The smell of defeat...White Cheddar Popcorn!

Alexa was supposed to have tubes put in her ears today. Supposed to.. which means it didn't happen. Everything was set.. no food after midnight, only clear fluids til 5:30am. Nothing after that. Nothing until I left the room to pee! Tristan & Alexa were on the couch watching the Disney Channel. I mistakenly thought they would stay there for the 30 seconds I needed to go potty. I know this is TMI, but I was... in the middle of what I needed to do.. mere seconds.. and I heard the pantry door open. I yelled at them and for Brian. They ignored me and he didn't hear me. I finished the best I could and came out of the bathroom pulling things up as I went.
And there they both were.. hands holding the evidence, more evidence on the floor. I held a small glimmer of hope that Alexa didn't have any in her mouth. She didn't, but her breath smelled just like their favorite snack.. and guiltily mine too... white cheddar popcorn. So no surgery today due to risk of aspiration during anethesia. They tried not to laugh when I called to let them know, and she is rescheduled for Friday. There will be no popcorn in the house.. and I will not be taking any potty breaks until they have her sedated!

Bridge to Terabithia

Okay, I should know by now not to go by previews alone. I thought this movie looked like a good movie for Hunter & I to go to. He liked Narnia, and the previews did not give me cause for concern. I hadn't run into anyone who had seen it yet, so yesterday Hunter and I had a date and we went to see it. The tragic twist in the tale shocked me. I couldn't help but cry. Hunter touched my hand and said, "Mom.. it's okay, Terabithia is magic.. it is in Jessie's imagination. When he goes back, she will be there, she will always be in his imagination, like Kierra is in mine." I so hoped he was right. But he wasn't. And when the girl wasn't in Terabithia Hunter was devestated. He told me that movies are supposed to have happy endings. How could it end that way? I tried my best to explain. Hunter then told me.. "Mom, first the movie ended all wrong and now I am disappointed again..you are supposed to know everything!" My heart broke. I hate movies like that! Message in a bottle, City of Angels, Pay it Forward, Steele Magnolias..ugh! I don't mind a tear jerker now & then.. but leave my heart in one piece! Then on the way home Hunter told me he wants the movie on DVD. I asked him why he would want such a sad movie?? He sighed as if disappointed again that I didn't already know the answer.. and said that if he watched it again maybe he would understand it better and he would get used to the sad parts. I told him we would see, that I didn't want to be that sad again. He told me that we get that sad alot about Kierra and he really wanted to know why the girl didn't stay in Jessie's imagination. I think he is worried Kierra won't stay in his. I told him the movie only shows some of his imagination, and is only a short period of time. And it is a story, not real. He, Hunter is real, and his feelings and thoughts are real. That is different than a movie. That seemed to appease him, but I am sure there are more discussions in our future. There should be warnings on movies like that.. Kleenex meter= a whole box!

Our Karate Kid!

Our Karate Kid!
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

Hunter just graduated to his camouflage belt in Karate. I am amazed at what he learns and remembers. He has settled in and seems to enjoy it. We are very proud of him!

Tristan zonked out!

Tristan zonked out! 2 23 07
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

Alexa zonked out!

Alexa zonked out! 2 23 07
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

Playing Outdoors

Kids 2 23 07
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

I finally moved the kids outdoor stuff over to the rental. This is their playhouse. They also have a pirate ship, slide, and picnic table. It was too hard to move the big fort/swingset. That will have to wait for the move to the new house! I put it all on the patio just outside the sliding doors off the living room. They played all day! I had to make them come in while I went to get Hunter from school so Chad could watch them, and they both zonked out on the couch and slept for almost 2 hours! Now that is a good day..

Thank You!

I am fortunate that Hunter is considered the most polite child in his class. The twins also get praised at their speech therapy and different appointments for always saying Thank You. We were in Publix the other day and they all got a free cookie from the bakery. They all said Thank you. The woman said she was amazed that they did that on their own. She gives out cookies all day long, and not even the parents bother to say thank you. I told her it was something I taught them from before they could even speak. She asked, "how do you teach them that so young?" I told her I said thank you when I gave them things, and I tell them thank you when they do something I ask of them. Like sitting down at the Dr.'s office, or picking up a toy. She said she really appreciated being thanked even if it was just for giving them a cookie. That got me to thinking. Do I say Thank You as often as I expect the kids to? So I have made a real effort this week to do that. Again at Publix I went down an aisle and a young man was stocking shelves. He saw me coming and immediately started moving the boxes he was emptying. I told him not to worry about it, there was plenty of room for me to go around. Then I turned to him and said, "By the way.. thank you for keeping groceries on the shelves. That's hard work, and without it I couldn't feed my family. You have a great day." He thanked me and told me he hadn't been thanked like that since he went up to help during hurricane Katrina. I told him it was a shame we all take each other for granted. I told an older man "Thank You for your time, I really appreciate it." when he made me a sandwich at Publix today. (Boy I go to Puiblix alot! I have thanked other people too!) He told me to come back anytime and he would keep me stocked in extra pickles! It made us both smile. How hard was that? I am proud of the kids for being thankful, and I will try to be more thankful myself. So.. "Thank You!", to you all for taking the time to be interested in our lives. Have a great day!

More pix..

There are more "New House" pix on flickr, so just click on the pic of the house below and it will take you there, then click the "browse" button to the right and you can view all my pictures! The kitchen and breakfast nook floor are being replaced with tile, and the kitchen counters are being replaced with quartz, will update pix when that is done. Amazing the incentives they give to sell a house!

Lost & Found

New House
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

Today I got lost looking at houses. That is how I found our new house! It is everything we need and more. It has a big yard and it is right around the corner form the pool & playground. I'll have more pix and info later. We should move about the first of April.

Topsy Turvy

That's how things are right now. Topsy Turvy, aka sticker shock, aka reality check. The final numbers came back for the renovation. We expected it to be a bit higher because we wanted some extra work done. It was way, way higher than we expected. So we talked about cutting it back, paring it down to bare bones and see what those numbers are. Brian went to work last night and thought about it some more, looked up houses and today we went house hunting. We aren't locked into the renovation yet, and it would wipe out everything we have to do it. We had the best of intentions. We really like our neighborhood, etc. If the $$ had been more within our range we would move forward. The pre estimates were do-able, the final costs are not. We looked at houses today that have more square footage than ours would have even after the renovation. We would still have money in the bank. The plus side to being out of our house already is that we can get it cleaned up, painted, and get it on the market. It will sell better without us in it, crowded to the hilt! We bought it at a much lower price than it's current value, so we can afford to price it lower to sell fast. So at the moment everything is all upside down. The best option so far is further south in St. John's County, just north of St. Augustine. So I am pulling my hair out, trying to look at the "up" side to all this.

Bits & Pieces..

I still have alot of things to sort and pack at the old house. It has been an emotional rollercoaster to go through some of it. I am packing away some things that have become part of my everyday reminders of Kie. I have kept out the important ones, and tenderly wrapped and packed the others. The things that I prepared myself to deal with were easier than I thought. It was the little things that I didn't expect that surprised me more.
I didn't really think ahead about moving Kierra's ashes. I have dusted and touched the dolphins often. So I didn't expect the jolt I felt when I lifted it in my arms to carry her out of the room. It struck me that I was holding her in my arms. Almost as I did when she was a baby. That this was the only way I would ever hold her again. It was an emotionally devestating moment. I got through it. Set the Urn down in the other room.. went outside by myself and cryed my eyes out. The rest will be easy...right?

Sick of the sickness!!

Ok, the kids are at the tail end of sick. Brian is sick with some crappy crud, and my doc tells me today that I have pneumonia. Not just the "walking" kind that isn't full blown and easily cured. That would be too easy. I keep inflaming my lungs with all the dust and stuff at the old house. I have to do breathing treatments and heavy antibiotics and doped up decongestants. Of course I am suppose to get lots of rest and not overdo. yea right. It seems like we are constantly on a sickness merry-go-round. The kids take vitamins, we use all the sanitizers, lysol wipes, etc. So what else can I do? Tristan's surgery is supposed to help with his ear infections and colds. He just got over being sick, so not sure how well that is working yet! My doc says my biggest issue is not enough sleep. I don't always take my thyroid meds and I almost never take any vitamins or immunity boosters. I can know that, and I can set up my little daily med tray so I can take them, but I don't know how to keep it all on track when a dozen other things get in the way. I am tired of sick and tired!

A Lot of Little Notes...

There are several things to blog on, but rather than do one mass ramble, I will do them on their own.
The weekend was good. Barney developed an abcess on the "frog" of his hoof. So he is "lame" for the duration of treatment & healing.. maybe a couple weeks. He may have gotten a stone stuck, or stepped on something out in pasture. So I rode Marge, Tortuga's Mom. Then I rode Heiffer.. who is a true heiffer(cow). which in German would be Gross Coo...Big Cow. There was a German gentleman, Fred, who wanted to ride with us rather than the large group. He taught us some German and we taught him some English. Then Sunday I rode Sally.. who would not lead. I missed my "Dream" boy! Altho Barney can be a little hard headed, he is such a great ride. It makes it very hard for me to ride another horse. They just don't seem to measure up. The only other horse there who comes close is Cracker, and she is not usually available except to guides. I won't get back up there til the first of March, so Barney should be better by then.

How can I ever repay this kind of friendship?

I have many great friends. I love them all. I am giving Kudos to Terri & Dwight right now. They are watching the twins this weekend while I am up at the ranch in Ga. I just found out both Tristan & Alexa have been running fevers and have alternated sleeping & being cranky.. not at the same time! Tristan was having an issue with his adenoids (well, where his adenoids were) and Alexa has upcoming ear surgery the 28th, so they both are on antibiotics, but don't usually run fevers when they are sick. I don't know many people who wouldn't have been on the phone right away for me to come get my sick, cranky kids. I only have a select few people who will watch them for more than a day even when they are well! So a huge Thank You to Terri & Dwight who have alot of other things going on right now and really did not need sick babies added to it.
I have had a flare up with my asthmatic Bronchitis due to all the dust and dirt from the move, and was pretty bad with it before I left. While Terri has been going with almost no sleep, I have been able to get more rest than at home. So my gratitude is two fold! I don't know how I would have managed. When I wonder how I will ever get through this, how I will manage to raise these children in addition to Hunter and all that goes on in our everyday lives, I remind myself .. this is how, with the help and love of our friends and family. I am nothing without you all. Thank You!

Too Busy to Wear My Own Underwear!

This may be considered too much information, but it is true! We are living in the rental now and still have odds and ends to move, pack, or get rid of. I made sure the kids have all the essentials, and I made sure Brian had what he needed. I threw some things in a suitcase for me, but realized this morning that the suitcase is still at the other house. Normally I would have gone commando..(I know, TMI again!).. but it was too cold. So I did what any rushed, tired, crazed woman would do.. I stole a pair of my husbands britches. I must say mine are more comfortable! I made sure the suitcase got moved to the rental and I will be back in my own drawers tomorrow.

The Birthday..

We (I) made the big push to get moved over the weekend. We took a break Sunday to celebrate the twin's birthday at Ollie Koala's. They had a blast as usual. Good friends, Good Fun. We kept it low key this year. Only a few people called or e-mailed to see what the plans were. I didn't feel right advertising it on the blog. The people who have been here all along were there, except for a few special people who couldn't make it. Alex called from Iraq & left a message, which is still hard to deal with, but at least he called. He sent them cards and some stuffed Eeyores. I may have to deal with him when he gets back at the end of the year, so I will save those worries for another day. They enjoyed their day and got lots of cool stuff, even though I told everyone they have too much already! They got a snow cone machine and woke up the next morning wanting snow cones for breakfast! They didn't get the snow cones, but they sure were persistent. I think they may be a tad bit spoiled! But that is what it all boils down too.. the happy moments.

Kie & babies Feb. 4, 2004

Kie & babies Feb. 4, 2004
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

Hard to imagine it has been 3 years already. Even harder to imagine that she really isn't here to celebrate with them.. We have been teaching Tristan & Alexa to say Happy Birthday, and Alexa will only say "Birthday!" I want it to be Happy for them. It is such a bittersweet day for me. Happy Birthday Babies!

Kids Feb 2 07

Kids Feb 2 07
Originally uploaded by mommanana.

It's that time of year again. I swear it takes years off my life to go through the craziness of getting their pictures taken. I make sure we get the same photographers that have always taken their pictures, so that helps. We did get more good shots to choose from than usual since they are older now and do follow directions (somewhat!).
As usual, click on the pic and go to the gallery to see the rest of the pictures. They are all adorable!!

My Son's many questions..

I am used to the questions "Why is the sky blue? How does the grass grow? Where did I come from? Why do Girls pee sitting down? Why do you & Daddy sleep in the same bed? If food smells good, why does poop smell so bad? "
I am not used to the questions "If God took Kierra to Heaven, why can't he bring her back? Why did that man have to kill my sister? What if one day I close my eyes and I can't see her anymore? Why would God want us to hurt so bad? How can I think of the happy times with Kierra when her being dead makes me so sad? Can I stay 5 years old, not have my birthday, and not grow up? That way I won't have to get older and die, you & daddy won't get older and die.. no one else will have to die, okay?"
I do the best I can, but even I don't have all the answers..