an awful great weekend..

We had such an awful great weekend. Makes no sense. No more sense than death & grief ever make. We insisted on getting away & having fun with the kiddos. Making some good memories to over ride the bad. Saturday the 13th marked 5 years since Kierra was killed.
It was a hard day on it's own, but was made even worse by betrayal & hurt. Brian went by his Mom's house to get a pillow I left there. Only to find the locks changed & garage code changed. Supposedly an oversight, he wasn't given the code to get in even after the fact, which would have resolved the issue.
A statement was made in the background of a phone conversation that speaks volumes. No matter the pretenses.. that statement crossed a line that can never be returned from. Above & beyond being locked out of his own mother's home. I was not suprised by the turn of events, but Brian was. He truly believed in his mother's intentions & that brothers would be brothers no matter what. I hurt for him, for the pain of loss all over again for him. I hurt for the person within him this has unleashed.
I have been there, I have seen what greed & selfishness can do. The damage done can be devestating. I had hoped beyond my own expectations that things would not go this way for Brian's family. No one child has more rights than the others. No one child has more pain or loss.
We made great memories with the kids this weekend despite the turn of events. We pushed above the waste & debris left by others. We set aside what will need to be dealt with & did what our hearts needed to heal. We held strong to each other & will continue to do so.
Give your children your love & memories now, give them what you want them to have now.. that is the only way you can be sure they will get it. Because death changes everything.