pinch of thyme (I used dry, did fine)
3-4 green onions with tops, chopped
2 Tablespoons butter
One 10.5 oz can condensed tomato soup
1 soup can measure of milk
One 10.5 oz can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 soup can measure of heavy cream
Chopped fresh parsley for garnish (optional)
Finely chop crab, shrimp, or lobster meat & marinate for 30 minutes in 2 tablespoons of Sherry & the pinch of thyme. Saute' the onions in 2 tablespoons butter until soft. Add the crab, shrimp, or lobster meat & cook over low heat for 3-5 minutes. In a seperate bowl, combine tomato soup with 1 soup can measure of milk, then blend in cream of mushroom soup & 1 soup can measure of heavy cream. Add the combined soup mixture to the saute' of onions & crab, shrimp, or lobster meat. Stir well, simmer for 3-5 minutes on low heat. Add more sherry to personal preference. (I didn't find it needed more for our taste.) Cool, then mix in blender until thick & smooth. To serve, reheat in double boiler. Garnish with fresh parsley & serve.
(I don't have a double boiler. I used a non-stick pan on very low heat to reheat & it was fine.)
Enjoy!
I thought making bisque was going to be a big deal, one of those fussy recipes that takes alot of time. This was so easy & so very good! Brian likes texture to his soups so I didn't blend it at the end like she suggests. Sure to be a real crowd pleaser! Thanks to Brianne for bringing me fresh lobster from her trip to Maine. It doesn't make up for me not being able to go, but it sure makes being housebound easier to bear when there is Lobster Bisque to eat!
8 ounces of cooked crab, shrimp, or lobster meat
2 Tablespoons sherry, plus extra to taste
Pinch of thyme (I used dry, did fine)
3-4 green onions with tops, chopped
2 Tablespoons butter
One 10.5 oz can condensed tomato soup
1 soup can measure of milk
One 10.5 oz can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 soup can measure of heavy cream
Chopped fresh parsley for garnish (optional)
Finely chop crab, shrimp, or lobster meat & marinate for 30 minutes in 2 tablespoons of Sherry & the pinch of thyme. Saute' the onions in 2 tablespoons butter until soft. Add the crab, shrimp, or lobster meat & cook over low heat for 3-5 minutes. In a seperate bowl, combine tomato soup with 1 soup can measure of milk, then blend in cream of mushroom soup & 1 soup can measure of heavy cream. Add the combined soup mixture to the saute' of onions & crab, shrimp, or lobster meat. Stir well, simmer for 3-5 minutes on low heat. Add more sherry to personal preference. (I didn't find it needed more for our taste.) Cool, then mix in blender until thick & smooth. To serve, reheat in double boiler. Garnish with fresh parsley & serve.
(I don't have a double boiler. I used a non-stick pan on very low heat to reheat & it was fine.)
Enjoy!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Home
I came home last night. Settling in today. Trying to rest, eat right, & drink lots of fluids. Very limited on what I can do, walking is enough exertion for me right now. I am not a huge pain pill person. I am taking one rather than the 2 they say I can take. It usually makes me feel loopy & sick if I take 2, so one works for now. They ended up having to do the full open abdominal procedure which is more painful & more restrictive recovery. It is what it is, at least it is over & I am on the mend.
Lisa Spradlin came by to visit & check on me today. It was good to see her. Terri & Dwight brought the kids over. It was really good to see them & get some hugs. Dwight rescued an earring I dropped down my sink drain this morning, & he tried to set up a camera & skype on my laptop so I can communicate with the kids more while they are at their house. Have to find the driver for the camera. I hadn't thought of that, great idea!
Had to go online & handle some paperwork for my horses so thought I would update here real quick as well. I get tired so easy, & the pain can come on strong when I sit up for too long. I am not superwoman, & trust me, I do not want to prolong this recovery at all! I will keep in touch when I can. Thanks for all your thoughts & prayers. ttfn
Lisa Spradlin came by to visit & check on me today. It was good to see her. Terri & Dwight brought the kids over. It was really good to see them & get some hugs. Dwight rescued an earring I dropped down my sink drain this morning, & he tried to set up a camera & skype on my laptop so I can communicate with the kids more while they are at their house. Have to find the driver for the camera. I hadn't thought of that, great idea!
Had to go online & handle some paperwork for my horses so thought I would update here real quick as well. I get tired so easy, & the pain can come on strong when I sit up for too long. I am not superwoman, & trust me, I do not want to prolong this recovery at all! I will keep in touch when I can. Thanks for all your thoughts & prayers. ttfn
Monday, May 11, 2009
Surgery & Recovery..
I will be having a total abdominal hysterectomy today at 2:30. They are doing the open abdominal method instead of a laparoscopic method so I will be in the hospital a bit longer & my recovery will be a bit more restricted & extended than I had originally planned. But it is what it is so onward we go!
If all goes well, & I am sure it will, I should come home from the hospital on Thursday afternoon. I will try to keep in touch with everyone in the next day or so, depending on how I feel. I will have plenty of time to blog during my recovery, so I will catch up on things then.
If all goes well, & I am sure it will, I should come home from the hospital on Thursday afternoon. I will try to keep in touch with everyone in the next day or so, depending on how I feel. I will have plenty of time to blog during my recovery, so I will catch up on things then.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Fun in the Sun
Today Brian & I took the kids to the Fernandina Shrimp Festival. We used to go as a family with the older 3 kids & then with Hunter when he came along.We haven't been able to climb over the hurdle of grief since Kierra died to all go together. I think Bri & I came last year. So this was a big step for Brian to go. It was a good day. As with everything we do with the kids that we used to do with the older ones, it was different, and we are different too. And sometimes that can be a good thing. It helps us make new memories, it helps soothe the pain that can come when we are reminded of what we have lost.
Memories like these;
Tristan gave us a new word..Whisbee. That is his version of frisbee. Even when we told him the correct way to say it, he stuck with Whisbee!
Alexa tends to be "in charge". When we were driving home she was heard saying "Boys, I am talking now, boys..I am talking!" (I thought for a moment she was channeling her mother!)
So it was a great day! And to finish it off I am going to see Wicked (the musical) with Brianne tonight. It is my un-mother's day gift from her. More memories to make!
Memories like these;
Tristan gave us a new word..Whisbee. That is his version of frisbee. Even when we told him the correct way to say it, he stuck with Whisbee!
Alexa tends to be "in charge". When we were driving home she was heard saying "Boys, I am talking now, boys..I am talking!" (I thought for a moment she was channeling her mother!)
So it was a great day! And to finish it off I am going to see Wicked (the musical) with Brianne tonight. It is my un-mother's day gift from her. More memories to make!
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Seeing Both Sides..
I talk alot about parenting, mostly because that is the focus of my life right now.. again.. still. But I have not always been a parent. Some younger people may think I don't know what it is like to have parents who don't understand. I do not speak of what I do not know.
I worked & went to school. I didn't do much else & didn't have a car. But I did have a boyfriend, one they didn't approve of. Most parents don't approve of anyone when their daughter is only 16 years old! I babysat my younger brother & sister because both my parents worked full time. I did the majority of house chores for the same reason. By the way.. we did not have a dishwasher, were not allowed to use the dryer..so everything got hung on a clothesline, and although we lived in central Florida, we did not have central air conditioning. I was not allowed to have anyone over & I was not allowed to go to anyone else's house. Life was not fun & it was not easy. I moved out of my parent's house on my 17th birthday while they were at work. I left after several weeks of constant conflict & ultimatums.
It wasn't much more fun or any easier when I left their home & moved in with my boyfriend. I thought it would be, I thought I had all the answers. I had alot of hard lessons to learn & did not have my parents help or support to learn them. I didn't speak to them for several months. It changed our relationship forever.
I may not always agree with how my parents did things, or sometimes how they do things still. But they did the best they could with what they had. I always said I would never have so many kids. My mother had 7. I will have raised 6 including the twins. Never say never!
I love my parents, I am who I am because of them, good, bad & indifferent. All the parts of my life have molded me into the person I am today. Even the bad parts. I see things from a different perspective than I did on my 17th birthday. I thought alot about my struggles back then when I was making decisions about my children during the difficult teenage years. I could have shyed from what I felt we needed to do because I didn't want my children to suffer or struggle. But they had a part in those choices as well.
Life is a constant struggle, wether we are thriving or just surviving. I have 3 more children to raise up through those teenage years. Every child has been different, and I know these 3 will have their own challenges & obstacles to get through. I am not sure what those years will be like. I do know I will do the best I can for them, and for us. Whatever may come.
I worked & went to school. I didn't do much else & didn't have a car. But I did have a boyfriend, one they didn't approve of. Most parents don't approve of anyone when their daughter is only 16 years old! I babysat my younger brother & sister because both my parents worked full time. I did the majority of house chores for the same reason. By the way.. we did not have a dishwasher, were not allowed to use the dryer..so everything got hung on a clothesline, and although we lived in central Florida, we did not have central air conditioning. I was not allowed to have anyone over & I was not allowed to go to anyone else's house. Life was not fun & it was not easy. I moved out of my parent's house on my 17th birthday while they were at work. I left after several weeks of constant conflict & ultimatums.
It wasn't much more fun or any easier when I left their home & moved in with my boyfriend. I thought it would be, I thought I had all the answers. I had alot of hard lessons to learn & did not have my parents help or support to learn them. I didn't speak to them for several months. It changed our relationship forever.
I may not always agree with how my parents did things, or sometimes how they do things still. But they did the best they could with what they had. I always said I would never have so many kids. My mother had 7. I will have raised 6 including the twins. Never say never!
I love my parents, I am who I am because of them, good, bad & indifferent. All the parts of my life have molded me into the person I am today. Even the bad parts. I see things from a different perspective than I did on my 17th birthday. I thought alot about my struggles back then when I was making decisions about my children during the difficult teenage years. I could have shyed from what I felt we needed to do because I didn't want my children to suffer or struggle. But they had a part in those choices as well.
Life is a constant struggle, wether we are thriving or just surviving. I have 3 more children to raise up through those teenage years. Every child has been different, and I know these 3 will have their own challenges & obstacles to get through. I am not sure what those years will be like. I do know I will do the best I can for them, and for us. Whatever may come.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Have an umbrella handy..
I have been hunting through old posts, (there are 852 of them!) thinking I could just repost something I had already written. But none of them said quite the same thing as I wanted to say. It was good to read back over some, emotional to read back over others. I just put in search blog for things like "choices", "respect", etc. to see what was there.
I had a discussion recently about the choices I made with Kierra when we were going through some rough times with her. At one point we had to make the choice to have her move out. Yes, "had to". She was 18, in her senior year of high school. We had several discussions with her about house rules & her behavior. She chose to continue to break those rules & disrespect us. I had 2 other younger teenagers watching & learning from her and had to decide to give in & let them all run rampant, or give her the final choice to shape up or ship out. She chose the choice which resulted in her having to move out. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. It broke my heart. I was asked if I regretted that or felt guilty. I wish it hadn't been necessary. But I honestly believe we would have lost her sooner if that hadn't happened. She was on a destructive path & there was nothing else we could do that would have stopped her. It took her years to get herself to a responsible point in her life. But I was proud of her choices as she got older. Not all of them , but most of them. I am proud of her choices with the twins. Both having them & wanting to make a better life for them.
That wasn't the only time we had to make a difficult choice with Kierra as a parent. I believe those choices also made a big difference with Brianne & Chad as they got older. All choices have a domino effect, both good & bad ones. Parenting is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. It doesn't always allow us to be their friends. It sometimes breaks our hearts to do what is best for them.
The rewards aren't always what we expected or wanted them to be. Most days it can be the hardest thing we have ever done. But some days it feeds our soul, it brings light to a heart that is heavy with darkness. Some days it gives us a reason to get out of bed, (yes, some days it makes us not want to get out of bed either!)But it gives us a reason to breathe our next breath.
No one ever said it would be easy. No one ever gave us a hand book on how to raise the perfect child & be the perfect parent. So we take it one day at a time, one breath at a time, one step at a time. The important thing is..keep breathing, keep walking forward, keep going, there is light at the end of that tunnel, there is light in that life you created. Even if it looks dark today, there is light in there somewhere, and at some point it will shine. Just have an umbrella handy for the rainy days when it feels like it is pouring down all around you!
I had a discussion recently about the choices I made with Kierra when we were going through some rough times with her. At one point we had to make the choice to have her move out. Yes, "had to". She was 18, in her senior year of high school. We had several discussions with her about house rules & her behavior. She chose to continue to break those rules & disrespect us. I had 2 other younger teenagers watching & learning from her and had to decide to give in & let them all run rampant, or give her the final choice to shape up or ship out. She chose the choice which resulted in her having to move out. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. It broke my heart. I was asked if I regretted that or felt guilty. I wish it hadn't been necessary. But I honestly believe we would have lost her sooner if that hadn't happened. She was on a destructive path & there was nothing else we could do that would have stopped her. It took her years to get herself to a responsible point in her life. But I was proud of her choices as she got older. Not all of them , but most of them. I am proud of her choices with the twins. Both having them & wanting to make a better life for them.
That wasn't the only time we had to make a difficult choice with Kierra as a parent. I believe those choices also made a big difference with Brianne & Chad as they got older. All choices have a domino effect, both good & bad ones. Parenting is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. It doesn't always allow us to be their friends. It sometimes breaks our hearts to do what is best for them.
The rewards aren't always what we expected or wanted them to be. Most days it can be the hardest thing we have ever done. But some days it feeds our soul, it brings light to a heart that is heavy with darkness. Some days it gives us a reason to get out of bed, (yes, some days it makes us not want to get out of bed either!)But it gives us a reason to breathe our next breath.
No one ever said it would be easy. No one ever gave us a hand book on how to raise the perfect child & be the perfect parent. So we take it one day at a time, one breath at a time, one step at a time. The important thing is..keep breathing, keep walking forward, keep going, there is light at the end of that tunnel, there is light in that life you created. Even if it looks dark today, there is light in there somewhere, and at some point it will shine. Just have an umbrella handy for the rainy days when it feels like it is pouring down all around you!
Monday, April 27, 2009
New surgery date.
May 11th at 2:20 pm. I got a med list straight from the hospital & have stopped the meds they want stopped. I have new presurgical appts. with all my docs.(although that doesn't seem to do much good since I did that last week & they forgot to take me off those meds!!) So I will get things ready again and we'll see how it all goes between now & then!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
surgery cancelled for 2 weeks
It has been a crazy week with field trips, school projects & getting ready for my surgery. Then Friday afternoon I found out my surgery has to be cancelled & rescheduled for 2 weeks form now. I have meds that I should have stopped taking 2 weeks prior to surgery, but no one told me. So now I have to reschedule the whole thing. They will let me know tomorrow when the new surgery date is. I am glad the anesthesiologist caught it, he actually refused to do the surgery until I had been off the meds for 2 weeks. I understand why, just am major mad that neither my specialist or my primary Dr.s caught it & have wasted my time. I will update ya'll as I know what is going on. Just more chaos to add to the mix! Same stuff different day.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Game Basket for Hunter's Class
This is one of two baskets I have been working on for the boy's school. I am room Mom for each class & no one else offered. I did get a Mom from Tristan's class who is helping me with his. We will finish that one up tomorrow. It is a much bigger "basket"! I am glad it is just about done! I can't imagine how crazy it will be next year with all 3 kids attending the same school!!
The Karate Kids 4.20.09
Alexa has decided to do Karate instead of dance. I figured she would. She earned her white belt by the end of her first class! The boys better watch out, she may get her black belt before they do!
Baskets, a break, & crazy coincidence..
Hunter & Tristan's school is having a BBQ/Basket Auction. Actually they changed it to a Basket Raffle. There are baskets filled with everything from Coffee to gardening stuff (they fill up a wheelbarrow!). Tristan's class is doing Camping & Hunter's is Family Game Night. Thankfully another Mom is helping me with Tristan's so I don't have to do everything for both! I have been busy gathering all the stuff and putting the basket together this morning. I ended up using a laundry basket for the games because the storage bin I got is too small. The school receptionist saved us on that one because I only got 2 parents who donated from the class. Pam bought & donated 6 board games, & I picked up a bunch of stuff too. We are using a cooler on wheels for the Camping stuff, it is going to be awesome! We had alot of participation from the parents for that one.
I decided to take a break, eat a popsicle, & put my feet up for a few minutes. I flipped on the TV & guess what was on? That movie Dragonfly that was also on in the wee hours of this morning. The one I just blogged about in my last post. I am not watching it again. It was at the same spot in the movie as when I turned it on last night. Crazy coincidence, huh?
I decided to take a break, eat a popsicle, & put my feet up for a few minutes. I flipped on the TV & guess what was on? That movie Dragonfly that was also on in the wee hours of this morning. The one I just blogged about in my last post. I am not watching it again. It was at the same spot in the movie as when I turned it on last night. Crazy coincidence, huh?
Dragonflies..
There are many times I don't sleep at night, like now, when all is quiet & my mind & body won't let me rest. I find quiet things to do. Tonight, after I cleaned the kitchen from a major cooking marathon today, I did a couple Sudoku puzzles, got the kid's backpacks ready for tomorrow, filled out some pre-registration forms for the boy's school term in the fall, filled out a field trip form, updated my calendar, & posted some pix to my photo gallery. During all this I occasionally flip through channels on the TV to see what is on. In the wee hours of this morning I found a movie that I have seen many, many times. It seems to be on often in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. It is the movie "Dragonfly" with Kevin Costner. It is about his wife dying in an accident in a foreign country working for the Red Cross. He thinks he is getting messages from her. (there is more to it than that, but this is the condensed version) In the end he travels to where she died and ends up in a remote village cut off from civilization. The natives tell him they knew his wife when she was alive. They couldn't save her body, but they saved her soul. They take him into a hut and there he finds his baby girl who was born premature and somehow survived. One of the main "signs" he kept getting from his wife was a dragonfly. The baby had a birthmark shaped like a dragonfly. It is one of those sad movies with a happy ending.
Of course it reminds me of Kie. She loved Dragonflies. They always remind me of her. I do believe there are "signs" of different sorts if we are open to it & pay attention. Not quite as extreme as in the movie, but I do believe. I like the idea that the baby is her soul. I like to think a part of Kie's soul is in each of her children. There are alot of little, subtle things I like to think are Kie saying hello. They may not be, but it works for me.
I have mentioned before about Mada's song, "I can only Imagine" coming on the radio several times on every station I changed it to on the day Kierra died. I don't hear it often, but when I do, I think of Mada. (I know this will be TMI, but there is a point to it!) The other night I was waiting for Brian to come home. I lit candles, put on something new & silky, turned on the radio to the easy listening station and lay there waiting. Mada's song is a religious song, it does not usually come on the stations I listen to. It came on while I was laying there & I immediately thought.."Mada, just like my kids, you have poor timing to interrupt my mood, & you're too young to know about this anyway!" Then I realized she would have been 21 years old on April 16th. She passed when she was 15. I tend to forget she would have been old enough to know quite a bit, & would have probably taught us a thing or two! She would have probably thought it funny that at my age I was waiting for my husband with all the trappings set up for him. I enjoyed those moments "with" her and the image it gave me of the young woman she would have become. Then I told her it was time for Brian to come home, she needed to go visit someone else!
Was it a "sign"? However you think of it, it was a connection for me to her, and my thoughts & memories of her. It is the same with the things that remind me of Kierra. Not just when I choose to think of her, but whenever I get any type of "sign" or "message" that gets my attention. Like Dragonflies..
Of course it reminds me of Kie. She loved Dragonflies. They always remind me of her. I do believe there are "signs" of different sorts if we are open to it & pay attention. Not quite as extreme as in the movie, but I do believe. I like the idea that the baby is her soul. I like to think a part of Kie's soul is in each of her children. There are alot of little, subtle things I like to think are Kie saying hello. They may not be, but it works for me.
I have mentioned before about Mada's song, "I can only Imagine" coming on the radio several times on every station I changed it to on the day Kierra died. I don't hear it often, but when I do, I think of Mada. (I know this will be TMI, but there is a point to it!) The other night I was waiting for Brian to come home. I lit candles, put on something new & silky, turned on the radio to the easy listening station and lay there waiting. Mada's song is a religious song, it does not usually come on the stations I listen to. It came on while I was laying there & I immediately thought.."Mada, just like my kids, you have poor timing to interrupt my mood, & you're too young to know about this anyway!" Then I realized she would have been 21 years old on April 16th. She passed when she was 15. I tend to forget she would have been old enough to know quite a bit, & would have probably taught us a thing or two! She would have probably thought it funny that at my age I was waiting for my husband with all the trappings set up for him. I enjoyed those moments "with" her and the image it gave me of the young woman she would have become. Then I told her it was time for Brian to come home, she needed to go visit someone else!
Was it a "sign"? However you think of it, it was a connection for me to her, and my thoughts & memories of her. It is the same with the things that remind me of Kierra. Not just when I choose to think of her, but whenever I get any type of "sign" or "message" that gets my attention. Like Dragonflies..
alexa with her rose bush 4.18.09
Alexa got to spend the night at Greta's Friday night. Then they went shopping for flowers to plant. Alexa picked this purple rose bush. Those were Kierra's favorite. She had a blast planting flowers with her Nana. Greta even got her Dora gardening gloves and tools. She's not spoiled at all is she?!
I also posted the boy's Spring School pix onthe photo gallery, so as usual, click on this pic to go to the gallery and check them out!
I also posted the boy's Spring School pix onthe photo gallery, so as usual, click on this pic to go to the gallery and check them out!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Time keeps on ticking..
Time flies by & I can't keep up! Between the boy's karate classes, a major project for each of the boy's classes, preparing for my surgery on the 28th, & all the day to day stuff..I am running non-stop! Of course, as Savannah says.."that's how I roll"..LOL. I am trying to keep up with the lingo so I am not considered totally archaic when the kids hit the teen years! Which, the way life speeds by, will be any day now!
I keep reminding myself that getting through the next 6-8 weeks will get me healthier than I have been in years. My Dr. says alot of the health issues that have plagued me for years can be tracked back to these tumors and the anemia. It makes sense, I just can't imagine being rid of all the ailments that the Dr.s couldn't seem to resolve for me before. A hysterectomy is major surgery, I get that. But I am not nervous or worried about it. I am relieved to finally have answers and an end in sight. I have had many surgeries, so I guess that takes away some of the fear factor for me. I am not concerned about the surgery itself, I am not looking forward to how badly I react to anesthesia. I have an appt. with the anesthesiologist before the day of sx to see what can be done to alleviate some of my bad reactions. Knowing myself, I have to say I am worried about complying to all the restrictions I will have during the 6-8 week recovery process.
My head accepts that it isn't the actual surgery I will be recovering from, it is the gaping hole in my body where my organs have to resettle & support each other since my uterus won't be there to do the job. My mind knows the importance of that. My mind understands how important it is.
My mind also knows how crazy it will drive me that I can't even push the vaccum cleaner for 6 weeks. Some of you are thinking..Vaccum? how strenuous is that? I thought the same thing. Then my Doc had me tighten & hold in my stomach muscles the entire time while vaccuming. Then release those muscles when done. I never knew how much you use your abdominal muscles to vaccum! The same with lifting & carrying any amount of clothes in a laundry basket. Those are such trivial tasks to me. I have to keep reminding myself that doing this right will directly affect how completely I recover and what my general health will be when all is said & done.
I am supposed to be on limited activity now. I have not been horse back riding or kayaking. I have not been taking walks or running any marathons. That is about as limited as I can get. In a fantasy world I would have someone else to clean house, do laundry, taxi the kids to school, karate, appts., cook, etc. In my world it is usually a one woman show. I have wonderful friends & family who help when they can. I have a husband who works way too much and tries to do what he can when he is home. But the reality of it is.. I am it. And that's okay. I am not complaining. I am trying to convince myself that I can change all that for 6-8 weeks. See..doesn't sound so easy does it? I will do what I have to do to recover the best way possible. I will remove the vaccum cleaner from the house if I have to (and I might!).
That is the part I worry about. Not being in the hospital, not the actual surgery, not the pain. I worry about not being able to do what I've always done, what needs to be done. I worry that I will screw up my recovery and cause complications. The control freak that I am is having a hard time accepting that I will not have control of everything around me, I will have to control myself. As those who love me can attest..I do not do that well!
It will be interesting to see if this changes me long term. If this makes me different somehow. It takes 21 days to create a habit. 21 times of repeating something for it to stick. So what will I change about myself in 42-56 days? Just the idea of it already gives me way too much time to think!
I keep reminding myself that getting through the next 6-8 weeks will get me healthier than I have been in years. My Dr. says alot of the health issues that have plagued me for years can be tracked back to these tumors and the anemia. It makes sense, I just can't imagine being rid of all the ailments that the Dr.s couldn't seem to resolve for me before. A hysterectomy is major surgery, I get that. But I am not nervous or worried about it. I am relieved to finally have answers and an end in sight. I have had many surgeries, so I guess that takes away some of the fear factor for me. I am not concerned about the surgery itself, I am not looking forward to how badly I react to anesthesia. I have an appt. with the anesthesiologist before the day of sx to see what can be done to alleviate some of my bad reactions. Knowing myself, I have to say I am worried about complying to all the restrictions I will have during the 6-8 week recovery process.
My head accepts that it isn't the actual surgery I will be recovering from, it is the gaping hole in my body where my organs have to resettle & support each other since my uterus won't be there to do the job. My mind knows the importance of that. My mind understands how important it is.
My mind also knows how crazy it will drive me that I can't even push the vaccum cleaner for 6 weeks. Some of you are thinking..Vaccum? how strenuous is that? I thought the same thing. Then my Doc had me tighten & hold in my stomach muscles the entire time while vaccuming. Then release those muscles when done. I never knew how much you use your abdominal muscles to vaccum! The same with lifting & carrying any amount of clothes in a laundry basket. Those are such trivial tasks to me. I have to keep reminding myself that doing this right will directly affect how completely I recover and what my general health will be when all is said & done.
I am supposed to be on limited activity now. I have not been horse back riding or kayaking. I have not been taking walks or running any marathons. That is about as limited as I can get. In a fantasy world I would have someone else to clean house, do laundry, taxi the kids to school, karate, appts., cook, etc. In my world it is usually a one woman show. I have wonderful friends & family who help when they can. I have a husband who works way too much and tries to do what he can when he is home. But the reality of it is.. I am it. And that's okay. I am not complaining. I am trying to convince myself that I can change all that for 6-8 weeks. See..doesn't sound so easy does it? I will do what I have to do to recover the best way possible. I will remove the vaccum cleaner from the house if I have to (and I might!).
That is the part I worry about. Not being in the hospital, not the actual surgery, not the pain. I worry about not being able to do what I've always done, what needs to be done. I worry that I will screw up my recovery and cause complications. The control freak that I am is having a hard time accepting that I will not have control of everything around me, I will have to control myself. As those who love me can attest..I do not do that well!
It will be interesting to see if this changes me long term. If this makes me different somehow. It takes 21 days to create a habit. 21 times of repeating something for it to stick. So what will I change about myself in 42-56 days? Just the idea of it already gives me way too much time to think!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Hoppy Easter!
I finished loading up the kid's baskets and could not sleep. I went through our photo albums and came across some Old Easter Photos I thought you would all enjoy. There are more in the photo gallery, so click on this pic, or the link on the right side bar to get there.
I have filled alot of baskets over the years. We have celebrated all over the country and as far away as England. We have been fortunate to spend some of those Easters with precious friends and family along the way.
I look back at the Easter when this photo was taken and never imagined I would ever celebrate an Easter without her. In a few hours her children will wake up and rush to see what the Easter Bunny brought them. I never imagined I would be the one filling their baskets.
I look at the other photos I posted and can't believe Brianne will open her basket (yes I made her one!) in her own home with her husband of almost 4 years. I can't believe Chad is on the other side of the country & I wonder if he got his basket full of candy I sent him in time for Easter morning. It doesn't matter how old or how grown they get, I always fill their baskets too.
It won't be the same today. Not just because Kie isn't here. Brianne is at her house, I will take the kids to her to go to church. Brian has to work all day and has to leave early this morning. Chad will still be fast asleep being 3 hours behind and on his own now too.
Terry Moore is coming up, she should be here by early afternoon. I am looking forward to her visit. (I even made her a basket too!) We are having dinner at Terri & Dwight's. Bri, Justin, & the kids will meet us there.
It will be a good day, just different.
Now, not then.
Here, not there.
just different.
I have filled alot of baskets over the years. We have celebrated all over the country and as far away as England. We have been fortunate to spend some of those Easters with precious friends and family along the way.
I look back at the Easter when this photo was taken and never imagined I would ever celebrate an Easter without her. In a few hours her children will wake up and rush to see what the Easter Bunny brought them. I never imagined I would be the one filling their baskets.
I look at the other photos I posted and can't believe Brianne will open her basket (yes I made her one!) in her own home with her husband of almost 4 years. I can't believe Chad is on the other side of the country & I wonder if he got his basket full of candy I sent him in time for Easter morning. It doesn't matter how old or how grown they get, I always fill their baskets too.
It won't be the same today. Not just because Kie isn't here. Brianne is at her house, I will take the kids to her to go to church. Brian has to work all day and has to leave early this morning. Chad will still be fast asleep being 3 hours behind and on his own now too.
Terry Moore is coming up, she should be here by early afternoon. I am looking forward to her visit. (I even made her a basket too!) We are having dinner at Terri & Dwight's. Bri, Justin, & the kids will meet us there.
It will be a good day, just different.
Now, not then.
Here, not there.
just different.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Having Surgery Soon
I have had health issues for quite some time..nothing real major, just this & that, always something out of whack. Usually it was blamed on my weight. Since Aug. 28th I have lost a little over 45 lbs. The health issues persisted, so they finally started looking into what was going on. I am now having surgery on April 28th. I have female issues, fibroid tumors, which are quite common, along with a bunch of cysts which are common as well. The combination of those, along with a 3rd tumor on the outside of my uterus, caused some major blood loss & anemia. They did biopsies and they all came back clear & okay, so that is a relief. I will be in much better shape after the Hysterectomy on the 28th. There is a long recovery period, but I am looking forward to the end result of being healthier than I have been in a long time.
Karate Boys 4.8.09
Hunter used to take Karate classes. When we were in the midst of moving it got set aside. We had prepaid for Hunter to be in the black belt program, which is a longer, more detailed training program. I stopped by with the boys the other day to see what we needed to do to get Hunter back in the program. His instructor said he would reinstate the program, giving us back the credit for the 2 years he has been out. He also offered to add Tristan to the program free of charge because they are offering a 2 for 1 deal right now and would make it part of the reinstatement. We could not have afforded it otherwise, so it is such an awesome thing for him to do that for us. Alot of Hunter's gear still fits him and the things that don't, fit Tristan. We need to get some additional gear for the stuff they can't share, but they have started and love it! Tristan seems to catch on fast, & Hunter is remembering most of it. Hunter had just earned his Camouflage belt when he stopped, so he will start back at that level. Tristan is starting on his white belt, which he should have presented at the next class. Now I have to see about dance or gymnastic classes for Alexa!
Ashley, Jon, and the kids 4.4.09
Our Niece, Ashley, & her boyfriend, Jon came to visit over the weekend. We had such a good time. She goes to college in orlando. They really handled the kids well.. she will make a great teacher!
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Cheeseburger Meat Loaf
*A Paula Deen, Lady & Sons recipe. A real crowd pleaser. I sometimes omit the onion & bell pepper & add some onion powder if I am feeding picky eaters, comes out great either way. I also use "Morton Nature's Seasoning" in place of the House Seasoning listed in the recipe. There is also a sauce to go with it, (recipe below) but it is just as good without it. Serves 6-8.
INGREDIENTS
2 lbs Ground Beef (I use about a lb beef, and a lb pork)
2 tsp House Seasoning (recipe below)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium bell pepper, chopped
1 cup grated Cheddar Cheese
1/4 cup Worcestershire Sauce
1 cup Sour Cream
1 cup crushed Ritz Crackers
1 teaspoon Lawry's seasoned Salt
8-10 slices of bread (I use 8 when I make a square loaf)
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix all ingredients except bread slices. Shape into loaf. Use baking pan, not a loaf pan. Line pan with bread slices, place meat loaf on top. Bake loaf for 45-60 minutes. (I cook it for the full hour and it is done all the way through.) The bread absorbs any grease and should be discarded after loaf is removed from the oven.
SAUCE
One 10 3/4 oz can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 soup can measure of milk
1 1/2 cups grated Cheddar Cheese
Heat soup & Milk over medium heat; add cheese. Pour over meat loaf, or pass at the table.
* House Seasoning Recipe (makes quite a bit & is great in anything)
1 cup Salt, 1/4 cup Black Pepper, 1/4 cup Garlic Powder. Mix together well. Store in a shaker container near the stove for convenience.
INGREDIENTS
2 lbs Ground Beef (I use about a lb beef, and a lb pork)
2 tsp House Seasoning (recipe below)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium bell pepper, chopped
1 cup grated Cheddar Cheese
1/4 cup Worcestershire Sauce
1 cup Sour Cream
1 cup crushed Ritz Crackers
1 teaspoon Lawry's seasoned Salt
8-10 slices of bread (I use 8 when I make a square loaf)
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix all ingredients except bread slices. Shape into loaf. Use baking pan, not a loaf pan. Line pan with bread slices, place meat loaf on top. Bake loaf for 45-60 minutes. (I cook it for the full hour and it is done all the way through.) The bread absorbs any grease and should be discarded after loaf is removed from the oven.
SAUCE
One 10 3/4 oz can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 soup can measure of milk
1 1/2 cups grated Cheddar Cheese
Heat soup & Milk over medium heat; add cheese. Pour over meat loaf, or pass at the table.
* House Seasoning Recipe (makes quite a bit & is great in anything)
1 cup Salt, 1/4 cup Black Pepper, 1/4 cup Garlic Powder. Mix together well. Store in a shaker container near the stove for convenience.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Turkey & Stuffing Meatloaf
First the original recipe, then I will give you my shortcut version.
This makes a very large meatloaf, or you could divide into 2 loaves and freeze one.
**My sister, Cricket made this and said it would be good with a tarter apple (Granny Smith) and some shredded carrots.. great idea sis!
INGREDIENTS
2 McIntosh or Gala apples, peeled and cut into small dice
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 pounds ground all-white-meat turkey or a mix of dark and white meat
3-4 ribs of celery, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
1 large egg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups chicken stock
2 cups stuffing mix
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)
PREPARATION
Pre-heat the oven to 400ºF.In a large bowl, add the apples and lemon juice and toss together. Add the turkey, celery, onion, poultry seasoning, egg, salt and freshly ground black pepper.In a medium size bowl, add the stock and the stuffing. Toss around, letting the stuffing soak up the liquid, then add it to the bowl with the turkey. Mix everything together well, then turn it out onto a parchment paper-lined (or wax paper) baking sheet and shape it into a loaf. Coat with EVOO, transfer to the oven and roast until brown and cooked through, about an hour.
CIDER GRAVY
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
2 cups apple cider
2 cups chicken stock
Salt and ground black pepper
Preparation
In a skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter. Stir in the flour, cook 1 minute then whisk in the cider and stock. Let thicken, season with salt and pepper, then serve.
yesterday I was in the mood to make this, but not to run to the store.. so this is the short-cut version I made instead..it was really good!
SHORTCUT TURKEY & STUFFING MEATLOAF
2 lbs ground turkey
1 box stove top stuffing
2 cups chicken stock (heated til it just about boils)
1 large egg
1 handful craisins (Dried Cranberries)
Empty stove top stuffing into a mixing bowl. Add hot chickem stock, mix, then let sit until all liquid is absorbed. (Just a couple minutes) Then add ground turkey, craisins, and 1 large egg. Mix well, clean hands work best. Shape into 1 large loaf or 2 loaves. Cook in 400 degree preheated oven on a paper lined baking sheet (parchment or wax paper). Bake for 1 hour. I served it with roasted turkey gravy.
I also made "loaded mashed potatoes" w/ sour cream, grated cheese, & bacon bits. A major "comfort food" meal.
This makes a very large meatloaf, or you could divide into 2 loaves and freeze one.
**My sister, Cricket made this and said it would be good with a tarter apple (Granny Smith) and some shredded carrots.. great idea sis!
INGREDIENTS
2 McIntosh or Gala apples, peeled and cut into small dice
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 pounds ground all-white-meat turkey or a mix of dark and white meat
3-4 ribs of celery, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
1 large egg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups chicken stock
2 cups stuffing mix
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)
PREPARATION
Pre-heat the oven to 400ºF.In a large bowl, add the apples and lemon juice and toss together. Add the turkey, celery, onion, poultry seasoning, egg, salt and freshly ground black pepper.In a medium size bowl, add the stock and the stuffing. Toss around, letting the stuffing soak up the liquid, then add it to the bowl with the turkey. Mix everything together well, then turn it out onto a parchment paper-lined (or wax paper) baking sheet and shape it into a loaf. Coat with EVOO, transfer to the oven and roast until brown and cooked through, about an hour.
CIDER GRAVY
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
2 cups apple cider
2 cups chicken stock
Salt and ground black pepper
Preparation
In a skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter. Stir in the flour, cook 1 minute then whisk in the cider and stock. Let thicken, season with salt and pepper, then serve.
yesterday I was in the mood to make this, but not to run to the store.. so this is the short-cut version I made instead..it was really good!
SHORTCUT TURKEY & STUFFING MEATLOAF
2 lbs ground turkey
1 box stove top stuffing
2 cups chicken stock (heated til it just about boils)
1 large egg
1 handful craisins (Dried Cranberries)
Empty stove top stuffing into a mixing bowl. Add hot chickem stock, mix, then let sit until all liquid is absorbed. (Just a couple minutes) Then add ground turkey, craisins, and 1 large egg. Mix well, clean hands work best. Shape into 1 large loaf or 2 loaves. Cook in 400 degree preheated oven on a paper lined baking sheet (parchment or wax paper). Bake for 1 hour. I served it with roasted turkey gravy.
I also made "loaded mashed potatoes" w/ sour cream, grated cheese, & bacon bits. A major "comfort food" meal.
Born Again American by Keith Carradine
Awesome video..great cause..check it out..words listed below
www.bornagainamerican.org
Just a workin’ man without a job
It got shipped off to China via Washington, D.C.
And I know I’m nothin’ special, there are plenty more like me
Just the sameI thought I knew the rules of the game
I stood up for this country that I love
I came back from the desert to a wife and kids to feed
I’m not sayin’ Uncle Sam should give me what I need
My offer standsI’ll pull my weight you give me half a chance
I went up to a congressman and said to him “you know
Our government is letting people down”
He said he’d need a lot of help to buck the status-quo
I said there was a bunch of us around
I’m a Born Again American, conceived in Liberty
My Bible and the Bill of Rights, my creed’s equality
I’m a Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
My brother’s welding chassis at the plant
He’s earning what our granddad did in 1948
While CEOs count bonuses behind the castle gates
How can they see
When all they care about’s the do re mi
It’s getting where there’s nowhere left to turn
Not since the crash of twenty-nine have things been so unfair
So many of our citizens are living in despair
The time has come
To reaffirm that hope’s not just for some
The promise of America’s surrendering to greed
The rule is just look out for number one
But brace yourself ‘cause some of us have sown a different seed
A harvest of the spirit has begun
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and The Bill Of RightsMy creed’s equality
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
It’s clear my country’s soul is on the line
She’s hungering for something that she lost along the way
The principle the framers called upon us to obey
That in this land
The people’s will must have the upper hand
I felt the calling once before and took a sacred vow
And faithful to that vow
I have remainedI hear the calling once again, my country needs me now
And to her cause I have been re-ordained
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and the Bill Of Rights, all people living free
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining seaAnd everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining sea
A M E R I C A
www.bornagainamerican.org
Just a workin’ man without a job
It got shipped off to China via Washington, D.C.
And I know I’m nothin’ special, there are plenty more like me
Just the sameI thought I knew the rules of the game
I stood up for this country that I love
I came back from the desert to a wife and kids to feed
I’m not sayin’ Uncle Sam should give me what I need
My offer standsI’ll pull my weight you give me half a chance
I went up to a congressman and said to him “you know
Our government is letting people down”
He said he’d need a lot of help to buck the status-quo
I said there was a bunch of us around
I’m a Born Again American, conceived in Liberty
My Bible and the Bill of Rights, my creed’s equality
I’m a Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
My brother’s welding chassis at the plant
He’s earning what our granddad did in 1948
While CEOs count bonuses behind the castle gates
How can they see
When all they care about’s the do re mi
It’s getting where there’s nowhere left to turn
Not since the crash of twenty-nine have things been so unfair
So many of our citizens are living in despair
The time has come
To reaffirm that hope’s not just for some
The promise of America’s surrendering to greed
The rule is just look out for number one
But brace yourself ‘cause some of us have sown a different seed
A harvest of the spirit has begun
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and The Bill Of RightsMy creed’s equality
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream from sea to shining sea
It’s clear my country’s soul is on the line
She’s hungering for something that she lost along the way
The principle the framers called upon us to obey
That in this land
The people’s will must have the upper hand
I felt the calling once before and took a sacred vow
And faithful to that vow
I have remainedI hear the calling once again, my country needs me now
And to her cause I have been re-ordained
I’m a Born Again American conceived in liberty
My Bible and the Bill Of Rights, all people living free
A Born Again American, my country ‘tis of me
And everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining seaAnd everyone who shares the dream
From sea to shining sea
A M E R I C A
Monday, March 30, 2009
An indulgent day..
Today started like any other day. I got the kids up, dressed, fed & out the door. I took the boys to the bus, got them on, then took Alexa to school. Normally I might go to the drivethru at Starbucks, grab a coffee, then see what I could get done at the house before going to a project meeting at the boy's school. I am not sure why I diverted from that, but I went into Starbucks, sat down with my coffee & a croissant, and worked through a few sudoku puzzles until it was time to go to the meeting. The meeting was at 9:30, I left the school at 1:30. As Brian says.."I can't say no!"
Then I went back to the house & did a few things until it was time to pick the boys up from the bus. I had to go to Sears to pickup a water filter for our refridgerator, so I took the boys to do it since I got sidetracked at the school earlier. Sears is at one end of the mall. At the other end is the kid's playground and an icecream place called Maggie Moo's. They have the creamiest homemade icecream and mix in your choice of goodies. I think we've only been there once before.
I decided to take the boys to Maggie's and then let them play at the playground. Hunter got bubblegum icecream with gummie bears & marshmallows. He forgot how hard it is to chew ice cold gummie bears! Tristan chose chocolate icecream with oreos & marshmallows. They switched when they were almost done so they could taste what the other one got. I tried their "better batter" icecream that tastes like cake batter, then added caramel & almonds. It was sooooo yummy! Now the boys are playing for a bit, then we will go get Alexa & head home. What an awesome, and for me, a very indulgent day!
Then I went back to the house & did a few things until it was time to pick the boys up from the bus. I had to go to Sears to pickup a water filter for our refridgerator, so I took the boys to do it since I got sidetracked at the school earlier. Sears is at one end of the mall. At the other end is the kid's playground and an icecream place called Maggie Moo's. They have the creamiest homemade icecream and mix in your choice of goodies. I think we've only been there once before.
I decided to take the boys to Maggie's and then let them play at the playground. Hunter got bubblegum icecream with gummie bears & marshmallows. He forgot how hard it is to chew ice cold gummie bears! Tristan chose chocolate icecream with oreos & marshmallows. They switched when they were almost done so they could taste what the other one got. I tried their "better batter" icecream that tastes like cake batter, then added caramel & almonds. It was sooooo yummy! Now the boys are playing for a bit, then we will go get Alexa & head home. What an awesome, and for me, a very indulgent day!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Technology has taken over!
Since Chad's graduation things have been flying by in a blur! It took a day or two to get us all unpacked and settled back in.
Brian & I switched our cell service from AT&T to Verizon this week. We had AT&T for over 10 years. Their customer service has become non-existent, and their new conversion changed our discount too, so it was time for a change. So I have spent the past few days getting setup and used to my new blackberry curve. I have always had a basic cell phone. My priority was a decent camera. No internet, no email, etc. This thing has and does more than I will ever use! It can also be addictive. It is a mini laptop! I can get my email, facebook updates, tons of stuff I really lived just fine without having at my fingertips. It doesn't just hold phone numbers.. it holds work and home addresses, birthdays & anniversaries too! I can personalize your number with a picture, (which I have almost everyone set up with already!) and even a custom ringtone so it shows your pic and plays your song when you call. How crazy is that?! My poor laptop was beginning to feel obsolete. My sister told me I could link up with flickr and my blog on my phone too, but I think I should leave something for my laptop to do!
I have been so submerged in technology the past couple days that it was a reality check to take the kids to the movies today and have to shut off my phone. I actually had to shut it off rather than turn it to silent because there are so many applications on it I couldn't find the one to change the ringer volume! Of course after the movie I found it right away. It was just more data than my mind could compute at the moment I needed it to!
So here I am back on my trusty laptop, well, not so trusty.. it has been acting up and at the moment has to be hooked up on a landline to work properly. But still my good old connection to the internet world. It also makes it easier for my "good, old" fingers & eyes to manipulate the keys! That phone keyboard is tiny!!
So off to bed I go. To recharge myself, and according to the beeping message, also to recharge my cell phone!!
Brian & I switched our cell service from AT&T to Verizon this week. We had AT&T for over 10 years. Their customer service has become non-existent, and their new conversion changed our discount too, so it was time for a change. So I have spent the past few days getting setup and used to my new blackberry curve. I have always had a basic cell phone. My priority was a decent camera. No internet, no email, etc. This thing has and does more than I will ever use! It can also be addictive. It is a mini laptop! I can get my email, facebook updates, tons of stuff I really lived just fine without having at my fingertips. It doesn't just hold phone numbers.. it holds work and home addresses, birthdays & anniversaries too! I can personalize your number with a picture, (which I have almost everyone set up with already!) and even a custom ringtone so it shows your pic and plays your song when you call. How crazy is that?! My poor laptop was beginning to feel obsolete. My sister told me I could link up with flickr and my blog on my phone too, but I think I should leave something for my laptop to do!
I have been so submerged in technology the past couple days that it was a reality check to take the kids to the movies today and have to shut off my phone. I actually had to shut it off rather than turn it to silent because there are so many applications on it I couldn't find the one to change the ringer volume! Of course after the movie I found it right away. It was just more data than my mind could compute at the moment I needed it to!
So here I am back on my trusty laptop, well, not so trusty.. it has been acting up and at the moment has to be hooked up on a landline to work properly. But still my good old connection to the internet world. It also makes it easier for my "good, old" fingers & eyes to manipulate the keys! That phone keyboard is tiny!!
So off to bed I go. To recharge myself, and according to the beeping message, also to recharge my cell phone!!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Family Day 3.19.09
We are all home and Chad is getting settled at Fort Huachuca in AZ, check out more photos in the photo gallery. (Link on the right sidebar, or double click on this photo top get there.)
Friday, March 20, 2009
Letting go..
Everyone is sleeping and I can't! It is actually still Thursday for me. We had a good day with Chad. He has become a man over the past 10 weeks. He even looks different to me. Not just in his physical appearance, but in how he carries himself. With a confidence & direction I am not used to seeing in him. I am so very proud of him!
My Mom & Dad came in this afternoon and had dinner with all of us at the NCO Club, They had a dinner for his unit there. He couldn't go off base until tomorrow, so he will see Greta & Randy in the morning. They got in this evening. He will have tomorrow until he has to report back to his unit (by 9 pm). Then he flys out Saturday morning to Arizona where he will go to tech school for almost 11 months.
Kierra living in St. Pete. is the farthest any of our children have lived from us. Even when Chad lived & worked with Greg & Lisa, it was just a couple hours away.
This is a new journey for both of us. It has been the best thing for Chad. It has been hard to let him go, partly because we weren't on the best terms when he left. I am trying to let that go too. This 24 hours with him here is like stepping into another dimension, a place we haven't been before. A reunion, a celebration, & a farewell packed into two 12 hour days.
That is such a short amount of time to get to know him, this man who used to be my little boy. I can say he always will be, but that child is packed away with my memories, and I have to rerrange his "room" in my mind, to adapt to this grown man he has become.
It will be hard to let him go not knowing when I will see him again. I am trying to plan a road trip with the kids in July, but alot can happen between now & then. He said he will try to come home for Christmas.
So this is what it feels like to truly have your child leave the nest, to love them enough to let them go...OUCH!
My Mom & Dad came in this afternoon and had dinner with all of us at the NCO Club, They had a dinner for his unit there. He couldn't go off base until tomorrow, so he will see Greta & Randy in the morning. They got in this evening. He will have tomorrow until he has to report back to his unit (by 9 pm). Then he flys out Saturday morning to Arizona where he will go to tech school for almost 11 months.
Kierra living in St. Pete. is the farthest any of our children have lived from us. Even when Chad lived & worked with Greg & Lisa, it was just a couple hours away.
This is a new journey for both of us. It has been the best thing for Chad. It has been hard to let him go, partly because we weren't on the best terms when he left. I am trying to let that go too. This 24 hours with him here is like stepping into another dimension, a place we haven't been before. A reunion, a celebration, & a farewell packed into two 12 hour days.
That is such a short amount of time to get to know him, this man who used to be my little boy. I can say he always will be, but that child is packed away with my memories, and I have to rerrange his "room" in my mind, to adapt to this grown man he has become.
It will be hard to let him go not knowing when I will see him again. I am trying to plan a road trip with the kids in July, but alot can happen between now & then. He said he will try to come home for Christmas.
So this is what it feels like to truly have your child leave the nest, to love them enough to let them go...OUCH!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Graduation Day..
I am getting things ready for our trip to SC for Chad's Army Basic Training Graduation. There don't seem to be enough hours in my day! He has family day Thursday, then graduates on Friday, He will head out to AZ on Saturday. I am not taking my laptop because it is still acting up, so I won't be online until I get back Sat. night.
I had half of a good day today, then it went to hell. As much as I love my husband, there are times he really doesn't "get it". After more than 25 years he should know I am more dangerous when I am hurt than when I am mad. I wish I could blow things off the way he seems to. But I am like a hungry dog with a bone, and I don't give it up! He should know that too! I am trying not to let it spoil the trip the way it spoiled my day. Of course.. I do love to chew on those bones!! He better hope I find something (or someone) else to gnaw on!
TTFN
I had half of a good day today, then it went to hell. As much as I love my husband, there are times he really doesn't "get it". After more than 25 years he should know I am more dangerous when I am hurt than when I am mad. I wish I could blow things off the way he seems to. But I am like a hungry dog with a bone, and I don't give it up! He should know that too! I am trying not to let it spoil the trip the way it spoiled my day. Of course.. I do love to chew on those bones!! He better hope I find something (or someone) else to gnaw on!
TTFN
Monday, March 16, 2009
Mj & the kids 3.14.09
Check out the new pix in the photo gallery.. Greta & Randy had pix done with all their grandkids so I had a couple shots taken.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Cloudy day
My laptop has been giving me major grief since yesterday afternoon. I am not sure what the deal is, but will be limited for posting until it gets sorted out. Yesterday was just an all around crappy day! Today doesn't seem to be faring much better. My mood matches the cloudy day outside my window, so maybe it is good that I am forced to be somewhat disconnected from the outside world! Hope things in your world are a bit brighter.. I'll be back soon!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Food for thought..
This is what happens when you don't feel well, Daddy won't be home til late and you spend way too much time with your kids! Alexa informed me she had to have one more letter to have the same as Hunter and she wanted an S for her last name! I guess that's one way to avoid confusion as to which plate is theirs!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Blog Blurbs
*I am volunteering this week at the boy's school. I am helping with the FCAT testing. I did it last year for 3rd grade. This year I am helping in 4th. It can be a long 2 hours! The rules are so strict and they have to follow the protocol exactly. I remember tests in school, but nothing like this! I am going to have lunch with Tristan after testing tomorrow, then have lunch with Hunter after testing on Thursday.
*I have been going through the kid's winter clothes and now have to sort through and get out their summer clothes. It has been in the 80's lately! They grow and change faster than I can seem to keep up with.
*They are not liking the time change at all. It is a major discussion for them to go to bed when it is barely dark out, then hard to make them get up before the sun. I am hoping they adjust to it soon! Mornings are rough right now.
*Chad is doing well and has passed his PT tests. We are really looking forward to his graduation. I am really proud of him. It still seems strange that he will be out in AZ soon and be there almost a year.
*Brianne is doing good. Almost back to her old self again. She still gets headaches when she is on the computer at work too long, or if it is real noisy. But she is back to work & driving and all seems to be going well.
*I almost started a line about Kierra, that is how automatic it is when I am talking about them all and updating about them. It is such a void, a missing part of the whole. I wasn't really even thinking about her, it just popped in there while I was typing. I wonder about "Heaven", about an "afterlife".. About what the souls/spirits of our loved ones are doing out there, in the vast unknown. I believe they are definitely there, but could not begin to define "where, how", etc. She is here, all around me, in my heart, in my head, even when I am not consciously thinking of her.
* Brian is working on a task force until mid-April. His hours suck and he has to work most of his days off to make up his off-duty hours. I am looking forward to having time with him for Chad's graduation, another bonus!
*Time to go get Alexa, so that's about it for now.
*I have been going through the kid's winter clothes and now have to sort through and get out their summer clothes. It has been in the 80's lately! They grow and change faster than I can seem to keep up with.
*They are not liking the time change at all. It is a major discussion for them to go to bed when it is barely dark out, then hard to make them get up before the sun. I am hoping they adjust to it soon! Mornings are rough right now.
*Chad is doing well and has passed his PT tests. We are really looking forward to his graduation. I am really proud of him. It still seems strange that he will be out in AZ soon and be there almost a year.
*Brianne is doing good. Almost back to her old self again. She still gets headaches when she is on the computer at work too long, or if it is real noisy. But she is back to work & driving and all seems to be going well.
*I almost started a line about Kierra, that is how automatic it is when I am talking about them all and updating about them. It is such a void, a missing part of the whole. I wasn't really even thinking about her, it just popped in there while I was typing. I wonder about "Heaven", about an "afterlife".. About what the souls/spirits of our loved ones are doing out there, in the vast unknown. I believe they are definitely there, but could not begin to define "where, how", etc. She is here, all around me, in my heart, in my head, even when I am not consciously thinking of her.
* Brian is working on a task force until mid-April. His hours suck and he has to work most of his days off to make up his off-duty hours. I am looking forward to having time with him for Chad's graduation, another bonus!
*Time to go get Alexa, so that's about it for now.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Out of the blue..
I heard this for the first time today flipping through radio stations.
Artist: Jackson Alan
Song: Sissy's Song
Album: Good Time
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, (wife) and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
(Then asking for His love)
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me
Artist: Jackson Alan
Song: Sissy's Song
Album: Good Time
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, (wife) and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
(Then asking for His love)
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me
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