One of the lucky few..

For every flicker of joy, there come flames of sadness..

Kierra fell in love with Brian before I did, she was 18 months old. The morning after meeting him for the fist time she went right up to him and called him Daddy. She didn't call anyone Daddy at the time and it suprised both of us. She took right to him, and I must admit.. so did I! That morning was Dec. 31, 1982. Kierra & I moved to Wyoming May 12, 1983. We were married July 1, 1983. It was quite a big deal for Kierra because whenever we talked to her about it, she said she wanted to get married too. So it was always "we", Kierra & I, were going to marry Daddy.

The night before the wedding Kierra & I stayed over at a friend's house. Ron Parsons stood in for my Dad and he and his wife Karen let Brian come over and tuck Kierra & I into bed, but then made him go home so he wouldn't see me the day of our wedding until I walked down the aisle of the church. It was small, simple, and one of the most beautiful days of my life. None of our family or friends from out of state could make it, so we had a few friends we knew there and the three of us. Ron's wife Karen was my matron of Honor, Brian's room mate Tim was his best man, and Kierra was our flower girl.

For Brian & I, our entire life together has been with Kierra, so how can it be we are without her now? "We" were supposed to be married forever. I can't recall the joy of that day without feeling the sorrow of her being gone. Please don't remind me how much I have to be thankful for. I know that, and I am thankful, but I can not seperate my mind from my heart. I can not disconnect my memories of her life from the memory of her death. So right now it is hard to celebrate our life together. I will cherish this day always, but it isn't a "happy" anniversary for us. I had the hardest time finding a card that wasn't full of cheerful, chipper crap. I did find a card that talked about having a true partner, someone they can count on in good times and bad..a love that is even stronger for all they've been through together. About being one of the lucky few to find someone like that... and I am.