Catch me when you can

I have watched a series for a while now called "Army Wives" on the Lifetime Network. This season has hit close to home. One of the main characters lost her daughter in an explosion. It has been pretty realistic so far. The other night it dealt with going back to where her daughter was killed. She had helped a grieving father who lost his son in Iraq. The man said he wished he could go to the spot where his son was killed because that was the last place his son, Roger, was Roger.

She had been dealing with going back to where her daughter was killed and in the end of the episode she and her other daughter went there. It was very emotional. For me too! I can't help but think of where the last place "Kierra was Kierra". But I so much prefer to remember the last time I saw her, or any of the thousands of memories I carry with me of her. The show is almost too realistic. Not over dramatized or too trite. They have portayed grief from several perspectives and relationships. It is almost as good as therapy!

If you have not experienced such a close loss it can be hard to understand how I can still be so affected after almost 3 years. Why I am not "over it", or able to "move on". I will never be over it, and I think I have moved on, moved forward. I have had no choice. Life hasn't given me the luxury of being able to wallow, or dwell on it to the point of just staying in bed with the covers pulled over my head.

I am not as social as I was before, but I think it is more due to the responsibility of 2 more children than it is that I am emotionally unavailable. Of course my perception is from the inside looking out, not how others see me. If you invite me to do something I will try to make it happen. That is the best I can do, but I can usually work it out. When I am able to do something I try to call and see who can join me. But often I am too busy with too many things to think much about being sociable. So if you want to get together, give me a call. I don't bite (not lately), and I don't have any contagious diseases at the moment. It's just a matter of "catching me when you can!"