Father, Father..

The past 2 weeks have given me very different definitions of that word. I have viewed it from several perspectives and come up with varied opinions. It is just a word after all.. or is it? Father, Dad, Daddy, they all inspire different thoughts and meanings for all of us.

My father, Stanley, died in 1998. I didn't know him very well until I was an adult. I wish I had more time with him. I wish I had known him better. He was my Father.

Kierra called Brian Daddy from almost the day she met him. She always considered him her Father. Even when she was older and met her biological father, she always felt Brian was hers. She changed her name to Shore when she was 20 because she wanted the world to know it, and gave Brian the papers as a gift for Christmas. Those bonds are stronger than if she had been born to him.

Brian has a hard time with the twins calling him Daddy. They call him Papa too, which is his preference, but they call him Daddy more and more lately. The Dr. says it really is just a name to them, we are the ones who attach meaning to it.

Alex came to visit a couple weeks ago. They called him Daddy Alex, Dad, but most often just Alex. They didn't understand who he is or what the term Dad or Daddy means in connection to him. He was someone new who gave them his undivided attention for a few days. He took some great pictures. I will post them on the gallery over the weekend. I took a few at the zoo that I will post as well. He is off to California. We didn't get into any heavy discussions. I think it was all a bit overwhelming for him. It is for me some days too!

My Mom & Dad just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. He is legally my step-Dad, which has never counted for me. He is my Dad. Greta & I threw a huge suprise party for them and also to celebrate my Mom's 75th birthday. (Between that & Alex I have been swamped the past couple weeks.. hence less blogging!) It was full of emotional moments and lots of suprises. No matter what went on behind the scenes, the party was a hit. My Mom said it was all she had dreamed of. My Dad couldn't believe all we had done and that so many of us were there. 6 out of my mother's 7 children were there. And 1 of my Dad's 3 daughters came as well. He was so glad to see her there. I never had a doubt about inviting his daughters to the party. They are his children too. They didn't see him much growing up. There were alot of reasons why. Their Mother has passed on several years ago and they have gotten closer to him as adults. Watching the video was hard for her, and made her realize not all the things she was raised to believe were true. It was an opportunity for old wounds to heal and hopefully bring them closer together. He is her Father, but she doesn't have the bond I have with him as my Dad. His blood may run through her veins, but it runs through my heart. I hope she gets the chance to have that with him. I have never consciously seperated the categories of siblings in our family. My mother had 5 children when she married my Dad. I was the youngest of those 5. My younger brother and sister are their children together. I never considered them anything other than my brother and sister. I didn't talk about them as my half brother and sister. We were all raised together. It was a kick this weekend to introduce them as my "baby" brother and sister! So as you can see, our family tree has many branches. Some stronger than others, some a little weak, but with support they will grow strong again.
Multiple meanings of what a Father is, can be, and should be. But so much more than just a "word".